Upon Such Sacrifices
by Celtic Cat
Summary: There is dissension in the ranks of the Powers That Be. Over Spike. What will their decision be? Winner of a Chosen Award!
1. Welcome to Wolfram and Hart

9

I do not own the characters from Angel, they belong to the Prince of Dark.., er, excuse me, Joss Whedon.

Oh, Mr. Whedon, can Spike come out to play?

Upon Such Sacrifices

It was a place that was not a place, nor did time have any meaning. It merely was. The beings, for lack of a better word, were neither matter nor energy, nor indeed anything that could be quantified by the science of men. They too, merely were. Most of the billions of people bustling about on their crowded little planet had no idea that they even existed, nor would they have believed if they had been told about them. There were some few that were aware of their presence, although, they were among the first to admit that they had really no idea what purpose they served in the larger scheme of things, or indeed, if they served at all, and were not the purpose themselves. These few referred to the beings as The Powers That Be.

There was, at this, moment, for lack of a better term, dissension among the ranks of the powers. Again, the discussion did not take place as either speech or thought, but something beyond man's comprehension. But if, by some strange quirk of fate, a human being had been there, it would have been translated to something a human being could understand.

The powers had no names, as such, but being fond of colors, they were identified by the one they had chosen as their own. Right now, it was the entire optic spectrum and then some against the lone voice of one designated as Rose.

Rose: "It isn't right. He deliberately sought out a soul. He sacrificed himself willingly for others. And what reward does he receive? A frustrating incorporeal existence and the knowledge that his future is in hell. He deserves better."

Cerulean: "He was a vicious vampire. He killed and tortured many. What can possibly atone for that?"

Sienna: "And he is not the only souled vampire. His companion is also possessed of a soul. And has done much good since receiving it."

Rose: "Conceded that Angel has done much good. But as an unsouled vampire, he was even more vicious than William. And he had a soul thrust upon him. He didn't seek it, and when his soul is missing, he will fight tooth and nail against getting it back. Angelus is the better monster, but I believe that William is the better man. He deserves another chance. At least allow me the chance to give him back what he had. A vampire's body and a human soul."

Viridian: "It is my belief that you are far too distant to judge properly. You have not walked amongst them, wearing one of their bodies. Why don't you go down there and interact with them before continuing to argue your point? You may find that you change your mind."

Rose: "I will go. I will be among them and live as one of them. But I do not think I will change my mind. Is there to be a time limit?"

Citrine: "Take all the time you wish. It is not as though it has any meaning. But do not decide too hastily. It is a serious matter, else we would not be arguing over it."

Rose: "What powers will I be allowed?"

Violet: "No powers whatsoever. You will live entirely as a human. If you can force a decision in your, or rather, William's favor, you will be given what powers you need to effect the change. We will facilitate your entry into Wolfram and Hart so that you may interact with him."

Rose: "When do I leave?"

&&&&&&

Wesley was currently interviewing a candidate for an opening in his research staff. There had been several applicants, but this one was definitely going to be his choice. She may be a bit lacking in the social graces, but she knew her stuff. He had yet to trip her up on anything, from prophecies to spells to different types of demons. It was almost as if she had the entire Wolfram and Hart occult library tucked away in her head. Yes, he reflected, Rose was going to be an asset to his staff.

Rose fidgeted in the chair the Watcher had seated her in. How did humans manage to concentrate on anything, when there was all this constant distraction from their senses? The smells, the sights, the sound of Wesley's voice, the feel of the leather chair. She was so overwhelmed that she could barely manage to answer the questions that he kept firing at her. In fact, she finally missed one, so great was her preoccupation.

"I'm sorry?" Rose tried to remember all the polite interactive phrases. If she (the powers had no gender, but Rose had had to choose to live in a human body), was going to be here for a while then she would have to get along with them. Preferably without offending any of them.

"I said, 'when can you start'?" Wesley repeated. The lady seemed to be terribly nervous, but that could be simple apprehension over whether or not she was going to get the job.

"Whenever you like," she assured him. "Does this mean that I've got the job?"

Wesley nodded. "As far as I'm concerned, you do. There is just one more screening process you have to go through. You'll have to sing for Lorne."

Rose, of course, knew all about Lorne and his abilities, as she did with all the members of Angel's team. But she had to pretend ignorance. She just hoped that she could avoid letting anything slip inadvertently. "Sing for Lorne?"

"Just a formality at this point," Wesley replied. "Lorne can tell about your character and intentions from hearing you sing." He smiled. "You don't even have to be able to sing well, if that's a problem." He picked up his phone and punched buttons. "Hello. Lorne? I have a new employee, do you have time to screen her right now, or shall I set up an appointment? Oh, good. We'll be there shortly." He hung up the phone. "Lorne can fit you in right now. As soon as you've passed his reading, you can start immediately, if you'd like." He stood up and offered her his hand.

Rose took his proffered hand and almost became distracted again from the feel of his warm, human flesh. So much sensory input to cope with. And this was what William wanted? But she wouldn't judge his wishes, just him. And whatever he deserved, it was not an eternity in hell.

&&&&&&

Lorne hung up his phone with a sigh. Another applicant screening. He sincerely hoped that she actually had a voice. He had had to listen to so many tone-deaf people since coming to Wolfram and Hart that he was seriously considering asking Angel for a bonus for having to put himself through such torture. Since she was going to be working for Wesley, if she earned his seal of approval, he expected a mousy bookish type with glasses, probably. Something along the lines of Fred. And when Wesley entered the office with her, he had to concede that she certainly dressed the part, except that she didn't have glasses. But she was.., lovely. Her hair was screwed up into a bun at the nape of her neck, so all that he could really tell about it was that it was an indeterminate, but pretty, shade that bordered between brown and red. A neat, compact figure and soft gray eyes that regarded him without question or fear. Too much of a good thing, he feared. She probably had a voice like fingernails on a blackboard.

"Lorne, this is Rose. Rose, all you have to do is sing something for Lorne, and then we'll be all wrapped up here." Wesley finished and took a seat off to the side, leaving Rose standing in front of Lorne's desk.

"What should I sing?" Well, thought Lorne, she had a nice speaking voice. But he well knew that that was no guarantee that she could carry a tune.

"Anything you like, darling." Lorne lounged back in his seat. "It doesn't matter at all what you sing, just that you sing."

Rose considered the possibilities, and decided to make something up. After all, like the demon said, it didn't matter what she sang. She opened her mouth, and a soft, warm contralto voice sang a simple melody that neither Lorne nor Wesley had ever heard.

Rose's Song

The world carries on, but leaves me behind

So many things to see, but I am blind

I want to hear, to taste, to touch

I get so little but want so much

I'm a soul that's drifting

Afraid, alone

I have no direction

And can't go home

A bundle of emotions, nothing real

No evidence of senses, I can't feel

A lone, lost spirit, no place to be

What has happened? Why is it me?

I'm a soul that's drifting

Afraid, alone

I have no direction

And can't go home

I'm just marking time and watching it pass

It drifts on without me, the fickle lass

When the day is over, there's another in wait

Feel like eternity's a trap and I'm the bait

I'm a soul that's drifting

Afraid, alone

I have no direction

And can't go home

Spike had popped in, near the beginning of the song, and was about to contribute some smart-ass remark when the words of the song really caught his attention. Bloody hell, he thought, it could have been written about him. He looked at Lorne and Wesley and saw that they were moved by the words and the sweet voice singing it. Then, and only then, did Spike spare a glance for the singer. And gave a mental whistle. Dressed a little on the dowdy side, but definitely a looker. If he had a body to call his own he wouldn't mind striking up a very personal acquaintance with her.

Wesley took a moment to gather his wits. He'd never heard the song before, but it had touched him. He wondered if it had affected Lorne as well, and looked over in time to see the demon pull out a handkerchief and wipe a sentimental tear from his eye. Then he noticed the Watcher looking at him and gave a small nod. There didn't even seem to be the ordinary dark places of the soul that all people, no matter how good they are have. It didn't occur to Lorne that this was something of note. All that mattered was that she wasn't evil and had therefore passed the test.

Wesley stood and offered Rose his hand. "Welcome to Wolfram and Hart, Rose." For the first time, he noticed that Spike was there. Odd, Spike generally made a point of calling attention to himself. But the blonde vampire's shade merely stood there, looking at the new employee with an unfathomable expression on his face.

Lorne followed the direction of Wesley's gaze. "Spike, what brings you here?"

The specter shrugged. "Just bored. As usual. Looking to see if anything's happening." He turned to Rose. "I'd kiss your hand if I could, luv. If I still had a heart you'd have touched it." Then, as suddenly as he'd arrived, he disappeared again.

Rose looked inquiringly at Wesley. "Was that a.., a ghost?" Of course, she knew better, but she had a part to play and it was essential that she play it well.

"It's a little more complicated than that, I'm afraid," he replied. "But not to worry, Spike's perfectly harmless."

"I wasn't afraid," she assured him, "just curious. Is he always like that? Just appearing and making cryptic remarks then leaving?"

"Rosebud, that was Spike on his best behavior," Lorne interjected. "And if I'm not mistaken, I think our resident spook has taken a fancy to you."

She felt her face go all hot and flushed and wondered if she had been given a defective body. What was happening to it?

"Stop it, Lorne," Wesley chided gently. "I think you're embarrassing her." He turned to Rose and gestured to the door. "How about we start with the grand tour? We won't have time to see everything there is here, but I can take you through all the places you're likely to need to go. And to introduce you to the rest of the team."

Rose looked puzzled. "But this place is crawling with people. Surely you aren't going to introduce me to them all?"

Wesley shook his head, but he was smiling. "Just a small, select group that forms, shall we say, the soul? of Wolfram and Hart."

As they headed out the door, Lorne had one more thing to add. "If you ever get tired of all that dusty research, sweetie, I could make you an overnight star with that voice."

&&&&&&

Spike hadn't actually gone anywhere, just gone invisible, one of the few advantages of his current situation. He felt like a total ass, having blurted out something so personal. But he wanted to see what was going on with this Rose person, so he followed her and the Watcher along as they made the rounds.

Their first stop was the research lab, where Rose was introduced to a distracted Fred. It wasn't that Fred wasn't friendly, it was just that when she was in the middle of something, she was so absorbed that it was difficult to get her attention. It would take another major apocalypse to get her full attention.

Then, on to Gunn's office. Spike felt a twinge of envy when the newly made lawyer actually did kiss Rose's hand. He'd never seen that sort of gallantry from him before, and it galled him that Gunn was able to do what he could only think about. Lucky bastard.

And finally, up to Angel's office. As the pair waited for admission, he saw Harm shoot Rose a glare that was pure poison. He chuckled silently. Evidently his ex didn't think well of having another pretty face around. And then they were ushered into the presence of the big man himself.

"Angel, this is Rose, my new research assistant." Wesley performed the introduction, then waited to see how they would interact with each other. Always observing every little thing. A curse, or blessing, depending on your point of view, of a watcher's training.

"Hello, Rose." Angel came towards her and took her hand. His touch lingered slightly, and Spike was left with the impression that his old, despised friend was considering kissing her hand as well. What was going on that all the males in the place had suddenly come over so gallant? Or was it the bloody Powers just adding to his torment? As if he didn't have that in ample supply.

"Pleased to meet you, Angel," she returned shyly. So this was the infamous Angelus. She studied his face for a moment. Angel, noticing her scrutiny, gave her a warm smile. She returned the smile a little nervously. So different from Wesley's the hand that the vampire had given her. So cold, where the Watcher's was warm. She decided that a human being would notice the difference as well. "Excuse me for mentioning it, but why is your hand so cold?"

A pained expression crossed Angel's face. Usually, people were too unnerved to mention it, which gave him the opportunity to ignore it. "I'm a vampire," he said, the tension obvious in his voice. Then, he controlled himself and tried to reassure her. "But I won't bite."

"Angel has a soul, Rose," Wesley explained. "You're completely safe around him." He glanced at his watch and saw that it was getting quite late. "Why don't we call this the end of your orientation? Go home, get a good night's sleep, and I'll see you first thing in the morning. Does that suit?"

Rose smiled at him. "It sounds fine. And home is a bit of a walk to get to." The rest of The Powers had even provided her with humble lodgings to suit her human existence. But transportation was up to her.

Vampire and Watcher exchanged glances. It would be dark soon, and they both knew what sort of dangerous things moved around the city after dark, both human and not human.

"It's getting late, Rose," Angel observed. "Why don't I drive you home?"

"I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble," she demurred. "I really don't mind walking."

Angel smiled again. "It's no trouble. You'll be safer with me than walking. Wesley may be your division head, but I'm technically your boss. And I want to see you safely home so that you'll be in one piece to get to work on time."

"If you'd really like to, then thank you," she replied.

"I'd really like to," Angel said. "Was there anything else you needed to say to her, Wes?"

The Watcher shook his head. "Nothing that can't wait till tomorrow morning. Good night, Rose, Angel." He left them.

Spike almost became visible in his agitation. What was that big pouf up to now? Romancing the employees wasn't his style. He decided to go along for the ride. Nothing else to do anyway.

Angel led Rose down to the parking garage and after a quick assessment of his new employee decided to go with one of the more conservative models in the not so modest fleet of cars that he now had access to. And he'd better mind his driving, she struck him as the slightly timid type. No grandstanding. He suppressed a totally unnecessary sigh. A couple of centuries of being nearly invulnerable had made a reckless driver of him. It was good practice, he supposed, that he had to exercise a little caution with a human passenger. He handed her in and noted that she didn't make some feminist remark about the gentlemanly gesture. All to the good, as far as he was concerned. It was kind of nice to meet a lady who acted like a lady and accepted the courtesies due her.

Spike had already installed himself in the back seat, keeping a sharp eye on his nancy-boy grandsire. Angel was acting like he was taking the girl home at the end of a date instead of giving the hired help a lift. His gaze drifted back to Rose. Where had she learned that song? And how had she happened to pick on that one to sing just as he showed up? He was intrigued by the new research assistant. He'd be hanging around her quite a bit, at least until he figured out what made her tick.

The trip to Rose's apartment went without hitch, and the only words exchanged between her and Angel had been the asking for, and giving of, directions. Peaches even insisted on seeing her to her door, but left immediately after she was safely inside. But Spike was still curious. One thing about being a disembodied spook, he didn't have to wait to be invited in. He followed her.

The apartment was Spartan in the extreme. The furnishings were so worn, that Spike suspected that they had come with the place. It struck him as odd that there was no stamp of the occupant's personality on anything. No little homey touches, no pictures or photos. Hell, she didn't even have a telly.

Rose wondered what a human would do now, when a pang in her midsection reminded her that people needed to eat. She hadn't done that yet since arriving. It struck her as a waste of time, almost, but not quite as bad as having to sleep. But the body she was in was completely human, so she had better feed it. She went to the tiny kitchen area and scanned the contents of the fridge and cupboards. It was all well stocked, her colleagues had seen to that, since this was actually her first time here. She wondered that they had bothered. Surely what she ate was going to be the least of her worries. She looked at the food suspiciously. She hadn't the slightest idea of what or how much to eat. Finally, she settled on a pizza from the freezer, and managed to follow the directions for heating it up. She remembered enough to use an oven mitt to remove the hot pan from the oven, but then forgot about how hot it was when she sank her teeth into it for her first bite, and scorched the inside of her mouth.

She spit out the cause of her pain, and quickly ran a glass of cold water which she drank down entirely. That was better. She looked back at her food. How was she supposed to eat that? It hurt.

Spike shimmered into view, an amused smirk on his face. "You're supposed to let it cool down a bit first, luv."


	2. By Any Other Name

16

Rose looked up with a start. "W.., Spike, how did you get here?" She mentally cursed herself for almost slipping on the name. She hadn't been told, and therefore shouldn't know.

Spike made a show of leaning against the kitchen counter, and pure show it was too, without a body. But a fellow did like to keep up appearances. "Rode along with you and Angel, pet. Wanted to talk to you without an audience."

Her eyes were saucers. "You were in the car? But I didn't see you. And I don't think Angel did either, or I'm sure he would have said something."

He shrugged. "I don't have to be visible to be somewhere. And just by way of warning, don't go falling for Mr. Broody. I know a lot of women fall for the perpetual scowl and the weight of the world on his shoulders attitude, but he'd break your heart."

She bristled visibly. "I did not come to Wolfram and Hart to 'fall for' somebody," she frosted. "Besides, I'm sure that Angel is too professional to become involved with the staff." A puzzled look replaced the ticked off one. "Surely you didn't come here to tell me that, did you?"

"No." He sat at the table across from her. He nodded at her uneaten meal. "I'm sure your dinner's cool enough to eat now. Don't let me stop you."

Spike still hadn't come to the point yet, but Rose figured he probably would when he was good and ready. She really had gone right off eating the pizza, but the empty feeling in her stomach demanded something, and she didn't feel up to any more experimenting with food tonight. She cut off a tiny piece and cautiously tasted it. It was a more bearable temperature now, but the mixture of all the tastes.., it was strange, it was chaotic, it was.., good.

Spike laughed at her. "Never saw anyone eat pizza with a knife and fork before. Still to each his own, I guess. Never had it before?"

She gave him a smile that was half nerves and half response to his laughter. "It shows?"

"You've got dimples," he observed softly. "You ever wear your hair down?"

She put down her utensils and returned his gaze. He was very pretty, if you liked the type, and it surprised her to find out that she did. She gave herself a mental scolding. She wasn't here to entertain herself or allow herself to be distracted. She was just here to do a job. And here was William.., Spike, she corrected herself, making it easier for her by allowing her to interact with him and get to know him.

"Hello." Spike was waving his hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention. "You know, it's very bad for a fellow's ego when you go off on a little mental excursion like that in the middle of a conversation."

"Sorry," she apologized. "It's been a rather eventful day, I guess I've just taken in so much that my brain's on overload."

"I'll accept your apology on one condition, pet." He stood up and walked around her. "Hold still and be quiet for a minute, if you don't mind. I need to concentrate."

She wondered what he was up to, when she felt a gentle touch at the back of her head. She held still, while Spike, concentrating for all he was worth, removed the pins from her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders in silky waves.

He returned to his seat. "Much better," he said approvingly. "Very easy on the eyes. Still, I suppose you want to know what I came here about." Seeing her answering nod, he went on. "I heard you singing in Lorne's office. Where did you learn that song?"

"I don't remember," she fibbed. "It just sort of popped into my head. Is it really that important?"

Spike looked crestfallen. "I guess not," he muttered. "I was just really curious about it, that's all. Since it sounded like it could have been written about me." He looked down at the table top as if suddenly embarrassed to look at her. "Guess it really doesn't bloody well matter at all. Kind of like me." He faded from view.

"Spike, wait. Come back." Either he didn't want to be seen, or had actually gone. Rose had no way of telling. But she could still hear the pain in his voice when he had said that he didn't matter.

&&&&&&

A week later, and Rose was feeling much more comfortable with her human body and dealing with its needs. And she was also fitting quite well into her new job. But what was frustrating was that she hadn't seen Spike once since that first night when he had shown up at her apartment. There was the odd occasion when she had the feeling that she was being watched, but fear of getting a reputation for talking to herself had kept her from trying to coax him to appear. If, indeed he had actually been there. Then, there was the little matter of finding out what other people thought about Spike. It was difficult to introduce the subject without giving anything away, or worse sounding like she was infatuated with him. It was starting to dawn on her that people seldom brought up the subject unless Spike was present. Well, it wasn't as if she had a deadline, but it would be nice to be able to make some progress. Suddenly, she got that feeling again, that she wasn't alone in the room. How to draw William out now. Then, a thought occurred to her, and she started singing, just like someone would in a good mood and didn't even really realize they were doing it. "Gay is the garland and fresh are the roses, I'm picking in the garden to bind on thy brow. Oh, don't deceive me. Oh never leave me. How could you treat a poor maiden so?"

Spike appeared, with a pained expression on his face. "Could you please not sing that particular song, luv. It has a few.., painful associations for me."

Rose made a show of acting surprised. "Hello, Spike. Where have you been? I was starting to think I had offended you or something."

He immediately reverted to type. "I've been around and about. Not much of a one for staying in one place too long," he lied. He noticed she was still gazing at him with a question in her eyes. "You didn't offend me, pet. Just didn't want to wear out my welcome."

"From what I've heard about you, that hasn't been a concern of yours of late," she remarked. "Wesley says you drive Angel half-insane."

"Only half?" Spike sounded offended now. "Damn. I definitely need to try harder." He gave her a grin, and when she realized that he had been joking, she returned it. "So, what's the Watcher got you doing?"

"Checking translations against the original texts," she explained. "You wouldn't believe some of the errors that no one caught. Especially on the ones that have several translations and each one gets farther and farther from the original..," She stopped, seeing his eyes grow distant. "Oh, I guess that's kind of boring, isn't it?"

"A bit." He quirked an eyebrow at her. "See you took my advice about your hair. It's very pretty."

She blushed crimson. At least now she knew it for what it was, but she wished she didn't do it so readily.

Wesley walked in. "Rose, do you have that report for me?" Then he noticed that she wasn't alone in the room. "Oh, hello, Spike." He turned back to Rose. "He's not bothering you, is he?"

"No, he's no bother," she answered. "Here's your report, sir. I'm back five translations now, and I think there are still two or three to go."

Wesley nodded distractedly, flipping through the papers in his hands. "Yes, thank you, Rose. You're doing excellent work, keep it up." And as abruptly as he had come in, he left.

Spike made a rude gesture at Wesley's retreating back. "Once a watcher always a watcher," he muttered. "Stupid git. So, tell me, pet, what do you do when you're not translating dusty old reference books for Mr. Personality there?"

"Not much of anything, really," she admitted. Inspiration struck. "I'm kind of new in town." Well, that certainly wasn't a lie. "I really don't know my way around much."

"And you're not going to find your way around if you divide up your time between work and holing up in your apartment," Spike remarked. "Don't you ever go out at all?"

"I don't like to go out alone," Rose mumbled.

"Don't like going out among the bright lights and beautiful people all alone, but walk right through the heart of the vampire ghetto on your way home every night," he observed, sitting on her desk next to her computer terminal. "Weirder still, is that not a single vamp has scented you. By rights you ought to have been someone's dinner by now, pet."

Rose felt panicked. She didn't know what was worse, the fact that he had been watching her or what he had seen. "You've been following me home?"

"Someone's got to keep an eye on you," he muttered, seeming to be embarrassed. He straightened and looked her in the eye. "You want watching, luv. And no one else seems to be interested in the job."

"You were trying to protect me?" She found that she was touched by the futile, but considerate gesture. "I'm just a lowly research assistant. Why should you bother?"

Spike shook his head. "I'm not quite sure exactly what you are, sweetheart, but there's more to you than just being a researcher. I'm kind of interested in finding out what it is. And if you really want to know why I bother, luv, look in a mirror." He vanished again.

&&&&&&

Angel finished putting his signature on the last of what seemed to be a mile-high stack of paperwork that Harmony had dumped on his desk. God, he hated all the paperwork. It had been so much easier when he had just gone out looking for trouble and found it. Now it seemed there were a dozen different forms to fill out for every time he left his office. He got up and went to the window and just stood there for several minutes, seeing the city begin to light up as night fell, he could almost imagine he could hear the beating of all the hearts of all the people in L.A. He turned back and saw Spike, sitting in his chair. He hated that worst of all.

"What do you want, Spike?" They never bothered with polite phrases between them. They went back too far for that.

And he was tired. But when Spike started to look, if he didn't know better, he'd say embarrassed, he began to get interested.

"Wanted to ask a favor." No wonder Spike was uncomfortable. Angel knew he was the last person on the face of the earth that Spike would want to ask for a favor.

"I'm listening." Just because Angel understood didn't mean that he was going to make things any easier for Spike.

"Well, a couple of things, really," Spike elaborated. "First, can you arrange for someone to drive Rose home from work? I've been following her..," He didn't get any farther, because Angel interrupted.

"You've been following her? Or stalking her?" The pouf's face was a sight to see, and normally, Spike would have delighted in giving Angel a fit, but he had other things on his mind right now.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist," Spike advised. "If you were human you'd probably give yourself a stroke. Yeah, I've been following her. And every night she walks right through the most vamp-infested part of town. Still don't know why they haven't noticed her yet. But sooner or later one will. Then Wolfram and Hart will be down one research assistant. I wouldn't of asked, except..," He broke off and made a helpless gesture.

Angel's jaw dropped. "She walks through..," His brain seemed to disconnect. After a few moments, it reconnected, and he checked the time. "Probably too late tonight, unless she's working late, she's already gone."

Spike looked at Angel in disgust. "Not like you couldn't get your nancy-boy ass into one of your fancy toys and pick her up on the way." He got out of Angel's chair, which he had been sitting in only because he knew it pissed his grandsire off. "C'mon, Angel. I know which way she goes. Hasn't varied the route yet."

Angel followed Spike down to the parking garage. "Why are you so interested in her? I mean, she's not bad looking, I'll grant you, but there are plenty of attractive women on staff here, so why her in particular?"

"Later." Spike put Angel off with a pained expression on his face. "There was another part of the favor," he reminded the vampire as they got into the car.

"I can hardly wait," Angel muttered, starting the car. "Well, don't keep me in suspense, Spike. What else do you want? Gonna ask for the car keys? Might I remind you that if that's the case, you can't drive."

"That's why I'm riding shotgun." Spike was at his most flip, but the remark had rankled. "Listen, just forget it. Forget the whole bloody thing."

"No, really, I'm sorry, Spike." Angel didn't care for Spike's attitude or, pretty much everything about him, but that last observation had been hitting below the belt. As they stopped at a red light, he looked Spike in the eye. "Tell me, please."

"It's green now, Angel," Spike said unnecessarily as the car behind them started honking its horn. Spike stuck his hand through the window to flip them off, and Angel couldn't stop himself from laughing. One constant in an ever changing universe, Spike being a smart-ass.

Angel turned his attention back to the street in front of him. "What were you going to ask me, Spike?" He was really curious now.

"Left here," Spike directed. "It's not important, Angel. Not like this."

"It's important to you," Angel remarked. "Or else you wouldn't have come to me in the first place. I know that asking me for a favor doesn't come easily to you."

"Damn well doesn't," Spike agreed sulkily. "If you're really interested, I wanted.., I do want.., oh hell, I need some money."

"Money?" Angel was beyond stunned. "Did I hear you say that you wanted some money?"

"Yeah, s'right. A bit of lolly." Spike broadened out his accent. " So, what do you say, dad? Have I been a good enough boy to get my allowance?" Having got past the painful part, Spike was back in form.

"What possible use could you have for money?" Angel couldn't manage to work that one out on his own. "You don't eat, drink, or even smoke anymore. You don't need clothes or money for rent. What in the hell do you need that money can buy?"

Spike slouched down in the seat. He was starting to look embarrassed again. "Want to show a lady a good time, a night on the town. Need a bit of the green to do that." He sat up abruptly. "There she is. Pull over."

Angel steered the car to the curb just a few feet in front of Rose, but Spike didn't wait for him, opting to jump out through the door before the car had come to a full stop.

"Hello, Rose." Spike tried to be nonchalant, as if their meeting were entirely a chance encounter. "Care for a lift?"

Rose had nearly dropped the stack of books she was taking home when Spike ghosted right through the door of the moving car. She stood there with her mouth open and her heart pounding so loudly Angel heard it before he got out of the car.

"Rose?" Angel took the books from her unresisting hands. "You really shouldn't be walking around here after dark, it's way too dangerous."

"Nothing's happened to me," she said defensively. "I haven't had a bit of trouble yet."

"The operative word in that sentence is yet, luv," Spike remarked. "You have been incredibly lucky to date. But if there's one thing I've learned, never trust on the good luck to hold out. So why don't you be a good girl and let the nice man give you a ride?"

Rose looked from vampire to specter in confusion. Spike had said he'd been following her, but evidently he had thought that his protection wasn't enough. "I take it that an answer of no isn't an option?"

"Not even close," Angel agreed. He opened the front passenger door for her then handed in the books once she had gotten seated. He left Spike strictly to his own devices. And, he could sit in the back seat.

Spike had other ideas. When Angel took his place behind the wheel, there was Spike, sitting in the middle of the front seat looking immensely pleased with himself.

Once Angel had gotten back into the flow of traffic, he started talking to Rose as if Spike weren't sitting between them. "You're not taking your work home with you, are you, Rose?"

Rose flushed and clutched the books to herself. "It's not like I really have much of anything else to do," she admitted sheepishly. She shrugged. "It keeps me harmlessly occupied and out of trouble."

Angel was about to reply when a scream split the air. He slammed on the brakes and spun the car half-way up an alley. There they saw a couple of vampires apparently arguing over a human. They were practically playing tug of war with her. Angel was out of the car and running towards them at break neck speed.

"This shouldn't take long," Spike remarked, putting his arm up on the back of the seat behind Rose.

"Shouldn't we be helping or something?" Rose asked. She couldn't really see that either one of them could be of any assistance to Angel, but she felt awkward just sitting here while he ran full tilt into danger.

"For only two of them?" Spike laughed. "The pouf don't need any help for them." He leaned towards her. "You know, if it wasn't for me being so insubstantial and all, you and me could be having a bit of a canoodle right now."

"A what?" Rose had a fairly comprehensive vocabulary, but most slang went right on by her. But if she didn't know better, she could swear that the ghost of the vampire was making romantic overtures to her. "Wait a minute, if you were corporeal, wouldn't you be out there helping Angel?"

Spike flopped back in the seat with a groan. "Yeah , yeah, playing the hero and all that. Practically a conditioned reflex now, it is. But right now, I can't do damn all. Can't eat, drink , smoke or kiss a pretty girl. Or even, apparently, get it through to the girl in question that I'd like to..," He was interrupted by Angel's return. "Sodding hell. You always did have the lousiest timing, Angel."

"And you have a mouth like a sewer," Angel returned amiably. "Mind watching the language in front of a lady, Spike? You can cuss me out after we've dropped her off."

"Don't think I won't," Spike warned. "I think I've covered myself with glory enough for one night. What say I just meet you back at your digs when you get done with your little errand here?" And without waiting for Angel to reply, he was gone.

Angel shook his head, wondering what had gotten into Spike now. Well, he was sure he'd find out when he got back home. After, of course, Spike called him every name he could think of.

As Angel walked up the stairs with Rose to her apartment he decided to do something about the situation to prevent a repeat of tonight's performance.

"Listen, Rose. From now on, there'll be a company driver to take you home every night," he began. "You just saw tonight how foolish it is for an unprotected person to be walking through that neighborhood after dark."

"But..," Rose started to protest. Angel didn't let her finish.

"Consider it part of the terms of your employment," he suggested. "I don't want to wind up in the position of having to stake one of my own staff some night."

"All right," she conceded. As they got to the door of her apartment, she remembered something. "Angel, what does canoodle mean?"


	3. In the Company of Vampires

22

Rose leaned back against the door to the apartment, face aflame. Apparently she hadn't known better, Spike had been making overtures. This would never do, she wasn't here to have a romantic encounter. And surely it would be lacking in ethics to become attached to the one she had come here to study. Her thoughts drifted back to those few moments in the car, till she could practically hear his voice again, the tones both wheedling and wistful. She couldn't suppress a little glow. He really did like her.

&&&&&&

Angel strode into his apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. "Spike!" He took off his suit jacket and threw it across a chair, then looked around. No sign of Spike. "Dammit, Spike, you said you'd be here," Angel growled to the empty rooms. "Just one time it would be nice..,"

"What are you carrying on about now?" Spike appeared, negligently draped across Angel's favorite chair.

Angel glared at him. "I wish you had a body," he said out of the blue. "Just for ten minutes, I really wish you had a body." Seeing that Spike was about to jump in, with a smart-ass remark, no doubt, he added, "so I could beat the crap out of you."

"You, beat the crap outta me?" Spike hooted. "That'll be the day." Then, his curiosity got the better of him. "What for?"

Angel flung himself tiredly down on the sofa. "For giving me what had to be just about the most embarrassing five minutes that I've had in the last century," he explained. He gave Spike a long, thoughtful look, then, surprisingly, burst out laughing. "Canoodle?"

Spike put a hand over his eyes. Was there any way it could possibly get worse? "Nice to see that I could provide a little comic relief," he sulked. "Oh, and by the way, I love the mood swings. You got PMS?"

Angel tried to sober up, almost made it, then went off on another laughing jag. When he finally wound down, he was wiping tears out of his eyes. "Damn, I don't think I've laughed that hard since..,"

"Forever," Spike broke in. He really wanted to put these past few moments behind him. "So, you're here, I'm here," he stated unnecessarily. "Am I gonna get what I asked for?"

Angel got all thoughtful again. "I think you owe me a story, first," he reflected. "At the time, you said, 'later'. Well, it's later now."

Spike sat up. "I take it you're going to insist before relinquishing custody of any pretty little bits of paper?"

"Something like that," Angel conceded. "When was the last time you got so protective with someone? Dawn, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, the Bit's like me own sister," Spike agreed.

"But you're not feeling brotherly towards Rose," the dark-haired vamp pointed out.

"I can't explain it," Spike confessed. "But from day one I've just felt, drawn to her. Ever since I heard her sing."

"She must be one hell of a singer," Angel commented.

"It wasn't how she sang," Spike elaborated. "Though she does have a pretty voice. It was what she sang. I never heard the song before, but..," He broke off, not sure how to go on.

"But what?" Angel sat up. This was getting interesting.

"Sounds crazy," Spike replied. "But it sounded like it was about a disembodied soul. Like it was about..,"

"You," Angel interrupted. "I'll be damned."

"That makes two of us," the peroxide blonde quipped. "So, are you gonna blow the dust off your wallet, or what?"

"Look, Spike, the money isn't a problem." Angel sighed. "First off, how are the two of you going to get around? You can't drive, and she doesn't even have a license."

"She doesn't?" Spike's eyebrows shot up. "How do you know?"

"It's in her personnel file," Angel explained. "Then there's the matter of how you're going to hang on to the money if I give it to you. Put it in your pocket?"

Spike winced. He'd kind of forgotten that his clothes were as insubstantial as he was. "Balls."

"Last but not least," Angel pressed on. "What exactly are you planning on doing? Watch her eat, drink, dance with other guys? Sounds like a fun night."

"I'd like to take her dancing," Spike said wistfully. "She'd make a cozy little armful. But she needs to get out, Angel. You saw her tonight. Carrying home a pile of books to do more research for the Watcher. You been in her place yet?"

"No," Angel admitted. "I just drop her off at the door. That reminds me." He grabbed a piece of paper and pen and began jotting something down. When he finished, he saw Spike giving him a quizzical look. "Just a reminder to myself to assign her a driver," he explained. Then it sank in. "You've been in her apartment?"

"First night you took her home." Spike leaned back and put his feet on the coffee table, just to watch Angel wince. "There is absolutely nothing of her there, Angel. The furniture looks like it's been there long enough to grow roots. No pictures, no books. Not even a telly or radio. Place has all the charm of a room in a cheap doss house."

Angel glanced around the luxuriously appointed apartment. Even he had a few personal mementos here and there. "Sounds like she does need to get out," he conceded. He gave up. "I'll take you."

"You'll what?" Spike sat bolt upright, a picture of shock.

"I'll drive the car, pay our way, everything," Angel elaborated. "You can call the shots as to where we go and what we do, but the only way we're going to be able to make this work is if it is a threesome."

Spike suddenly felt like a teenager whose mum had insisted on driving him to the prom. "Shit."

&&&&&&

Angel was trapped in his office again, a slave to paperwork, when Harmony came clicking in, her heels tapping out a brisk tattoo on the floor.

"What is this?" she demanded, throwing a piece of paper in front of him.

Angel glanced at it and saw it was the note he'd written the night before. "I thought it was pretty self-explanatory."

"She's just a research assistant, she's only been here a week, and she gets chauffeured in a company car?" Harmony fumed. "I'm your assistant and I still have to drive myself."

Angel considered the possibilities of explaining it to Harmony. A quick assessment of the situation told him that there was no way he was going to be able to put it without aggravating his assistant further, especially if Harm found out where the request had originated. He sneaked a peek at her and saw her eyes go yellow, then, her demon came out. No way to be nice about it now. "In case it escaped your notice, Harmony, I don't need your permission to make a decision. You just carry out orders. Unless, of course, you want to go back to the secretarial pool." As she started to leave, he added, "And you might want to fix your face."

She looked puzzled, then put a hand to her face and realized what she'd done. She turned and ran out of the room.

Angel picked up his phone and dialed Wesley's extension. "Wes? Could you pass on a message for me? Tell Rose that if there isn't a car waiting to take her home tonight, she's to come straight to my office and not try walking, okay? Thanks."

That taken care of, Angel went back to his paperwork.

&&&&&&

Wesley walked into Rose's office. She looked up from her computer. "I'm sorry, Wesley, I don't have the latest translation done yet. It's going kind of slow. Part of the text is nearly illegible."

"No hurry," he assured her. "Actually, I came here to deliver a message from Angel. He said that if there isn't a car waiting to take you home that you're to go to his office. What's that all about?"

"I don't think he likes the idea of me walking home," she mumbled. "He wouldn't have even known about it if Spike hadn't told him."

Now, Wesley's curiosity was piqued. "Spike told Angel that you were walking home? Why?"

"He called the neighborhood I walk through the 'vampire ghetto'," she replied. "Now they're both coming over all protective. They're afraid I'll get bitten. Especially after last night."

Wes parked his backside on the edge of her desk. "Go on."

"They picked me up on the way home last night," she said with a sigh. "And we had to make a stop on the way so Angel could rescue a woman from a couple of vampires."

"And you've been walking that way every night?" The Watcher was aghast. "You're lucky to be alive, Rose." He grew reflective for a moment. "And you say that Spike was concerned for your safety?"

She shrugged. "I guess so." She knew so, but wasn't going to go as far to admit it. Especially if she could find a way to draw Wesley out and find out what he thought of Spike. "I take it that's unusual?"

He considered. "Well, he did save Fred's life, and in doing so gave up a one shot chance at being corporeal again. I guess most of us are just so used to seeing him making jokes and being a nuisance that we don't always see the full picture."

"Since working here, I've.., heard things," Rose said, then just decided to flat out ask. "Wesley, do you think that Spike deserves to go to hell?"

"Well, he did do some pretty terrible things as a soulless vampire," Wesley mused.

"As I'm sure Angel did," she pointed out. "It was a simple yes or no question. It's not an exam or anything, just your honest opinion. Do you think Spike deserves to go to hell?"

"Well, if it were up to me, I guess I'd say, no," Wes admitted. "Unfortunately for Spike, it's not up to me." He got up. "Well there's still work to be done. See you later, Rose. And no more walking home."

&&&&&&

Rose was on her way out when she bumped into Lorne.

"Hello, Rosebud," the demon schmoozed. "When are you going to give up the research and pursue your true calling, doll? I could have recording execs in fistfights over you with that voice."

Rose blushed. "Stop teasing, Lorne. I'm perfectly content the way I am."

"I'm not teasing, cuddlebunny," Lorne protested. "You have got it. It seems a cryin' shame to waste it all cooped up with a bunch of dry old books."

"I feel like I'm useful here," Rose demurred. "I can't imagine feeling that way just for singing."

"Don't underestimate the power of music, darlin'." Lorne was serious now. "You could end more people's troubles just by singing to them than you'll ever be able to if you work for Wes for a hundred years."

"The Watcher won't like it if you steal his pet assistant away from him," a familiar voice warned. They turned to see Spike standing behind them. "Hullo, luv. Best you shake a leg, your car's waiting."

"And you're here to make sure I get in it, are you?" Rose queried.

"Am I missing something here?" Lorne was mystified.

"Usually." Spike smirked at him. "But not to worry your little green head, Lorne. I'm sure it will all come to you in time." He turned his gaze back to Rose. "C'mon, pet. Tempus fugit, and all that."

And they walked away leaving Lorne staring at their backs and shaking his head.

&&&&&&

Spike disappeared somewhere along the way to the parking garage, and Rose thought she'd seen the last of him for the day. She found she was mistaken after the stone-faced driver handed her into the car. Spike was sitting there waiting for her.

"Bringing your work home again?" Spike glanced at the books she was carrying. "You really do need to get a life."

"But I have a life," she protested. "I have a job, and a home, and.., and," she looked at Spike and added softly, "friends. What more do you think I need?"

Spike had started looking disgusted, but the look had softened considerably when she had pronounced him her friend. "Rose," he started, a lot more gently than he had intended. "It's still not much of a life. There's a lot more out there than Wolfram and Hart. When was the last time you went out of an evening and just had fun?"

"Fun?" Rose hedged. "Can't I have fun doing what I'm good at?"

"You're not answering my question," Spike scolded softly. "Which is in itself an answer. What are you afraid of, Rose?"

"I'm not afraid," she mumbled, looking away from him. "Maybe I'm just not interested in.., in..,"

"Enjoying yourself?" he suggested. "Having a good time?" His voice dropped to a near whisper. "Or maybe it's just me."

Rose looked back at him, looked him in the eye. "I'm not afraid of you, Spike."

"Then you'll go out with me tomorrow night?" It was Spike's turn to drop his gaze. He felt like a right nit. The Big Bad all flustered because a girl might refuse to go on a date with him. He was glad that Angel couldn't see him now.

"You want me to go out with you?" She was acting like he'd spoken in a foreign language that she didn't quite understand.

Spike cocked his head to one side. "Can't be the first time a bloke's asked you out, pet. Do you always keep a man waiting for an answer?"

She looked confused, and looking down at herself reminded her of something. "I don't suppose that this," she indicated her clothes with a wave of her hand, "would be suitable?"

He shook his head. "Don't you have anything pretty tucked away somewhere? I don't think I've ever met a woman with less vanity than you." He got a wicked grin. "What say we take a little detour before getting to your place?"

"What kind of detour?" She looked a little shocked. "Besides, it's a company car, do you think we should?"

"Ta." He waved his hand in a languid gesture. "Bugger the company. We're going shopping, luv. We're going to get you all togged out, and when we're done, every male at Wolfram and Hart is going to be fallin' down at your feet."

"But..," Rose started, but Spike had already stuck his head up into the front and was giving the driver new instructions.

&&&&&&&

Angel sat back and put his feet up. It had been a long day, and he felt more exhausted than he would have if he had spent the whole day wrestling with demons. And he seriously doubted that it was over yet. Now that he had one quiet, tranquil moment alone, he figured that Spike would be showing up soon. For the annoyance value, if for no other reason. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes for a moment.

"You're supposed to sleep in the bed, you silly git." There were times when Spike was incredibly predictable. "'Sides, I wanted to tell you that we're all set for tomorrow night."

Angel sat up and looked at the time. "What have you been doing all this time? Rose went home hours ago."

"Well, not exactly." Without being asked, Spike made himself at home. "Took her out shopping for some decent clothes. Couldn't take her out looking like she's been dressed by the Salvation Army." He grinned. "Had to do some fast talking on a couple of those outfits. But she looked absolutely smashing in 'em."

Angel grinned back in spite of himself. "You always could pile on the blarney, boyo." His long-lost Irish brogue came out for some air. "I don't suppose you even gave her a chance to say no?"

"Course not," Spike scoffed. "Not to mention which, she really didn't want to say no. I can be pretty damn charming when I want to be."

"Just not around me," Angel observed, throwing a pillow through Spike.

"That goes without saying." Spike gave Angel a smirk. "You are going to let me do the talking tomorrow, aren't you?"

"I'll only speak when spoken to," Angel said solemnly, then spoiled it with a wink.

"Oh hell."


	4. Another Day, Another Demon

29

Rose got up the next morning as usual. Took her shower, as usual. Got dressed, also as usual. Left her bedroom and saw Spike sitting there waiting for her. Definitely not usual.

Spike was frowning. "Why aren't you wearing some of your new stuff, pet? You've got several outfits, can't wear 'em all tonight."

Rose's eyes grew round. "I don't think they're exactly.., suitable for work, Spike."

"Bull," Spike said derisively. "I've seen Harm flouncing round the office in things that would make your stuff look downright conservative." He looked at the clock. "You've got time to change, luv. I want to see the effect you have on all those suits when you're wearing something pretty."

She looked at him in exasperation, and Spike stared coolly back at her. "You're awfully bossy," she said sulkily, going back into the bedroom, and not exactly slamming the door shut, but using enough force to get the point across that she was less than pleased.

A while later, she re-emerged, wearing a skin-tight knit shirt of a vibrant yellow that brought out the red tones in her hair, teamed up with a black skirt with flowers the same yellow as her shirt. Spike gave a wolf whistle. Rose ignored him, and began gathering up her things.

"Not even eating breakfast?" Spike inquired, hovering close to her. He didn't like being ignored in general, and he really didn't like being ignored by her.

"I don't have enough time," she snapped. "Thanks to getting dressed twice, I now have a mile and a half to walk in about thirty minutes. If I don't get held up waiting for traffic too often, I might just make it."

Spike smirked. "No hurry, precious. Your transportation is for the round trip. Car won't even be here for about ten minutes."

She spun around to look at him. "I understood that I was just being driven home. For reasons of safety. Surely it's not a problem if I walk to work?"

"Vampires aren't the only nasties out there, sweetheart," Spike observed. "And there are plenty of them that go out in broad daylight." He looked her up and down carefully. "Not to mention having to fend off passes from all the lonely males you meet along the way."

Rose glanced out the front window, and saw the familiar Wolfram and Hart car. She started towards the door, making sure to shut it in Spike's face as he trailed after her. Spike, unfazed, walked right on through.

"Why are you in such a snit, pet?" He asked, catching her up. "Just because a man shows a little appreciation for a pretty lady who's dressed the part?"

"Lady?" Rose interjected. "Not very ladylike. The skirt's too short." She allowed the chauffeur to hand her into the car. Spike went right through him, and flopped down on the seat beside her.

"That skirt isn't short at all," he argued. "It goes past your knees."

"Who wants to see knees anyway?" she shot back. "Not exactly the most attractive part of the human body."

"It's not the knees, luv," Spike answered, giving her an impish look. "It's what's above them. Gets a fella's imagination going. I'll bet you have half a dozen guys ask you out today."

"No bet," Rose said firmly. "That way you won't feel compelled to cheat."

"I wouldn't cheat," he protested. "I'll admit, I'm not above a bit of cheating upon occasion, depending on what's at stake, but I couldn't treat you like that."

Her features softened a bit. "How do you always manage to talk your way around me?"

"It's a gift, luv." Spike leaned back and put his arm up behind her, a poor substitute for being able to put it around her. At least she'd stopped arguing with him. For a few tense minutes he'd been afraid that she might cancel their date.

&&&&&

Wesley walked into Rose's office with another stack of material to be translated. His normal procedure would have been to just lay the papers on the corner of her desk and leave, sometimes with a polite greeting, sometimes not. Today though., he just barely stopped himself from whistling, which would have been more than somewhat unprofessional.

"That's a new look for you, isn't it Rose?" Wesley couldn't believe what a difference it made in her appearance. He'd never noticed how pretty she was before.

"It was Spike's idea," she explained, as if it were something to be ashamed of.

"Spike?" Wes' eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline. "I didn't realize that the two of you had been spending so much time together."

"I guess he kind of likes me," she admitted shyly. "He's been hanging around me a bit. And last night he insisted on taking me shopping so that I'd have something nice to wear on our date tonight."

The Watcher's eyes bugged a little. "You have a date? With Spike?" He sat down on her desk, not sure he could trust his legs to support him any longer.

"Yes, sir," Rose said primly. "And if you don't mind my saying so, I'm not getting any work done this way."

Wesley grinned at the sudden drop in temperature. So the lady had nothing more to say. And she did have a point about getting work done. All the reorganization and the going over of translations that he had ordered had given him quite a backlog of work himself. Then he realized that he still had a report in his hands that was destined for Angel's office.

"Could you do me a favor and run this up to Angel?" he asked his assistant. "I really ought to be getting on to my own work."

"Certainly, sir." Rose got up with a sigh. "I feel like I need to stretch my legs since I'm not walking to and from work anymore."

"In that case I'll remember you when I have any interoffice errands to be run," Wesley said. "I find wrestling with the paperwork exercise enough."

&&&&&&&

"So, what's on the itinerary for tonight?" Angel asked.

"Well, first, I thought a movie," Spike said. "Something funny. She's way too serious. Hardly ever smiles, and I don't think I've ever heard her laugh." Then, he started fidgeting, as if embarrassed. "And after that, I thought maybe we could go to a karaoke bar." He carefully avoided Angel's eyes.

"Karaoke?" Angel echoed. "Why on earth would you..,"

"Because," Spike interrupted. "As you pointed out, there isn't a whole lot I can do with her. But I've still got a voice. Plus, it might be kind of fun, seeing all those blokes ogling her and knowing she's with me."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Anything else?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking of a moonlit walk on the beach," Spike replied. "I thought that would do for a first date."

"Then you're planning on taking her out again?" Angel asked. "Might I remind you that I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart. Don't push it, Spike."

"Well, it's not like I want a bloody chaperone," Spike sulked. "Believe me, I'd be more than happy to dispense with your services, grandsire. Have you got any idea how much pride I've had to swallow with this arrangement? Do you think I'd put myself through this for a one-off?"

Angel nodded thoughtfully. "We'll see. First we'd better see how tonight goes before you make future plans. Who knows? You just might piss her off so badly that she won't want to go out with you again." He ventured half a grin. "Pissing people off being one of your more obvious talents."

Spike flipped Angel the bird. "Well, she was right narked at me this morning, and didn't cancel. So I'll just keep my hopes up, if you don't mind." He thought about it a bit. "I'll keep my hopes up even if you do mind."

&&&&&&

Harmony looked up from her desk and saw that Rose person approaching. She bent down over her work again. In Harmony's mind, if anyone was to receive preferential treatment, it ought to be her, and it irritated her no end when someone else got it instead. Harmony had never gotten past the stage of thinking that the universe revolved around her. And she really didn't like Rose.

"Excuse me, Harmony," Rose stopped at the ditzy blonde vampire's desk. "Is Angel free right now? Wesley asked me to deliver this report to him."

"Reduced to running errands, are we?" Harmony felt smug. The smugness got a check when she saw how Rose was dressed. Not her usual old maid stuff. "Got a date tonight or something?" Yeah right, like that was possible.

"Actually, I do," Rose admitted, blushing. "Listen, I'd love to stick around and chat, Harmony, but I have tons of work to get done. Can I get this in to Angel?"

"Well," huffed Harmony. "If you're going to be that way about it, go right on in. See if I care."

"What did I do?" Rose wondered aloud. But Harmony pretended not to hear her. Rose shrugged and went in to Angel's office.

&&&&&&&

When Spike saw who came in, he did a fast disappearing act. He hadn't given her any details on their date, like the fact that Angel was coming along. He figured that if he kept his distance until they picked her up, then he wouldn't be put in a position to answer questions that he didn't want to answer.

"Hello, Rose." Angel stood automatically, a reflex action from generations spent when a gentleman stood when a lady entered the room. Then, he noticed what she was wearing, and gave a low whistle. "You look very nice."

"Thank you." The blush had almost died away just to spring back to life again. "Wesley sent this for you." She handed him the report.

Angel took the report and flipped through it quickly. "Damn," he muttered. "I was hoping Wes had figured out what kind of creature was killing people and taking only things like tonsils and appendixes from the bodies."

"Amalyar demon," Rose said promptly. "They're pretty stupid. They don't really mean any harm, that's why they take body parts that aren't really used. Unfortunately, it never occurs to them that in taking the parts they do, they end up killing their victims anyway."

"You're sure?" Angel looked up at her in amazement. "How did you happen to know that, and Wesley didn't?"

Rose shrugged, trying to hide the sudden feeling of panic that assaulted her. She should have kept her mouth shut, she was going to end up giving herself away. "I'm sure Wesley has run across the reference before," she replied. "I just happened to remember it, and he didn't."

Angel gave an inarticulate grunt. "Would you happen to remember how to kill one of these things?"

Rose pretended to think it over, even though the answer was at the tip of her tongue. "Killing them isn't the hard part," she informed her boss. "They're actually pretty easy to kill. No harder than a human. The hard part is catching them. They're cowards, but they're very, very fast."

"How fast?" Angel demanded. "Faster than, say, a vampire?"

"I'm not really sure," Rose admitted. "It would probably be easiest if you caught one stalking a victim. They're very single-minded. Not enough room in their heads for more than one thought at a time."

"Are they aquatic?" Angel asked. "All the bodies have been found within a half a mile of the ocean."

"Right on the mark," Rose congratulated him. "I guess that's why you're the boss."

"Don't get smart, young lady," Angel warned. "I get more than my share of that from Spike."

"Yes, sir." Rose smiled at the incongruous thought of being compared to Spike. "May I leave now? I'd like to try to leave a bare spot on my desk before I leave tonight."

"Sure, sure," Angel agreed absently. "And if you see your department head, send him up to me, will you?"

&&&&&&

Rose got to her office just as Wesley was dumping off another pile of paper. "Angel said that he wants to see you," Rose told him.

"He probably wants to ask questions that I don't have answers to," Wesley grumbled. "I haven't been able to figure out what has been killing those people, and I told him I'd need more time for the research."

"You mean about the Amalyar demon?" Rose asked. Wesley's head shot up.

"Well, I'll be damned," he said softly. "I haven't heard about one of those in years." He thought about it for a moment. "It certainly does fit the profile. At least now, I know where to do my looking. You're a treasure, Rose." He left, mumbling to himself.

'You're a treasure, Rose'. Spike mimicked the Watcher's voice in the privacy of his own head, as he stood invisibly by, watching. Bloody stupid git.

&&&&&&

The day felt like it was over before it had even started. Rose thought it a little odd that she hadn't seen Spike since she came in to work. She got home and got ready for her date. She then spent the rest of her time pacing the floor waiting for Spike to show up. This was ridiculous. It wasn't as if the relationship could go anywhere. Even if she proved her point to the rest of her peers, once Spike had his body, she'd be gone. And if she didn't prove her point, she'd still have to go back. So why was she all on tenterhooks as though the date actually meant something?

When Spike finally did arrive, Rose noticed that he seemed nearly as on edge as she was. It might be her very first date, but surely he had been through all this before. He greeted her politely, but seemed terribly fidgety.

"Is something wrong, Spike?" she asked.

"Something I ought to have told you," he admitted. "Listen, luv, it's not going to be just you and me tonight. Angel's coming along."

"Angel?" She didn't know whether to be shocked or amused. "Maybe I misunderstood when..,"

"No," he interrupted. "It's just that, well, there are certain difficulties involved with me being an insubstantial spook. The poncey git is just along to drive and such. I guess I should have told you earlier."

"Are you always so irritable where Angel is involved?" she asked.

"Mostly." Spike gestured her through the door, frustrated because he couldn't open it for her. "But then, we go back a ways. And we've always irritated the hell out of each other. 'Spose it's habit as much as anything."

When Rose got into the car, she saw a small package tied with a dainty white bow. She eyed it cautiously.

"Open it," Spike urged, grinning. He had had a hard enough time pestering Angel to stop and get her a little gift.

She opened it and found a bottle of perfume. "It's got my name on it," she said wonderingly.

Spike laughed. "That's the scent, silly girl. Rose perfume for Rose. Try some on, luv."

She was about to remark that it seemed like kind of a waste when Spike wouldn't be able to smell it, and then realized that such an observation would probably hurt his feelings. She dabbed a little on, and found it smelled delightful. It was kind of nice to share a name with something that smelled this good.

"It's very nice," she said. "Thank you, Spike."

&&&&&&&

The evening went fairly well. Rose found the movie more amusing than Spike did, but he didn't care about the movie, he just liked hearing her laugh. And they'd actually gotten a standing ovation at the karaoke bar, much to Spike's amusement and Rose's embarrassment. Then, they finally made it to the beach.

Angel stayed in the car. He knew it had been his idea, but it had felt really awkward, being a third person on a date. But, he had to admit, to himself at least, that deep down, he had a soft spot for his smart-assed companion, and after what he had been through lately, he deserved what little fun he could have.

Spike and Rose walked up the beach, side by side. Spike was beginning to regret having added this to the agenda. For a romantic walk along the beach, a bloke ought to be able to put his arm around his girl, or at the very least, hold her hand. But Rose seemed to be enjoying herself, so he guessed it was worth it. He was so lost in his own thoughts, that he wasn't paying attention, until Rose whispered urgently to him.

"Spike?" He didn't seem to be paying attention. "Spike!" It was as loud as she could get and still keep it to a whisper.

"What is it, pet?" She looked a little agitated, though he couldn't figure out for the life of him why.

"See that big rock about twenty yards ahead?" she murmured.

"And what is so special about the rock?" he asked, humoring her.

"I saw something peeking out from behind it," she answered. "I think it might be the Amalyar demon." They had been moving at a fairly leisurely pace, but Rose slowed it down.

"I was in Angel's office when Wesley brought in the details," Spike informed her. "I'm pretty sure that he said they only attack people who are alone. You aren't alone, luv."

"Either he or you missed the part about them being nearly blind," she said. "They hunt by scent, mainly. And you don't have one, so it will think I am alone."

"Shit," Spike said with feeling. "Don't suppose there's any chance you can outrun it?"

"Not a chance," she whispered. "Since it doesn't know you're here, why don't you pop back and fetch Angel? I'll try not to get killed while you're gone."

"You'd better not," said Spike, as he disappeared.


	5. Live Bait

34

In the blink of an eye, Spike was back at the car, where Angel sat with his head back, either asleep, or nearly so.

"Angel!" Spike said urgently. Not a twitch. He spared a glance up the beach to Rose. She had turned around and started back, but he could clearly see the demon stalking her now.

"Angel!" This time he shouted right in the big pouf's ear. Angel came so abruptly awake that he nearly brained himself on the steering wheel.

"What did you do that for?" Angel groused. "And where's Rose?" Before he could go on, Spike pointed.

"Seems we accidentally flushed out a demon who thinks Rose might make a tasty snack," Spike informed him softly. "I hope you've got something lethal along with."

Angel was out of the car so fast that he went right through Spike. He went to the trunk of the car. "Weapons," he explained, "Why don't you go back to Rose? Yell at the thing. See if you can distract it away from her."

Spike didn't even bother to answer, but did as Angel suggested.

As soon as Spike had left her, Rose had carefully turned around and started walking back to the car. She was still moving very slowly, knowing that a sudden move would be an invitation for it to attack.

As she walked down the beach, it seemed that no matter how many steps she took, the car and safety didn't seem to be getting any closer. But she thought she could hear the demon getting closer. She gulped and fought back the panic, the fight or flight instinct. Either of which would get this body killed.

Suddenly, Spike was in front of her. "Keep moving, luv," he advised. "One foot in front of the other. Angel's on his way. I'm going to try to get its attention. If I give you the word, I want you to run hell-for-leather for the car."

Rose just barely nodded, so terrified that she was unable to speak. But she kept up her plodding pace.

Spike raced around her, waving his arms and shouting, at times dancing right in the Amalyar demon's face. But it continued to pursue Rose with a frightening singleness of purpose. He finally gave up trying to create a diversion, the demon clearly didn't care about him, but was intent on its original prey. Angel was running up the beach with a formidable looking ax in hand. Before Spike could begin to feel relieved, the demon charged at Rose.

"Rose, get down!" he shouted. Rose dropped to the ground as if she had been shot, and the demon tripped over her. Rose rolled away, then sat up and started scooting away on her backside. The demon regained its feet, sniffed the air, and turned back to Rose.

Rose saw a glint of steel flash above the Amalyar's head, and curled into a ball. The ax came slashing down and severed the demon from stem to stern. Foul-smelling gore spurted out , much of it landing on Rose. What was left of the demon, collapsed and began to dissolve.

"Are you all right?" Spike and Angel said simultaneously.

Rose got shakily to her feet. "I think I'm going to be sick," she replied, clearly and distinctly. Then, with a note of alarm in her voice. "It burns."

Angel pulled out a knife and started cutting her clothes away. "No time for modesty," he told a shocked Rose. Within moments, he had her down to the buff. "Into the water, Rose," he ordered. "Make sure you've got it all off you." Rose complied, not happy, but seeing the sense in what he said.

When she emerged from the water, Rose saw Spike, with his back to her, watching Angel. Angel had his head turned away, and stood there holding out his coat. Rose got into the coat, grateful that Angel was a large man. It covered the essentials, at least. But it wasn't warm enough for someone just out of the ocean late at night with nothing else on. Her teeth began chattering. Hard to tell whether it was the chill or the aftereffects of the shock.

"Back home for you, I think," Angel said softly.

"And turn on the heater when we get in the car," Spike ordered. "Her lips are turning blue." He turned to Rose. "You were wonderful, pet. Did everything just right You'd think you faced down demons every day, the way you held it together."

Rose couldn't even answer, she was shaking uncontrollably, and her teeth rattled like castanets. Angel picked her up.

"I think she's in shock," he told Spike. "We ought to get her to a doctor."

Rose shook her head violently. "Home," she forced out. She made a concerted effort to still her trembling, but with no success.

"You got any docs at Wolfram and Hart?" Spike asked. "I'm thinking if she's suffering from some side effect from being exposed to the demon's blood, a regular doctor wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do."

"You've got a point," Angel conceded. He put Rose in the front seat, expecting Spike to sit between them, as he had before. Spike surprised him by taking the back seat, but hanging over the front seat, a worried expression on his face.

Rose curled up into a miserable ball, and Angel decided against trying to unfold her to get a seatbelt on her. He'd just have to drive extra careful. He started the car and turned up the heater full blast.

As the heat started to sink in, Rose slowly unwound, and recovered her presence of mind enough to put on the overlooked seatbelt. "You really don't need to take me to a doctor, Angel," she assured him. "I'm feeling much better now. A long, hot shower and I'll be myself." She quirked a grin. "Well, myself minus about three layers of skin. That thing smelled rank, and I feel like it's sunk into my pores."

"You really ought to let a doctor check you out, luv," Spike interjected. "You can pick up some bizarre little thingys from demon's blood."

She looked pleadingly at Angel, who resolutely kept his eyes on the road. "Spike's right, Rose. It's probably nothing, but humor us, please."

"Looks like I'm outvoted," she mumbled. She gave one last, leftover shiver. "I still think the two of you are fussing unnecessarily."

"It's 'cause we care, pet," Spike said gently. "Do it for me? Please?"

Rose oozed down into the seat. "That's cheating," she accused weakly.

"Yes, it is," he agreed. "I told you I wasn't above a bit of cheating under the appropriate circumstances. You're worth some cheating, I'm thinking."

&&&&&&

The doctor had pronounced Rose fit, except for a mild case of shock, and so, she at last got her wish to go home. Spike got out of the car at her place. "Don't wait up, dad," he told Angel. "I'll find my own way back." He winked at Angel, who rolled his eyes. He leaned against the car and stayed there until he saw the light go on in Rose's apartment.

&&&&&&&

Rose looked at Spike who had made himself at home as was his wont. "Go ahead and take your shower, luv," he said. "I'll just hang about a bit if you don't mind."

She thought he probably would even if she tried to send him away. She took her shower, and scrubbed and scrubbed, and still thought she could smell the rotting fish stench of the demon on her. She started washing her hair and was horrified to have a sizable clump of it come out in her hand. "Oh no," she moaned. She finished shampooing, and was happy to note that no more hair came out, but she had a feeling it was going to look strange with a handful of it missing.

When she got out and started brushing her hair, she saw that it did indeed look odd. The hank of hair that was missing was all conspicuously on one side, albeit thankfully at the bottom. But it looked like her shoulder length hair was going to have to lose about three inches to even up the damage. She tied it back in a ponytail, hoping that Spike wouldn't notice.

When she went back into the living room, it looked like Spike hadn't moved at all. "Feeling better, pet?" he asked.

"Much," she answered. She went to the kitchen with Spike at her heels. He hovered silently by as she fixed herself a cup of hot cocoa.

As she sat down at the table to sip the steaming drink, he sat opposite her. "It's a lot better with those little marshmallows," he observed.

"Too sweet." She shook her head. "Besides, right now, I'm more concerned with just getting something hot inside of me."

He grinned. "No accounting for tastes, I suppose. Are you going to tell me about your hair, or just let me make guesses?"

"It just came out when I started washing it," she explained. "I didn't realize that the demon's blood had splashed that high, so I didn't try to wash it out when I was in the ocean. Now I suppose I'll have to get it cut."

"Cryin' shame," Spike observed. "Still, better your hair, than other things. You got awfully lucky, luv. Gave me a few very bad minutes, I can tell you."

She finished her drink. "I hate to be rude," she remarked. "And up until the demon, I had a very nice time tonight, but I think I really want to get some sleep now."

Spike nodded. "Sometimes it takes you like that," he agreed. "I'd like to stay, Rose. Make sure that if you wake up in the middle of the night, you have someone to talk to."

"You don't have to," she mumbled. "I'll be all right, honestly."

"I know I don't have to," he answered. "I want to. I want to watch you sleep. I want to watch your chest rise and fall and know you're still breathing. Life's too precious to be casual about it, luv, and you came way too close to losing it tonight."

She turned out the lights and settled under the covers. Spike sprawled out beside her. "You don't mind, do you, pet?"

He could almost feel her smile in the darkness. "No, I don't mind." She curled up into a ball and went promptly to sleep.

&&&&&&&

"Rose." "Rose." "Rose." She kept hearing voices, calling her name, but she felt weighted down. She tried opening her eyes, but they didn't seem to want to work.

"Rose." Suddenly, she understood, stopped trying to open her eyes, and opened her mind, instead.

Citrine: "Well, it's about time."

Rose: "I've had a bad night."

Sienna: "We wanted to see if you were making any progress."

Rose: "I thought there was to be no time limit."

Violet: "Are you saying that you have made no headway at all?"

Rose: "A little. But I'm finding that I've had to put considerable effort to learn to deal with a human body. There's an awful lot of maintenance involved."

Cerulean: "What is that little that you've learned?"

Rose: "The Watcher doesn't believe that William deserves an eternity in hell. He pointed out that he gave up a unique chance to become corporeal to save another."

Viridian: "And anything else?"

Rose: "Tonight, he saved my life. Well, the life of this body. Otherwise an Amalyar demon would have finished this body's usefulness."

Sienna: "How could an insubstantial spirit save a life?"

Rose: "He went for help. He's watching the body sleep now, to make sure that all is well with it."

Viridian: "Are you falling in love with him?"

Rose: "Don't be silly. We can't fall in love. We aren't the bundles of emotions that humans are. We just are."

Cerulean: "But you are currently living in a human body. You may find that you are subject to human emotions while you wear it."

Rose: "It would be folly in the extreme for me to fall in love with him anyway. Once the judgment is made, either for or against, I will have to return."

Citrine: "It has often been noted that love and reason have nothing in common. Have a care Rose, lest you do more damage than good."

Rose: "I should go back now. I will report to you as I learn things."

Violet: "We shall contact you. Remember, you have no powers as a human."

Rose: "I wonder if we do the humans a disservice by saying they have no powers."

&&&&&&&

As Rose first fell asleep, she seemed restless, her lips moving as if she were in a conversation. Eventually, she subsided, and drifted off into normal sleep.

And still Spike watched her.


	6. The Powers of Love

40

Rose woke without opening her eyes, and stretched. Good thing that it was Saturday and she hadn't had to get up for work. She rolled over to look at the time, and saw Spike, in the same position he had been when she had drifted off to sleep.

"You must really have needed that, luv," he said. "Slept a good ten hours. What's on the agenda for today?"

She couldn't suppress a grin. "I thought the date was over." She sat up, and the shade followed suit. "I guess I ought to go somewhere and get my hair cut for one thing," she commented ruefully. "As for the rest of the day, I was sort of planning on doing some housecleaning before everything gets buried in dust."

Spike looked around. If there was any dust in the place, he couldn't see it. "And then what?"

She looked at him in surprise. "I don't know, isn't that enough? If I have the time before it closes, I might go to the library."

Spike got up out of the bed, trying to act as real as possible. "Sounds dull as dishwater to me," he remarked. "What say I drop back by this evening, pet? A little bit of company to while away the lonely hours?"

Rose smiled at him warmly. "Well, you don't seem to have worn out your welcome yet. Do you have a specific time in mind, or shall I just expect you whenever you get here?"

Before Spike could answer, her phone rang, and he chuckled seeing her almost jump out of her skin at the sound. Must not give out her phone number to many people if she was that unused to it. Still there were always the calls from the telemarketers. He eavesdropped unashamedly to her end of the conversation.

"Hello? What? Oh, yes, I'm fine. No aftereffects at all," she assured her caller. Spike had a good idea who it was. "It's really not necessary." She started blushing, and Spike wondered what Peaches was saying to her. "I wish you wouldn't. I guess I don't have a choice, do I? I do need to go out today anyway, so the lift will be appreciated. Spike? He's here. Did you want to speak to him? Oh, I kind of forgot that. I will. Thank you."

She hung up the phone and saw Spike giving her a look. "What did Mr. Broody have to say?"

"Well, for one thing," she answered. "He wants to see you. I imagine he'll tell you the rest." She got a mysterious little smile going. "You might want to hurry."

She had really gotten his curiosity piqued. "Back in a bit then, luv." He disappeared.

&&&&&&

When he showed up at Angel's his grandsire was sitting with his sketchbook in hand. "You wanted to see me, Peaches?"

Angel started, then sighed and started erasing. "I wish you wouldn't do that," he grumbled. "And as for that particular nickname, you know how I feel about that."

"Course I do." Spike wandered around Angel to see what he was drawing, but Angel flattened the book against his chest and prevented him seeing it. "Why do you think I do it? So, what's the burning issue that you need to discuss with me?"

Angel gestured to a chair. "This may take a while." Before Spike could argue that comfort was not a consideration where he was concerned, he added, "It's serious, Spike, I'd like to be able to look you in the eye."

"Hope it won't take too long," Spike remarked. "Rose asked me to hurry back."

"Relax," Angel advised. "The car hasn't left yet, and won't, till I give the word. I know she told me she's okay, but how is she, really?"

"Really, okay," Spike answered. "Except for having to get a haircut. She didn't realize that stuff got in her hair, and it ate away a chunk of it. But no physical or psychological effects, if that's what you're getting at. She slept like a baby all night without stirring."

Angel's eyebrows shot up. "You watched her sleep? Why?"

"'Cause, you bloody big pouf, I was worried about her. Why do you think?" Spike snapped. "I wanted to make sure that she kept breathing in and out. That there was someone there if that demon started chasing her in her dreams."

"Got it bad, haven't you?" It was phrased as a question, but Angel made it sound like a statement. Therefore, he didn't bother to wait for an answer. "Have you given any thought to where this relationship is going?"

"Can't see that it's any business of yours," Spike stated. "But just for the record, I find her attractive, intelligent, a little bit mysterious, and I may just be falling in love with her."

"That's what I thought," Angel replied. "You always were one to wear your heart on your sleeve. But that wasn't what I asked. I asked if you had given any thought to where the relationship was going. Or where it possibly could go. Suppose the two of you do fall in love? Do you expect her to stand by hoping that somehow someone will be able to make you corporeal again? Or wait for you to get sucked into hell?" He saw by the stricken look on Spike's face, that he hadn't thought that far into the future. "It isn't fair to her, Spike. Don't you think she deserves better than that?"

"Bloody hell." Spike slumped down in his chair. "She does deserve better. A lot better. So maybe I should just stop seeing her?"

Angel shook his head. "She trusts you. I think she may even rely on you. What I'm saying, is that maybe you should just tone things down a bit. Don't offer her more than friendship. No more dates, for sure. Just back off a little. It will probably hurt like hell, but if you really care for her, then you won't take the relationship so far that you can't get out of it without hurting her."

Spike sat there for a few minutes, chewing on his own lip. "Poncey git," he growled. "Of all the times you've been wrong, did you have to be right this time?"

Angel went back to his sketching. "I've said my piece, for what it's worth. I hope you know I didn't really enjoy it."

"You never enjoy anything." Spike was still looking bleak.

"Don't you want to know why I'm sending her a car?" Angel prompted.

"Guess." Spike was still looking thoughtful.

"The driver's got a line of credit for her on my account," Angel explained. "So she can replace her clothes. I'm not sure that she's the kind of woman who will find any real compensation in a shopping spree. Still, it was all I could do. Are you planning on going with her?"

"I suppose I shouldn't," Spike muttered. "But I hate to think what she'd buy without me there. And it's not like it's really a boyfriend/girlfriend sort of activity."

Angel picked up his cell phone. "Send the car for Miss Powers now, please. Yes, wherever she wants to go. Thank you." He shut the phone off. "The car's on its way. Aren't you going to get over there too?"

"I can get there faster than the car," Spike said. "Whatcha drawing, Angel? You usually aren't quite so secretive about your artwork."

Angel had known that hiding it would only serve to add fuel to Spike's curiosity. And after the conversation that they had just had, it didn't seem really fair. He turned the book around. The page was divided up into several little scenes, all from the night before, when to be totally honest, Angel had been little more than an onlooker anyway. There was Rose and Spike singing together. There was even one of Spike trying to distract the Amalyar demon away from Rose. But the one in the center had been one that Angel's photographic eye had captured in the dim lights of the movie house. Rose, carefree, face lit up with laughter, in profile, and Spike turned toward her, watching her with a look on his face that proved Angel's point about him wearing his heart on his sleeve.

"Looks almost like we belong together," Spike observed. "And I can't bloody help it, but I feel like we belong together. Why did I have to be brought back like this? Better to have let me burn. It couldn't hurt worse than this."

"You want me to call Rose and tell her you can't make it?" Angel asked sympathetically. The pain radiating from Spike was practically tangible.

"No," Spike answered. "She'd think I was mad at her. Or that you were trying to break us up. Which technically, you are. I'll go." He disappeared.

Angel looked at his work with a critical eye. He touched up a few details here and there before deciding that anything else would ruin it. They did look like they belonged together. And there was one small sketch in the bottom corner that Spike may have overlooked. It had also taken place when they were singing. Spike's attention was off to one side, away from Rose, and she was looking at him. With the same look on her face that had been on Spike's in the center picture. Angel sighed. It may already be too late for Spike to keep from hurting her. And Spike was already hurting.

&&&&&&

"You know you want to get it," Spike wheedled. "So what's the problem? It looks great on you, sets off your new hairstyle, and besides, it isn't even your money."

"Exactly," Rose argued. "It isn't my money, it's Angel's. He can't have meant for me to spend the entire amount, he can't possibly have. It's way more than that outfit cost."

"Maybe you should just consider it a bonus for going above and beyond the call of duty," Spike reasoned. "After all, I seriously doubt your contract says anything about being live bait for a demon."

"Just because Angel was there doesn't make it work related," Rose replied. "It just happened. And as for the clothes, considering what that demon's blood did to them, I hate to think what it would have done to my skin. If anything, I owe him for his quick thinking."

"Got paid back and plenty just getting to see you naked," Spike muttered half under his breath.

"I seriously doubt if he really even noticed," Rose said soothingly. "All he was interested in was making sure that I wasn't hurt."

Spike doubted that, Angel noticed everything. But they were getting way far afield from the origins of the argument. "If he hadn't wanted you to spend that much he wouldn't have extended that much credit in your name." Bloody hell, now he was starting to talk like the pouf. Time he was himself again, that seemed to work better with her anyway. "Just take the money, pet. You earned it whether you think so or not." He gave her an evil little smirk. "And if you don't start wasting the ready, I'll tell the driver not to take you back home till every last cent is spent."

Rose checked her reflection in the mirror again. "It doesn't leave much to the imagination," she said dubiously. "Is it supposed to be this.., form fitting?"

"That's the idea, luv." Spike staged a leer at her. "Have all the men panting after you and all the women green with envy."

"Why would I want to do that?" Rose asked, mystified.

Spike sighed. "Just buy the outfit, luv."

&&&&&&&

Rose dropped the pile of packages on the sofa and joined them there, kicking off her shoes on the way down. Her feet were throbbing. How did humans put up with all the little aches and pains? Not to mention the larger ones. Spike had absolutely run her ragged on the shopping trip. She smiled. It was almost worth the discomfort just watching the linguistic convolutions he went through persuading her to buy something. She ran a hand through her shorn locks. Since she was only here for a short time, she supposed it shouldn't really make any difference how she looked, but she had been rather fond of the hair. She looked down at her attire. Spike had not only nagged her into buying the outfit, but had persuaded to wear it home. He really did seem to be able to talk her into anything, which was not necessarily a good thing. She should be able to retain a sense of objectivity, and she wasn't doing well on that score at all. To be entirely honest, she had no sense of objectivity about Spike at all. But on the other hand, wasn't the way she was feeling about Spike a point in his favor? And then there was the matter of Angel. The two had always been rivals, of a sort, so why had Angel gone to the trouble of facilitating their date? It had to be because Spike's plight had touched him in some way. And could he feel sorry for someone he thought deserved eternal torment? She sat there musing, feet up, eyes closed, nearly drifting off to sleep when someone knocked at the door.

Rose sat up with a start. Groaning, she put her abused feet down and answered the door.

"No chain?" Angel asked. "Rose, you can't just open the door like that. I could have been anybody. I could have been a criminal or a demon and you didn't even check to see if it was safe." He stood there at the doorway, delivering his lecture.

Then, Rose remembered. "Come in, Angel." She wondered what was in the largish, flat package under his arm.

Angel looked around her apartment and had to concede that Spike's assessment of the place was on the mark. It was a place to sleep, not to live. He handed her the package. "Something to decorate the walls with," he said. Seeing from the look on her face that she was going to be difficult, he added, "If you don't accept it, you'll hurt my feelings."

Rose gingerly took the package and opened it. There, in a simple wood frame was the series of drawings he had done from the night before. "It's wonderful," she murmured. "I had no idea you were so talented." She was studying the scenes intently.

"How was your shopping trip?" Angel asked, just to make conversation.

"Exhausting," she answered, still not taking her eyes off the picture.

"But obviously successful," he prompted. "That's new, isn't it?"

Rose blushed. "I don't know which is the notable feat, Spike talking me into buying it, or Spike talking me into actually wearing it. But you really shouldn't have..,"

"Remember what I said about hurt feelings?" Angel interrupted. "The money wasn't just for some ruined clothes. It was for helping me solve a problem. It was for keeping your head and keeping me from having to bury an employee. Lots of reasons." He noticed that she was still staring at the picture. "Don't you like it?"

"I love it," she assured him. "But did it all really look like that? I mean, well, like..,"

"Like the way you were looking at each other when the other one wasn't looking?" Angel suggested. "You did. Both of you." He started to look a little uncomfortable. Why did he feel like he had to play a father character for both parties of this ill-fated love affair? "Could I sit down?"

"What?" Rose had been absorbed in her study of the picture again. "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." She resumed her seat on the sofa, and Angel took a chair opposite her.

"Rose, I want to ask you a kind of personal question," he mumbled, feeling really awkward now. "I know it may seem like it's none of my business, and in the final analysis, it probably isn't. It just concerns people I care about and don't want to see hurt." He took a deep breath, he did need the air for speaking.

Rose could see where he was going, and made a decision that might have serious consequences. "You mean about the fact that Spike and I are falling in love with each other, don't you?" When Angel nodded, she went on to explain. "I didn't mean to, it's affecting my judgment and who knows what else. Angel, can I trust you with a secret? And I mean really trust, you can't tell anyone, not Spike, not Wesley, not a soul."

This conversation was not going quite the way Angel had imagined, but Rose obviously needed someone to confide in, and he had sort of opened the door to it. "I won't tell anyone," he promised. "But are you sure that I'm the person to tell?"

"I really shouldn't tell anyone," she admitted. "But it's so hard, being all alone. Being isolated in a body. How can you stand it?"

She had definitely gotten Angel's attention now. "'Being isolated in a body'?" he repeated. "What exactly are you, Rose?"

"Think about my name, Angel," she instructed him. "Especially the last name that I'm using. Let's say that it's more of a job description than a name."

"Powers?" he said wonderingly. Then, the other shoe dropped. And so did Angel's jaw. "You can't be." he sputtered. "You're one of the Powers That Be? What are you doing here?"

"I had been arguing with my peers, on a certain subject." She wasn't quite geared up to telling him what subject yet. "They thought I needed to observe first hand, as a human. Which, at the moment, I am. Completely human, no supernatural abilities. They even did things like facilitate my getting the position at your law firm."

"I've never even heard of one of the Powers actually interacting with human beings before," Angel remarked. "What was so important that you had to come here? And why did you have to be at Wolfram and Hart to do it?"

"Because the.., subject of my.., research is intimately tied, or perhaps bound, would be a better word for it, to Wolfram and Hart," she explained. Suddenly, a lone tear trickled down her cheek. Rose didn't appear to notice. "Angel, do you think that Spike deserves an eternity in hell?"

"All this is about Spike?" Angel was stunned. "Is he really that important in the scheme of things?"

"He was," Rose pointed out. "When he wore that amulet. And ever since then, I have been arguing on his behalf. And even more so since he was incarnated as a disembodied spirit. It isn't right. I believed it before I even met Spike. I believe it even more now. I just don't know how I can convince the rest of my colleagues that I'm right. Especially now."

"Now that you're in love with him," Angel said softly.

"I'm not even human," Rose moaned. "Not really. I don't, or didn't have emotions. It shouldn't be possible for me to fall in love." Another tear trailed down in the wake of the first one. "But I did. Angel, I'm in love with Spike."


	7. More Questions Than Answers

44

Angel really felt out of his depth. An upset female, whether human, vamp, or demon was difficult enough to cope with. But one of the actual Powers..,

Rose managed a lopsided smile. "You never answered my question, Angel. About whether or not you think Spike deserves eternal torment. Don't think about it, or reason it out. Just say what's on your heart."

"No." Angel's reply was barely audible. "He saved Buffy. That alone should be enough to keep him out of hell."

"I'm glad you think so." Rose walked over to the wall where a nail stuck out defiantly, holding up nothing, and hung her picture. "Mind you, I'm not sure how much weight your opinion will carry with my peers. At this point I'm not sure if my opinion will affect their decision." Rose still hadn't turned around, but stood looking at the portrait.

"Did you ever think that going from an emotionless Power to a woman in love might actually work in Spike's favor?" Angel suggested. "I don't think you could have fallen in love with someone evil."

"But what if it doesn't?" Rose suddenly seemed to find her feet very interesting. "How could I bear going back and making judgments and decisions knowing that he was forever damned?"

Angel could smell the salt from her tears. He really wasn't much good at this, but he did understand about being alone. He went to stand behind her, put his hands on shaking shoulders, and turned her towards him. She allowed him to pull her into his arms, and cried against him, but her arms still hung at her sides. It occurred to Angel that she had been human for so short a time that she had never been hugged before. In fact, except for a few handshakes, he doubted that she'd ever been touched at all. That in itself was enough to make his heart ache for her. He held her closer and stroked her hair, murmuring soothingly in Gaelic. The bout of weeping was brief, but intense. When it was over, Rose pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. She ran her fingers through her hair, disarranging it. "Do I look awful?"

Angel forced a smile. "Was that a touch of vanity?" he teased gently, reaching out and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Rose. Never be sorry for caring. It's painful a lot of the time, but the only other option is existing rather than really living. If you don't take a chance on caring for someone, risk the pain, then you're less alive than I am. Or than Spike is."

Rose shook her head. "I wasn't sorry for caring, Liam. But it occurred to me that the reason I was crying wasn't so much worry for William as for how I would feel. I feel so incredibly guilty for being so self-centered."

"You're getting more human by the hour," Angel observed. "And that, I have no doubt, comes mostly from your association with Spike. The next time you talk to your friends, you might mention that." Suddenly, he remembered something. He reached in his pocket. "You left this in the car last night. I figured that you'd want it back."

Rose took the object from his hand and found that it was the perfume that Spike had gifted her with. She opened it just to inhale the lovely fragrance. "I wish I could take this with me when I go," she remarked. "Senses can be awfully distracting, but there are compensations."

"Are you going to be all right now?" Angel asked. "I don't want to outstay my welcome. And if Spike showed up and saw me here, he might misunderstand."

"I don't know," she observed. "I think the two of you understand each other very well."

&&&&&&&

Spike was knocking about Wolfram and Hart, feeling utterly at a loss. He may have told Rose he was going to come over, but thanks to his little chat with Angel, he was beginning to doubt the wisdom of such an action. The place wasn't completely empty, but being the weekend, the bustle of activity was down to a mere trickle. None of the really familiar faces, though. If he hadn't been so miserable, he'd be totally bored. He didn't even feel up to practicing at affecting physical objects with his presence, although he had been making quite a bit of progress in that direction. What he really wanted, more than anything, was to be with Rose. But he couldn't. He couldn't be more than a friend to her. He kept telling himself that. Getting that close to her in the first place had been so incredibly selfish. It wasn't fair to romance her when he had literally nothing to offer her. The few little gifts he had been able to give her had really come from Angel. And he hated owing Angel. And the debts that he owed Angel, both to the good and the bad, went way back.

He went wandering aimlessly along a hallway. He hadn't even realized that he had started singing, let alone the particular tune his subconscious had chosen. "I can't give you anything but love, baby."

Lorne stuck his head out of a nearby doorway. "Spike, you are giving off such strong vibes I hardly need to hear you sing to pick up on them."

"I was singing?" Spike queried, surprised, if there was one thing he didn't feel like now, it was singing. He thought about it for a moment, and realized that he had. "Guess I was. Didn't mean to disturb you. I didn't even know you were here. Place is about as lively as a crypt, but without the inherent charm."

Lorne chuckled. "You're a riot, Spikster. And you don't need me to interpret anything for you, do you? All you need to do is listen to what you were singing. And listen to your heart." Lorne disappeared back inside.

"Don't have a heart anymore, silly damn demon," Spike muttered. Then, he sighed and asked himself. "If I don't have a heart, then how can it be breaking?"

&&&&&&

After Angel left, Rose stood staring at the picture for the longest time. Especially the one in the center of the page. She had known, even when she had danced around the subject with her colleagues, that she was already falling in love with him. But for some reason, despite his less than subtle attentions, it had never occurred to her that the feelings involved were mutual. Until she looked at that picture. Saw Spike looking at her with a tender glow in his eyes. She wrapped the feeling around her and hugged it to her. She couldn't believe how incredibly special it made her feel. Even though she knew it would make the inevitable parting all the more difficult, whichever way the decision went. But how could she face the endless eons if she failed him? She stood and stared until she had committed each and every nuance, each shading of the picture to memory. If she couldn't take the perfume with her when she left, at least she could treasure the memory of these scenes captured from the most memorable night of her existence. When she finally turned away from it, she put on some of the perfume. Might as well use it while she could, and the scent itself evoked memories in plenty. But would any of those memories sway the opinions of the rest of the Powers?

&&&&&&&

Spike kicked around for a while longer, and wound up in Angel's apartment just as himself was getting back from somewhere or other.

"Spike," Angel said evenly. He had had some small, futile hope that maybe the matter of Spike and Rose had been resolved. At least as far as he was concerned. He should have known better. Especially when Spike was involved. Despite their long-standing rivalry, and also, ironically, because of it, Spike talked to him, because he was the only one who understood so many things about him because he'd gone through them too.

Spike wandered around the living room restlessly. "Haven't hung that drawing? I was kind of hoping that you'd put it somewhere I could look at it."

"I don't have it anymore." That, at least was the truth. Just not all of it.

"You didn't destroy it?" Spike looked horrified.

"No," Angel said slowly. "I didn't destroy it. I gave it to a friend." Angel hoped he could consider Rose his friend. He didn't want to make enemies among the Powers That Be. He already had the feeling that he had some there as it was.

"What friend?" Spike was worrying over the thing like a dog with a bone. "That was some very personal stuff. I wish you hadn't gone and given it..," He stopped as enlightenment lit up his features. "You gave it to Rose, didn't you?" He laughed. "Who'd have thought a gloomy bastard like you would have a sentimental streak?"

Angel shrugged. Spike's moods were so mercurial that it was hard to follow them at times. "I could hardly hang it here," he pointed out. "Anyone visiting could see it, and, as you say, it is personal. You don't have anywhere to keep it. So that left Rose."

"But don't that pretty much screw up the whole intention of that little heart to heart you insisted on?" Spike asked. "All she'll have to do is look at that picture to see how I feel about her."

"It was too late, anyway," Angel admitted. "You must have missed the little one in the corner. The one where Rose was looking at you the same way you looked at her. Not to mention which, she'd already pretty much put all the pieces together by herself." He sat down with a thump. "Spike, I can't believe that I'm saying this, but maybe you'd better go see her. I think the two of you need to talk things out."

Spike flung himself across a chair. "Dunno about that," he muttered. "What could I possibly do or say that wouldn't do more damage than good?"

"You're really asking the wrong person," Angel said wearily. "But knowing that she feels the same way, what do you think is going to hurt her worse. Seeing you, or not?"

The specter shook his head. "I know how I feel about it, but I don't know how she'll feel about it."

"That's why you need to talk to her."

&&&&&&

Rose was on her hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. She had to admit that one, it didn't really need cleaned that badly, and two, that the linoleum tiles were so old and worn that no amount of scrubbing was going to make them look good. But she couldn't just sit doing nothing. She needed to work off some of the energy that nerves and frustration had built up in her. She put her back into the work as if it really could make a difference. It would be nice to think that something she could do in this frail, human body could make a difference.

"Knock, knock." Spike's voice came from her living room.

"I'm in the kitchen, Spike," she called out, without getting up. She felt her heart begin to pound so loudly that she thought sure that Spike could hear it too. She felt giddy.., happy.., alive. Just because he was here. Because he hadn't shut her out. Love and reason may not go together, she reflected, but she was starting to realize that each had its place.

"You're going to ruin your hands, luv," Spike observed. "You ought to be wearing gloves."

She sat up on her heels. "Who's going to be looking at my hands? You worry about the oddest things sometimes."

"Nothing odd about it," he insisted. "I worry about you." He looked around. The atmosphere wasn't particularly conducive to a serious conversation. "Why don't you leave your scrub bucket for a few minutes and come talk to me in the other room?"

Rose got to her feet, finding that she felt stiff and creaky after all that time kneeling. She hobbled into the living room and fell onto the sofa. She rubbed the palms of her hands ineffectually across her aching knees.

Spike was thinking that she looked absolutely beautiful, even doing such a dirty, menial chore. He saw the prominently displayed picture, and stopped to give it another glance. He looked for the picture in the corner that Angel had mentioned. "Well bugger me," he said to himself.

"Spike?" Rose looked up and saw him looking at Angel's drawing. "I thought you wanted to talk."

"Yeah." Spike sat next to her, turned sideways so that he could face her. "I wish I could touch you, pet," he murmured. Bloody hell, where had that come from? It wasn't anything like what he had intended to say. For the first time since his arrival, he really got a good look at her face. "You been crying, sweetheart?"

The color began to rise on her face. "It shows?" She didn't try to deny it. She had come to hate having to deceive him about anything. And the deception had begun before they even met.

"I hope you weren't crying over me, babe," Spike said softly. "Can't honestly say I'm worth it."

"You underestimate yourself," Rose answered. "You have no conception what your worth is to the people around you. Especially me," she admitted. Her eyes began to shimmer with unshed tears.

Spike groaned. "I can't be anything to you. I can't do anything for you. I should never have started anything with you." He saw the tell-tale glistening. "Please don't cry, Rose. I can't stand to see you unhappy."

"Spike, your body may be dead, but you're the most alive person I've met," she murmured. "What I know about being alive, really alive, I've learned from you. Don't say you can't do anything for me, because you do. You make me feel like I'm something special."

"You are special, pet," he argued. "I can't ever remember wanting to do so much for another person. The other times I fancied myself in love, seems all I could think about was how I felt. Even me doing something to make a lady happy almost always came round to me. But I just want you to be happy.., because.., because I want you to be happy. See you smile, hear you laugh. Gives me the warm fuzzies, it does."

Rose smiled despite the incipient tears, which she impatiently swiped at with her wrist. "And who do you think makes me smile? And laugh? And cry? Spike, you run me through the entire gamut of emotions and back again. Having to give that up would make me feel.., dead.., inside. I've never been in love before. I didn't know that it could be so painful. But a good friend told me that caring involves taking risks, and that if you don't take risks, you're not really alive, just existing. If a little pain is the price I have to pay to be really alive, then I'll accept it freely. Because when it isn't hurting, it feels so glorious it's overwhelming."

"It would seem we have a problem then, luv," Spike observed. "Because I feel the same way you do. I love you, Rose. And maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, but I just keep feeling that it was meant to be."

"I guess we do have a problem," she agreed. "I love you too, Spike. And it just doesn't seem fair or right that love should ever be a problem."

"Haven't you heard, sweetheart?" Spike remarked. "Life ain't fair." He sighed. "Death ain't any better."


	8. Taking Risks

49

They sat there for several minutes, gazing into each other's eyes, saying nothing. But it was not an uncomfortable silence, the awkward feeling that the silence must be filled wasn't there.

Spike finally, perhaps inevitably, interrupted the stillness. "So, any ideas on just how we're going to handle this, luv? I still can't believe how little you're willing to settle for. I can't touch you, kiss you, or make love to you."

"I'm not settling for a little," Rose replied. "I have your love, and sometimes, it seems so big that I'm lost in it."

Spike laughed, still a little sadly. "Well, I know it can't be my body or my money, 'cause I've got neither one." He paused briefly and quirked a grin at her. "Must be a little lacking in the brain department too, starting something like this that I can't finish."

"You never once asked me what was in those books I keep bringing home." Where the hell did that come from? Was the discussion getting too uncomfortable for her? Before he could ask, Rose went on. "Didn't you ever wonder? Even just a little bit?"

"Can't say as I did, pet." Now that she had brought up the subject, though, his thoughts ran riot as to what it could be. "I give up."

"A little research for my own purposes," Rose murmured, with a sly little half-smile. Then the smile went away. "I haven't had any luck with it yet, though. Some of those spells just might have worked if it weren't for the influence of that stupid amulet."

Then, at last, Spike understood. "That's what you've been doing this whole time?" he asked incredulously. "Every night?"

"And during my lunch breaks, and whenever I have a spare moment," she answered. "Not that I've had too many spare moments at work. The more I get done the more Wesley piles on my desk. But if there's a way to restore your physical body, Spike, I'm going to find it, if I have to read every single word in every piece of information stored in Wolfram and Hart's vaults."

"You're going to all that trouble for me?" Spike didn't really believe at this point in time that she'd find anything, but the fact that she had put so much time into it, and still was at it, touched him.

"No," she surprised him by saying. "I'm doing it for me. Because it will make me happy to see you able to really be a man, to be treated as a man. To get some small, but much deserved compensation for what you've done."

"You don't make any distinction between a vamp and a man, do you, pet?" Spike quizzed. "There's quite a bit of difference, I can tell you."

"Not for you and Angel," Rose pointed out. "And the research that I have managed all suggests that if a restoration is possible, that it will be as a vampire, true. There are a couple I had to rule out. They would have worked, but you would have lost your soul again. I didn't think you'd want that, and certainly no one else would. But if I can work something out, you would be what you were before, a vampire with a soul."

"And what are you, precious girl?" he asked softly. "An angel sent straight from heaven? No, that can't be it, I can't imagine an angel having anything to do with the likes of me. But the better I get to know you, the more certain I am that you're at least a little something more than human."

"Where did you get a notion like that?" she queried. She wanted to know where she had gone wrong. "I didn't think I'd stand out at a place like Wolfram and Hart. Just your average employee."

"No," Spike disagreed. "Not even average for Wolfram and Hart, which wouldn't know average if it bit them and drained them dry. But I'll swear, luv, that you are simply too good to be real."

"The more I work at Wolfram and Hart the more I find what a slippery concept 'real' is," Rose remarked. "You may not be here physically, but I think you're more real than half the people in that place who are just going through the motions of life without actually living."

"We never did make a decision about what we're going to do about us," he reminded her. "If either of us had any sense, we'd just stop seeing each other, suffer a little heartache now, and save having a lot of it later on." He grinned suddenly. "I'm pretty sure that I don't have any sense, not where you're concerned, pet."

"I'm glad to hear that," she replied with a smile that would have made him feel warm all over, if he had had an all over to feel. "Because I don't have any sense either. I think we ought to just go on as we are and see what The Powers hand us."

Spike made a rude noise. "The bloody Powers That Be. Sometimes I wouldn't half like to give them a piece of my mind."

"You don't seem to think too highly of them," Rose observed. "I know you've received a bad bargain at their hands, but they do have an awful lot to oversee. And maybe, just maybe, they might reconsider their decision."

"That lot?" Spike hooted. "Doubt that they'd give me a second thought. Probably make a decision and bam! that's it, engraved in stone. What makes you think The high and mighty Powers would give a damn about me?"

"Why shouldn't they?" Rose felt a pang of guilt that he had been treated so unfairly that he thought so badly of them. She resolved that one way or another, before she had to go back, she'd tell him. Tell him everything. Even at the risk of him despising her. If his love turned to hate, at least that would make the parting easier for one of them. "You did something absolutely amazing. You willingly sacrificed yourself for the greater good. Don't you think that could make an impression? Even on The Powers That Be?"

"You're an optimist, pet," Spike remarked wistfully. "I wish I could agree with you, but evidence to date suggests that you're dead wrong."

"'Evidence to date' implies that all the evidence isn't in yet," she responded. "Maybe they're still weighing that evidence."

"You'd stand up to The Powers themselves for me, wouldn't you?" he asked in awe. "Bloody amazing woman."

&&&&&&&

Rose and Spike spent most of the weekend together, mostly just sitting and talking. Sometimes about themselves, but increasingly about other things, books, music, ideas. Spike hadn't talked to anyone like this since before Dru had turned him, and he found that he actually enjoyed himself. Time flew by until Monday morning arrived and Rose had to report to work.

He rode the car with her to the law firm and walked inside with her.

"You're sure, luv?" he asked, just standing and looking into her eyes.

"If you're hanging around all the time I'll be so distracted that I won't get any work done," Rose pointed out, looking back. The two of them stood there just gazing at each other for long moments, making obvious to anyone how they felt. "If I don't get any work done," she finally managed to finish, "then I'll probably get fired, and I won't have access to all those reference materials. So you're going to have to find a way to amuse yourself till I get off work."

"Off you get then, pet," Spike said reluctantly. "The sooner you get going, the sooner you'll be done. And I'll be counting the seconds."

Rose finally forced herself to move on to her office, and Spike stood and watched her walk away, just taking in the sight of how graceful she was, and the way she wiggled her..,

"What in the hell was that all about?" His reverie was broken by a ticked off Harmony.

"Hello, Harm," Spike said cautiously. What in hell was she on about? They hadn't been an item for quite some time.

Harmony glared at him, hands on hips. "You've been giving me the cold shoulder ever since you popped in out of thin air, then you stand there making goo-goo eyes at that." She waved her hand in the general direction that Rose had gone.

Spike started slouching along, hoping that Harm would get the hint and shove off. No such luck.

"Well?" she insisted, following along. "What's the matter, Blondie Bear? Lost your tongue along with everything else?"

"You and me ain't been together for a while now, Harm," Spike pointed out a little less than politely. "So, not meaning to be rude or anything, but what the hell business is it of yours?"

Harmony pouted. "You're making a laughingstock of me, that's what. It's bad enough that people know that we.., dated. But then they had to find out that you dumped me for the Slayer, and then you go chasing after.., her." Harmony couldn't even bring herself to say Rose's name.

"No one's laughing at you, Harmony," he said evenly. The more he saw of Harm these days, the more he wondered just what he'd ever seen in her.

"You.., you..," Harmony groped around for the right word, and as she generally did, got the wrong one. "Unsubstantiated creep." She stormed off, still obviously in a snit.

"Some things never change," Spike observed to himself. He disappeared before he had to talk to anyone else that he really didn't want to talk to.

&&&&&&&

"Good morning, Rose." Wesley greeted her as she walked into her office. Then, he did a double take at her new hairstyle. "What happened to your hair?" he blurted out. "Is this more of Spike's influence?"

"Actually, it was due to the Amalyar demon's influence," she remarked ruefully. "Do you remember seeing anything that said that its blood is acidic?"

"You got demon's blood on you?" Wesley sat down heavily, in her chair. "How did you manage that?"

"It's a long story," Rose warned. "But at least you shouldn't be hearing about anymore deaths because of the Amalyar. If I recall, they're very solitary."

"You know," Wesley remarked. "An encounter with a demon could be interpreted as being work related. At least here, it is. So why don't you just tell me all about it."

"If this is supposed to be an official report," she remarked, "then shouldn't I just be writing it down?"

"Maybe later," he replied. "Right now, I want you to tell me all about it, and I'm not leaving your office until you do. So I'd suggest that you start talking, Rose."

"My boss the slave-driver," she pretended to grumble. "Well, we were walking on the beach, and I saw the demon hiding behind a rock..,"

Wesley sat there through the entire narrative trying to keep his jaw from hitting the floor.

&&&&&&&

Spike popped in to Angel's office. No sign of the poncey bugger. Must be nice to be the big boss, he reflected, set your own hours, do pretty much as you damn well please. He thought about sitting in Angel's chair, that generally was enough to set off a case of the grumpies, then changed his mind and sat dead in the middle of the desk. He'd barely gotten settled in place when the object of his irritation came out of the office's loo, and since he didn't need it for what most people needed it for, Spike guessed that he must have been adding another layer of hair gel on.

"Where have you been?" Angel asked, ignoring the fact that Spike was sitting on his desk, and thereby ruining his fun.

"Where do you think?" Spike smirked at him. "We decided to carry on as is for the time being, thought you'd like to know."

"Sure, it's all I thought about all weekend," Angel said sarcastically. He flung himself down in his chair. "When it all blows up, don't say that I didn't warn you."

"Be at the top of my list," Spike said insincerely. "Say, do you remember all those reference books she was lugging home?"

"Could you give me some warning before you change the subject," Angel groused. "Yes, I remember. What of it?"

"She's been looking for a way to make me like I was before I went up in flames," Spike said, with more than a touch of pride. "Since the very beginning, she's been at it. Credit that, huh?"

Angel looked thoughtful. So Rose was trying to come up with a back-up plan, was she? "That's very nice, Spike. Now would you get your ass off my desk? I've got a ton of paperwork to do." He looked at the stack of papers that Spike had, quite deliberately, he was sure, disarranged. "As usual."

"The price of power," Spike quipped, choosing to go through the desk rather than back over it. "Tell me you ain't lapping it up, paperwork an' all."

"What's the use?" Angel shot back. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Wouldn't want to ruin my record." Spike smirked at him one more time for good measure and disappeared again. He was thinking he ought to see if he could do the vanishing act slowly, a bit at a time. Wouldn't the pouf's face be a sight if he faded out to nothing but a smile, like the Cheshire Cat?

&&&&&&&

Rose nearly levitated out of her seat when her phone rang. She wondered if she would ever get used to the confounded instrument. "Hello, research department, Rose speaking." At least she didn't have to think of anything, just recite a pre-set speech. "What? Oh, yes sir, right away. As soon as I can tell Wesley where I'll be."


	9. Decisions, Decisions

55

Since she had been summoned by Angel himself, Rose didn't think it necessary to have Harmony announce her presence. Harmony had other ideas.

"Just where do you think you're going?" she demanded, moving to stand between Rose and the door.

"Angel called me and asked me to come see him," Rose replied. What in the world was wrong with the girl? She'd hardly had a civil word for Rose since she'd arrived.

"I'm his assistant," Harmony replied, nose in the air. "Don't you think I'd know who Angel wants to see, or not?"

"I'm not in a position to know just what information Angel gives you," Rose pointed out reasonably. "All I know is that he wanted to see me, and you're keeping me waiting out here." She tried stepping around Harmony, but dizzy or not, Harm still had a vampire's reflexes, and kept Rose from reaching the door.

"Think you're something special, do you?" she hissed. "Wesley thinks you're a wonder, you've got Lorne wrapped around your finger, and now you're hobnobbing with the boss. And if all that isn't bad enough, you stand right in the middle of the lobby drooling over my Blondie Bear."

"Blondie Bear?" Rose had never heard the nickname. But it didn't take her long to figure out who Harmony was talking about. "You mean Spike?"

"Just how many guys were you mooning over this morning?" Harm fussed. "Of course I mean Spike. If it hadn't been for you, he would have eventually come to his senses and come back to me. But now you've ruined everything."

Rose decided that this was an argument that she really didn't want to get into. "Harmony, I need to get in to see Angel. And if you'll pardon me saying so, this isn't exactly the sort of discussion to be having during working hours."

As Harmony opened her mouth to say something the door to the office opened. "Harmony when.., oh, there you are, Rose, come in." And Angel escorted Rose into his office leaving a steaming Harmony standing with no one upon whom to vent her anger.

Rose contained herself until Angel had seated her, and then took a seat himself. "Blondie Bear?" She giggled. And then the giggle turned to out and out laughter, and she laughed until there were tears in her eyes.

Angel had grinned at the allusion at first, but then his expression became more serious. "Was Harmony giving you a bad time over Spike?" he asked.

"Trying to," she answered, wiping her eyes. "Did she and Spike.., well, I mean, were they..," A look of total incredulity swept over her features. "Harmony and Spike?"

Angel waved his hand dismissively. "That was over a long time ago. And to be truthful, I don't think Harmony actually wants anything to do with Spike on a romantic level anymore. She just doesn't want anyone else to, either." He leaned back in his chair. "I certainly can't imagine Harmony dealing with the restrictions that come from having a romance with a disembodied spirit. She probably just wants to imagine that Spike will go till the end of days pining away for her. If he's seeing someone else, that destroys the illusion."

"If that's supposed to be an explanation, it didn't help," Rose remarked. "I haven't got the faintest notion of what that all means. It's so.., convoluted it makes me dizzy just trying to follow it. But that isn't why you wanted to see me, is it?"

"No," Angel replied. "But if Harmony gets out of line, I want you to promise to tell me." He gave Rose a stern look. "Promise?"

"I promise," Rose sighed. "But really, Angel, Harmony isn't going to..,"

"You don't know that," he interrupted. "And just remember that you promised. Why didn't you tell me that you were doing research to try to find a way to resurrect Spike?"

"I wasn't sure if you would approve my using Wolfram and Hart materials on a purely personal project," Rose muttered a little shamefacedly. "But I did think it would be a good idea to consider the other options, just in case."

"I understand," Angel said. "But if you had told me about it, I could have, and will, give you access to files that you normally wouldn't be able to see. Did you think that the files you work with were everything that Wolfram and Hart has?"

"It never occurred to me," Rose mumbled. "I'm still having trouble grasping a lot of the nuances of being human. Especially secrets, even though I have to keep them myself. It's just not like that.., there."

"What is it like?" Angel queried. Curiosity aside, any information acquired about The Powers would be of inestimable value.

"All of us are.., sort of connected," Rose tried to explain something totally inhuman in human terms. "We always know what each of us is thinking, so there are no such things as secrets there. There can't be. And it's one of the reasons that I've been having difficulty assimilating." She remembered something else. "I'm not sure whether he was joking or not, but if he wasn't, Spike has some suspicions about me."

"What kind of suspicions?" Angel himself would never have guessed if she hadn't told him. But of course, Spike had spent a lot more time with her.

"He said that he wondered what I was," Rose murmured, remembering. "At one point, he even made a guess that I was an angel, except, he said, that an angel wouldn't have anything to do with him. But he said that he thought that I was more than human, and that I was too good to be true." She gave Angel a thoughtful look. "You know him better than anyone, Liam. Do you think he really meant it? Or was it just his way of paying me a compliment?"

Angel shook his head. "I may know Spike better than anyone, Rose, but that just means that I know how unpredictable he can be. Do you think it would make any difference to him? Knowing how he feels about you?"

"I know how he feels about me," Rose replied softly. "But I also know his opinions about us.., The Powers That Be, I mean. And to put it mildly, it isn't a very high opinion."

"I hate to say this," Angel murmured gently. "Will his opinion mean anything by the time he finds out? I mean, won't you be going back? You're not planning on telling him before that, are you?"

"I can't," Rose said sadly. "I shouldn't have even told you, but I had to tell someone. I'm sorry that I dumped it all on you, Angel."

Angel shrugged. "I'm used to it. And it is a pretty big secret to have to keep. Sometimes you need to have someone you can talk to that knows about your secrets and accepts you anyway." He stopped for a long, thoughtful moment. "Why can you tell me, and not Spike?"

"I'm afraid of getting his hopes up," Rose replied. "I want him to have a body, to be a person again, but as determined as I am to find a way, the chances seem to be dwindling. I couldn't face him after disappointing him like that."

Angel grabbed a piece of paper and pen and began writing. He handed the paper to Rose. "Here are the access codes to the classified information. Don't let anyone else see it, or use it. There are things there that even Wesley would have to ask permission to view," he informed her. Then, he got a mystified look on his face. "Shouldn't you know this already? Like being able to pull that stuff about the Amalyar demon out of thin air."

"Without trying to be insulting," Rose said. "There is a limited amount of space in a human brain. I had to choose carefully, remembering what I needed for the job I had to get, not to mention most of the things that an adult human has known so much of their life that it almost seems like instinct. Plus, leaving room to learn new things. So no, I don't know everything, and right now, I don't even have any powers. I'm just as human as anyone you might meet on the street. I can't even contact my peers, I have to wait for them to contact me."

Angel stood. "I've kept you long enough. Wesley is probably frothing at the mouth by now. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help."

"You've already been more help than I could ever have anticipated." Rose stood also. As she started towards the door, she turned, a look of dismay and confusion on her face. "You were just joking about Wesley, weren't you?"

&&&&&&&

Harmony, thankfully was nowhere in sight when Rose emerged from Angel's office. She started her journey back to the research department, but rounding a corner, bumped into a slight figure wearing a lab coat and carrying a stack of papers that went everywhere.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," Rose apologized. "Fred, isn't it? I don't believe I've seen you since my first day when Wesley was taking me around." She bent down to help reorganize the chaos, first tucking the paper she had gotten from Angel in her pocket to keep it from getting lost in the welter.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," Fred answered. "I'm always off in another world, not really paying attention to where I am." She took a good look at Rose. "I think I remember meeting you. But didn't you have longer hair?"

"Demon's blood can be hard on the appearance." Rose grinned at her. "Not to mention the wardrobe."

"You're telling me," Fred said with heartfelt sincerity. "I guess you've really been thrown in the deep end here, haven't you?"

"I guess I have," Rose replied, gathering up the last of Fred's papers and handing them to her. The two women stood. "It was nice seeing you again, Fred, but I've been away from my desk long enough."

"I understand," Fred replied. "Wesley can be something of a slave-driver sometimes." A shadow passed over Fred's face momentarily, and Rose remembered that Fred had once been a slave. "Well, see ya later." Fred went on her way, and Rose went on hers.

Surprisingly, from Rose's point of view, Wesley wasn't hovering around her office waiting to hear what she had been up to. She sat down at her computer and got to work. Her official work. The other, well, that could wait until her lunch break, or whenever.

&&&&&&

Wesley was walking down the hallway outside of Rose's office talking to Gunn when a piercing scream came from inside the office. The two men burst into the office, each producing weapons that they had concealed about their persons. They saw Rose, flattened against a wall with a look of sheer terror on her face.

"Rose?" Wesley went towards her cautiously, weapon still at the ready, and looking around. He didn't see anything that would have produced such a reaction. "What happened, Rose? What's wrong?"

Rose, eyes wide with terror, pointed at her computer. Wesley wondered if she had already snapped from the pressure, or if perhaps something she had read had had this effect on her. Some of the research texts could be pretty gruesome.

Gunn walked over to the desk, and instead of the monitor, looked at the keyboard and saw the cause of the disturbance. "Wow, that's a pretty big one," he remarked. He stashed his weapon, then chased the spider into his cupped hand. He left the room.

Wesley allowed himself a mental sigh of relief. Vampires, ghosts and demons she could handle, but apparently his assistant was phobic about spiders. "It's all right now, Rose," he said soothingly. "It's gone now."

"Are you sure there aren't any more?" Rose hadn't as yet budged an inch. "I was just sitting there working, and it.., it dropped down in front of me." She was so pale she could give the vampires a run for their money.

Gunn stepped back in. "I, uh, got rid of it." He grinned sheepishly, and Wes suddenly had a good idea what had happened to the spider. There was a washroom just a couple of doors down. Gunn took a look at Rose. "Damn, she's a whiter shade of pale if I ever saw one." Since Rose still seemed rooted to the spot, he wheeled her chair over to her and got her sat down. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I think so," Rose muttered, suddenly feeling an acute attack of embarrassment. Everything that she had done since she had been here and to be frightened half to death by such a small, harmless creature. But.., ugh! She shuddered.

Spike suddenly appeared. "Sorry to interrupt your busy day, luv," he began, then he saw Rose, really saw her, her pallor, Wes and Gunn hovering around concernedly. "What happened?"

"A spider dropped onto her computer keyboard and.., er.., startled her," Wesley explained.

Gunn was in Spike's way, so he walked right through him, and knelt in front of Rose. "Sweetheart?" he said tentatively. "Rose, talk to me, babe."

She managed a shaky smile. "I feel like such an idiot." She looked at the three men around her. "I'm sorry I caused so much trouble." She spoke as to the group, but she was looking at Spike when she said it.

Gunn glanced at Wesley, and Wesley cocked his head toward the door, and the two of them left.

"You're not an idiot, pet," Spike said softly. He neither knew nor cared that their audience had departed. "But I'll be damned if I can figure you out. Didn't turn a hair when faced with a big, nasty demon covered with barnacles, but you go into hysterics over a little bitty spider."

"It was enormous," Rose stated stubbornly. "And I didn't have any warning. Besides, it was just so.., creepy."

Spike finally noticed that the others had left. "You want me to have a quick look around here, pet? Make sure the big, nasty eight-legged thingy didn't have a family?"

"Please," Rose breathed.

&&&&&&&

As they resumed their journey through the halls and corridors of the huge building, Wesley began telling Gunn about Rose's encounter with the Amalyar demon. The expurgated version, since that was all he'd heard. Rose hadn't mentioned the part about Angel cutting her clothes off.

Gunn seemed to listen intently enough, but when Wes finished the narrative, it seemed that only one fact of the whole story had stuck in his head. "She had a date with Spike?"

&&&&&&

"All clear, luv." Spike finished his search of the office. "No more spiders laying in wait to terrorize you."

"Why were you here?" Rose finally had her wits about her. "I thought we'd agreed that you weren't going to be around me while I'm working."

"I know," Spike mumbled, a little shamefaced. "I just had to see you for a minute. Couldn't wait till this afternoon to see you." He gave her a dazzling smile. "Just had to pop in and tell you that I love you."

The smile was what did it. It absolutely melted Rose's heart. "I love you, too," she replied, returning the smile. "Now why don't you be good and let me get some work done?"

"I'll be good," Spike promised. He faded out till nothing was left but his smile. He reappeared for a moment. "Well, I'll be damned. I did it." Then, he was gone.


	10. Getting a Life

60

Time passed pleasantly, for the most part. Rose happily slogged through Wesley's research during working hours, then pursued her own line of inquiries in her free time. Thanks to Angel's access codes, the amount of information available to her was not to be believed. If she hadn't been able to narrow down the search, it would have taken her several human lifetimes to winnow through the lot of it.

And she did actually enjoy doing the work, it was immensely interesting. It was her own efforts that disappointed, because on failing to find what she wanted, Rose felt that she was failing Spike.

Around the middle of the week, she was starting to feel a little stressed. She stared with a total lack of interest at her dinner.

Spike was seated opposite her, as usual. He hung around most of the time she wasn't working, sometimes helping with the research, others just talking with her, or even just being around.

"You know that's never gonna heal if you keep picking at it," Spike observed mildly. When Rose looked up at him with a puzzled visage, he rolled his eyes. "Your food. It's a joke, luv." His expression became concerned. "What's wrong, Rose?"

"It's just so frustrating," she burst out.

"It certainly is," Spike agreed, winking at her.

She started at him in incredulity for a moment, then giggled. "That wasn't what I was talking about," she replied. Then, an impish gleam lit up her eyes and she added, "Blondie Bear."

"Oh bugger," Spike muttered in disgust. Now that he had Rose, insomuch as he did have her, he really didn't want to be reminded of his time with Harmony. Then the light bulb lit up. "When were you talking to Harm?"

"I had to go see Angel one morning," Rose explained. "And Harmony felt compelled to give me a piece of her mind."

Spike gave a snort of laughter. "That couldn't of taken long," he observed. "Harm gave you a hard time, did she?"

"It wasn't that bad," Rose answered in soothing tones. Then, she grinned. "When were you going to get around to telling me about you and Harmony?"

"Never," Spike said flatly. "I'm not exactly proud of myself where Harmony is concerned." He saw that she was still smiling broadly. "And what's so bloody amusing?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm sorry, love," Rose apologized. "It's just that the thought of you and Harmony..," She let out one brief giggle, then suppressed it, but her eyes were still twinkling with laughter.

Spike started to look picked upon, until something she said filtered through. "You called me love, luv," he observed in awed tones. "That's almost enough to make my whole non-existence worth while."

Rose blushed. "I may not be able to do anything for you, William," she said softly, not realizing she'd slipped up. "But I can tell you that I love you."

"Don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that," Spike remarked. "When did you find out my name was William?"

"I've known for a while now," Rose hedged. Well, that wasn't really a lie, but it was still deceiving. Then another half-truth. "You are mentioned in quite a bit of the literature."

"Mmm-hmm." Spike could tell by how fidgety she got that his lady wasn't telling him the whole truth, but decided to let it pass on this occasion. Probably something Angel let slip, and Rose, being Rose, was trying to cover for the pouf. "S'all right, pet. Be the woman of mystery if you must," he remarked, not knowing how accurate the observation was. "And stop beating yourself up for not finding a way to bring me back. To be brutally honest, I doubt that you're going to hit lucky on that score."

"I won't know until I've explored all the possibilities," Rose said, getting a stubborn set to her features.

"I know that, pet," Spike murmured. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up is all, 'cause I think you're bound to be disappointed if you do." He glanced at her still mostly untouched meal. "Now be a good girl and eat up," he ordered. "I happen to know you haven't had anything to eat all day. Don't want you keeling over from malnutrition."

"Nag, nag, nag," Rose grumbled softly. But there was a twinkle in her eye, and a hint of a smile on her face. She picked up her fork and started eating.

&&&&&&&

Angel entered his office the next day to find Spike there waiting for him

"You're here awfully early," Angel remarked. "I thought you'd be pestering Rose or something."

"I don't 'pester' Rose," Spike said evenly. "Happens the lady enjoys my company. But she wanted to get in early today to continue her quest for her personal Holy Grail."

"You don't think she's going to find anything, do you?" Angel queried.

Spike shook his head. "Warned her against gettin' her hopes up too," he remarked. "Afraid it didn't take, though. I swear she almost wants it as bad as I do."

You have no idea, Spike, Angel thought, but kept it to himself. "Spike some of us have a busy day ahead," he hinted.

Spike, as usual, refused to take a hint. "You busy tomorrow night?" he asked.

Angel had been more than half expecting this, and didn't fell really comfortable saying either yes or no. He decided on delaying tactics. "Why, this is so sudden," he cooed in syrupy tones, gazing into Spike's eyes.

Spike was thoroughly disgusted. "Push off, you big pouf," he growled. "Always did think you leaned that way. And you know damned well why I asked and it has nothing to do with a desire for your company."

Angel laughed, but there was a tense edge to his laughter. Then, he conceded defeat. Both Spike and Rose were going to get hurt, and get hurt badly. Might as well let them enjoy such time as they had together. He sat down heavily. "I hope you know that I'm doing this mostly for Rose," he mumbled, the tone of his voice announcing his concession more clearly than his words. "I don't give a rat's ass if your feelings get hurt."

"Back at you." Spike flipped him off. "You might find it difficult to credit, but I'm doing this mostly for Rose, too."

&&&&&&&

"Hi, Rose." Fred breezed into her office. "Wesley said you had that sourcebook I needed?"

"Yes, he called me and told me you'd be by for it," Rose replied. She reached across her desk and picked up the volume in question and handed it to her. "Here you are, Fred. Was there anything else you needed?" Rose really hated giving Fred that book just now, it was one she was doing some of her own questing in, and she wasn't done with it yet. Still, company business first, and besides, she had a lot of other sources to check out. She just hated jumping from one to another, being of a very methodical bent.

"Are you busy tomorrow night?" Fred asked out of the blue. "I know it's short notice and all, but you seem really nice, and I thought maybe the two of us could have a girl's night out and get acquainted."

Rose thought hard and fast. True, Spike hadn't actually announced any plans for tomorrow night, but if he sprang it on her now, she'd hate to have a previous engagement. "Could I get back to you later, Fred?" she asked. "I'm kind of seeing someone, and even though we don't have any solid plans for tomorrow night yet, I'd hate to have to tell him I'm doing something else if I find he's already made arrangements." Seeing Fred's face fall a bit, she added, "I'd like to spend some time with you, Fred, you seem really nice too, but I don't want to hurt..," Before she could get Spike's name out, he appeared.

"I know, I know," he said , holding his hands up in surrender. "I promised I wouldn't bother you during working hours. I just wanted to make sure some other bloke didn't beat my time and tie you up for tomorrow night." He noticed the room's other occupant. "Hello, Fred."

"And what would I be doing going out with someone else?" Rose asked. "Consider your message delivered, Spike. Now, do you mind? Fred and I were having a little girl talk."

"And you have the nerve to complain that I waste your time?" Spike grumbled, then disappeared.

Fred had listened to the whole exchange with an open mouth. "I'd heard that you and Spike were seeing each other," she mumbled. "But I guess I didn't really believe it till now." She grinned suddenly. "Well, since tomorrow night's out, how about Saturday?"

"I don't think there'll be any problem there," Rose agreed. "I hope you have a car, Fred, because I can't drive."

"Not to worry," Fred assured her. "I'll pick you up. Give me your address and I'll see you, say around seven?"

Rose scribbled out her address and handed it to Fred. "I'll be waiting."

&&&&&&

When Rose finally stopped for her lunch break, she could feel a ghostly presence, even though she couldn't see Spike. He was obviously 'being good'. "It's all right, Spike," she said, turning away from her desk. "I'm taking my lunch break now, so it's not technically working hours."

Spike immediately appeared. "How do you do that?" he asked. "No one else can tell I'm there if I'm not visible."

Rose shrugged, she really didn't know herself. "I just get the feeling I'm being watched," she replied. "And since I only know one invisible person who's the least bit interested in watching me..,"

Spike laughed. "And it's pretty interesting watching sometimes too, luv. So, what's the deal with you and little Miss Science?"

"We're going to have a girl's night out on Saturday," Rose said. "You know, since I've been here, I haven't actually made any female friends." Seeing Spike's face fall, she added, "I thought you wanted me to get out more."

Spike sat down in the room's only other chair. "I did, I did," he admitted. "And I shouldn't bitch about it now that you've finally taken my advice." He shook his head. "I just don't like sharing you, that's all."

"If it's that important to you, I'll cancel with Fred," Rose offered. "I think she'd understand."

"No," Spike said. "You do need other friends, luv, I know that. Even know that sometimes a woman needs another woman to talk to." He gave her a stern look. "Just you see that you don't let any other guy pick you up, understand? You're my bird, pet."

"I don't want another guy," Rose answered, letting herself drift in the intense gaze from his beautiful blue eyes. "Just you."

"As long as we've got that all sorted out." Spike smiled at her. "Consider yourself well and thoroughly kissed, luv." He vanished.

&&&&&&

Spike drifted around the building, wondering what to do to fill his time before Rose got off work. He was glad Rose was making other friends, it was good, it was healthy, it was what she needed. But it also bummed him out considerably that she was spending a weekend night with someone else. He thought of going to aggravate Angel, but having wrung yet another favor out of him decided that it might not be in his best interests to do so. He had reached the reception area when he had made the decision, and was about to leave, when he spotted Harmony at her desk, doing her nails. He thought he'd just have a friendly little chat with Harm.

"'Lo, Harm." Harmony startled at seeing Spike suddenly appear on her desk, smeared nail polish half-way up one finger.

"Darn it," she fussed. She made quick repairs, before the polish had a chance to dry. "So, have you finally decided to come crawling back to me, Blondie Bear? Because if you have, you're wasting your time."

"Stow it, Harm," Spike said, feeling the aggravation she could always bring out in him starting to rise. "I just wanted to talk to you, old friends and all that."

"Yeah, right," Harmony scoffed. "You didn't even talk to me when we were sleeping together, so why start now." Finally, an idea slowly seeped into her head. "This is because of her, isn't it?" Spike had yet to hear his ex mention Rose by name.

"What have you got against Rose, Harmony?" Spike didn't even bother trying to deny it, since it was true. "I know for a fact that she's never done anything to you, but you, on the other hand seem to have had it in for her since day one."

"I just don't like her," Harmony pouted. "Everyone's so nice to her, and they hardly even seem to know that I exist."

Aha, that explained a lot. Harm had taken a direct hit to the ego, and it rankled. "And what? You have to be a bitch to her just because you're jealous, Harm?" Spike had tried to sound teasing, joking around, but he was too serious to pull it off. "I thought you might have grown up a little more than that."

"You're a fine one to talk, Blondie Bear," Harmony hissed. "I suppose that you thought it was incredibly mature to be screwing me when you were thinking about someone else the whole time."

"I won't deny that I treated you like dirt," Spike admitted. "I won't even try to defend myself by saying that I didn't have a soul at the time. But for what little it's worth, Harm, I am sorry."

"You're just saying that to get me to back off from your girlfriend," Harmony said, but there was a hint of doubt in her eyes. "She's so.., sweet, that it reeks. How could you, Blondie Bear? Soul or not?"

"Could you quit calling me that?" Spike asked. "And could we please let bygones be bygones?" He got off of her desk. "I don't believe that either one of us would want to pick up where we left off, but could we please, not be enemies?" Spike had meant to say friends, but hadn't been able to manage it. He didn't really want to be friends with Harmony, he just wanted her to leave Rose alone.

"No promises," Harmony warned. "But I'm not going looking for trouble. You keep your girlfriend out of my face, and I'll leave her alone."

"Not quite good enough, Harm," Spike answered. "Rose works here too. And sometimes she even has to see your boss. And to do that she has to get by you." He couldn't actually threaten Harmony, and moreover, didn't want to, but he thought of Rose, first and foremost. "You might try getting to know her, Harm. Might surprise yourself and find that you like her."

"That'll be the day." Harmony finished putting the final touches on her nails. "Listen, Spike. I'll go as far as to say that I'll be polite to her, here in the office, but that's it. If I see her outside of Wolfram and Hart..," she trailed off, having talked faster than her brain could work.

"It's a start, I suppose," Spike conceded. "Thanks, Harm. I do appreciate it." He disappeared.

"What does he see in her?" Harmony wondered aloud. Then she shrugged and went back to work.


	11. Carrying On

65

Angel had actually managed to achieve a few moments in which there was neither work nor phone to disturb him or prevent him from leaning back and putting his feet up. He should have known it wouldn't last.

A wad of paper hit him dead center of his forehead. He caught the paper as it bounced off, and flung it back in the direction it had come from without sitting up.

"Hey! That woulda hit me right in the eye, you nit," Spike complained. "Went right through me bleedin' head."

"You're breaking my heart," Angel said sarcastically. "You know, I just knew that if I had five minutes with nothing to do, you'd have to put in an appearance, Spike." He sat up. "In some ways, you're as predictable as a hangover."

"But a lot more fun," Spike remarked. "It's a good thing I dropped in on Rose this morning. I almost got beaten to the punch for tomorrow night."

"Someone else asked her out?" Angel's eyebrows shot up. "So how come you're not all bent out of shape about it?"

"'Cause it was Fred doing the asking, that's why," Spike explained. "They're on for Saturday night. Some kind of girl thing."

Angel's brow furrowed. "Does she even have any friends, or acquaintances outside of Wolfram and Hart?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Spike replied. "She did tell me that she was new in town, though. Give the lady a little time to assimilate. The way she is, I bet she grew up in some little wide spot in the road no one's ever heard of."

"No doubt," Angel agreed, remembering just why Rose hadn't had time to make friends. Spike had no idea just how well she had.., what? assimilated? He sat there carefully counting on his fingers. "Better watch it Spike. Your reputation might begin to suffer if people knew that you used a four syllable word."

"I know words you never even heard of," Spike bragged. "Just because I don't constantly explore the outer limits of my vocabulary doesn't mean I don't have it."

"You ever think of giving up the 'bad boy' image?" Angel asked. "You know, grow up, get a respectable job, act like an adult."

"Piss on that," Spike said rudely. "Considering how regularly I used to get the crap kicked out of me when I was a wimpy little nobody, I think I'll stick to the current persona, thank you. 'Sides if Rose doesn't have a problem with it, I sure as hell don't."

"Have you worked out tomorrow night's itinerary?" Angel started fiddling around with a pen, tapping it on the desk top. Mostly just to irritate Spike. "Or are we just going to have a repeat of last week? And do you intend to tie up my Friday nights on an ongoing basis?"

Spike held up his index finger. "One, no, I haven't." The middle finger joined the first. "Two, no, I want to vary things a bit, too early in the relationship to fall into a rut." A third finger joined the other two. "And three, what difference does it make? You don't have a life anyway."

Angel sighed. "Well, you'd better get the particulars worked out by tomorrow night. So why don't you run along and do that and leave me in peace for just a little bit?"

Spike started into his Cheshire Cat routine, and was irritated no end that Angel didn't even watch the whole act.

&&&&&&&

Rose got caught up in doing her own research, and had forgotten the time, when Wesley walked in. He glanced at the screen, which she hurriedly cleared. But not quickly enough.

"What was that, Rose?" Wes asked suspiciously.

"Just some personal research I'm doing," Rose answered, not quite able to keep a guilty look off her face. "I didn't realize how late it had gotten. I'm sorry, Wesley. I'll stay late to make up for it if you'd like."

"Right now, I'm more concerned with just what exactly you were using in your personal research," Wesley remarked. "Because it looked like a highly classified file. So classified, in fact, that I have to ask permission to access it. Have you been hacking into the system, Rose?"

"Of course not!" Rose said indignantly. "I wouldn't do anything like that. Besides, I haven't the slightest idea how." She saw that Wes' face still looked suspicious. "I got the codes legitimately, Wesley, honestly I did."

"The only person who could have given you those codes is Angel," he stated. "Care to tell me just why he felt you should have them?"

"Because he took an interest in my research and wanted to facilitate it," Rose mumbled.

"And might your department head know just what that research involves?" Wesley was looking decidedly put out.

"Finding a way to make Spike corporeal," she replied in a small voice. "Trying to, anyway. I haven't had any luck so far, though. Unless you count bad luck."

Wesley's look became sympathetic. "I see," he said quietly. "This is very important to you, isn't it, Rose?"

"You couldn't possibly imagine how important," Rose remarked dryly. "But I am very sorry that I let it cut into my working hours. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't." Wesley made a feeble stab at sounding severe, but his heart wasn't in it. "Why don't you get back to your paid work now, hmm?"

"Certainly, sir." She figured that she'd better be extra respectful at the moment. Wesley saw through it, though, and laughed. Then, he left. But Rose just had a feeling.., She picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"Harmony? This is Rose in research. May I speak to Angel a moment?" She waited a few minutes while Harmony put her on hold, thankful that Harmony didn't take the opportunity to snipe at her. "Angel? I'm not sure, but Wesley may be coming up to speak to you. I lost track of time, and he caught me going through classified files. I'm pretty sure he believed that I came by the codes honestly, but he still didn't look pleased. Yes, well, I just thought you ought to.., Oh, he is. Good-bye then."

Rose sighed. She hadn't misread the situation. Wesley had entered Angel's office while she was still on the phone with him.

&&&&&&

"Angel, I'd like to have a word with you, if I may," Wesley planted himself right in front of the desk. "I can certainly understand you taking an interest in Rose's pet project, but I'm somewhat put out that you gave one of my subordinates access codes to highly classified information without at least informing me."

"Do you believe that Rose shouldn't be trusted with such sensitive material?" Angel asked. "Or do you think that she can't handle the information safely?"

Wesley blinked. Whatever else he had expected, he hadn't thought that Angel would go on the attack. "Well, neither one, to be honest. She's eminently sensible. But that's not the point. As department head, I feel that I ought to know what is going on in my department."

"It isn't exactly going on in your department," Angel pointed out. "Listen, Wes, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it, but it honestly didn't occur to me to do so. This is, as you said, Rose's pet project. And I think you can understand why I might take an interest in it as well. It's not even technically a company project. I simply allowed her access to the information to try to facilitate her research. And I do trust her, implicitly, or I would never have given her those codes. As a matter of fact, I offered, since it didn't occur to her to ask."

Wesley found himself neatly hulled and sunk before getting a real chance to get a shot off.

&&&&&&

The comedy club that Spike had chosen as the sight of his second date with Rose was turning out to be a real bust. Wouldn't it just have to be that the night he'd choose to come here that the line-up would be some of the most boring no-talents you could possibly imagine. Rose's lovely laugh that he prized so much, had lost a great deal of its allure by being forced. Angel looked bored to tears, and if Rose hadn't been along, Spike would have left long since. But he hadn't made a contingency plan, so this was it. If it didn't work out, there was nothing to do but take Rose home, and a large part of the point was to get her out and about. Angel had left to get Rose another soft drink, Spike hadn't been able to talk her into trying anything alcoholic, when a couple of mid-level suits from the law firm sauntered over to the table and made themselves at home.

"Well, well, well, look here," the first one said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that the spook has a date."

"Hey, sweetcheeks," the other one said. "Why don't you drop the transparent one there and hook up with us. We'll take you to a real class establishment, not like this dive."

"It's not the class of the establishment that concerns me," Rose remarked quietly. "But the class of the company. Given that, I believe that I'll stick with Spike."

Spike had been about to jump in, but since Rose was handling it so well, he just sat there and smirked at the suits.

"Maybe she likes slumming," the first one slurred, they were both fairly well marinated. The first one had taken Angel's seat, next to Rose, and he familiarly put an arm around her shoulders, and failed to take a hint when she tried to shrug him off.

"Push off, you git," Spike growled. "The lady's with me. And in case you haven't got brains enough to take a hint, she doesn't care for your company."

"Hey, the spook speaks." The second one laughed. "So what if we're hitting on your girl, Casper? What are you going to do about it? Say boo?"

Both of them thought the remark uproariously funny, and started in laughing. Rose tried again to get the jerk to unhand her, but to no avail.

Rose turned to look him in the eye and said quietly, "Were you planning on using that hand again? Ever?" Her soft gray eyes had gone as hard as agate, and even Spike had to concede that she hit on the right note. Problem was, he didn't think she had the know-how or stomach to carry through with her threat.

Instead of being intimidated, the idiot squeezed her closer. "You don't want to threaten me," he laughed. "I've been at Wolfram and Hart long enough to learn a few things. You really want to be nice to me, honey."

"Wrong, and wrong again," Rose replied. She casually reached up and grabbed hold of the man's pinky and bent it backwards till it gave an audible snap.

He gave a yelp of pain. "Why you little bitch," he snarled. "You're going to pay for that one, baby." He stood up, and grabbed Rose with his good hand and yanked her out of her seat.

"Get your hands off the lady." Angel had come up behind them, unnoticed in the crowd. He studied their faces carefully. "When you show up to work Monday, you'll be escorted by security to your offices just long enough to clear out your personal effects. You're both fired."

"Wait just a minute," the second one protested. "We didn't do anything to her, just a friendly little chat. Then she goes and breaks his finger."

"And maybe it's time that you boys grew up enough to realize that when a lady says no, she means no." Angel hadn't backed off an inch. "Now if the two of you don't get the hell away from her, I may be forced to take steps." He gave them an evil grin. "And I guarantee that you'll have a lot more broken than one little finger."

The two ex-employees exchanged frightened glances and immediately left, not just the table, but the club itself.

Angel seated Rose, then resumed his seat. "You all right, Rose?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "You didn't have to fire them on my account, Angel."

"I fired them because I happen not to like the type," Angel stated. "I would have done it no matter what woman I saw them harassing. It just happened to be you."

Spike shook his head in disgust. So far, his track record at planning dates with Rose was taking a beating. First the demon, now a couple of drunken predators. Still.., He tried to salvage the situation. "I still can't believe that you're the same woman that went into hysterics over a spider, pet." He grinned at her. "I never thought you'd have the gumption to actually hurt the wanker."

"I didn't like him touching me," Rose replied. "I feel almost as.., contaminated as I did when that demon spurted blood all over me."

"I hate to be a wet blanket," Angel remarked. "But I suggest that we cut the evening short tonight. What do you say, Rose?"

Rose looked expectantly at Spike, silently asking his opinion. "Your call, pet," he said softly, still happy that she had wanted his opinion over Angel's. "I've got to admit that this night has pretty much been a bust. Sorry, luv."

"You couldn't have known," she said gently. She realized that both of her escorts were still watching her, waiting for her to make a decision. "We might as well leave," she remarked. "To be entirely honest, Spike. I'm perfectly happy just sitting at home and talking to you. You don't need to take me out to show me a good time."

Spike felt both much better and much worse. "You might think a little differently if I had been able to make better choices." He got up abruptly. "C'mon, pet. Let's blow this dump."

Angel stood. "Maybe the two of you should wait while I bring the car around. Just in case Rose's admirers are still hanging around waiting to try something."

"I'd rather we all stayed together," Rose said quietly. "Besides, I'm sure you'd be able to defend us." She gave Angel a smile that soured Spike's mood considerably.

"Uns pour tous, Tous pour uns," Angel said with a grin.

"Give it a rest," Spike muttered disgustedly. "You are most definitely not a bloody musketeer." He looked from one to the other of them, and nearly did a vanishing act. Rose looked like she had sensed his intentions, and her face fell. He sighed. "Come along, pet. Another quiet night at home it is." He still couldn't quite believe that after how badly he'd screwed up that she still wanted to be with him. The thought made him smile. He had screwed up. And yet, she still wanted to be with him. He was beginning to hope harder than ever that her research efforts hit paydirt.


	12. Exchanging Confidences

70

Spike was uncharacteristically silent on the trip to Rose's apartment. He even considered not staying, but as if sensing this, she turned a pleading glance at him, and his resolve crumbled to dust.

When they reached the apartment, Rose turned and gave him a long, thoughtful look. A very long look.

Her gaze was starting to unnerve Spike. "Look, luv, I've been thinking..," he began.

"So that's what the trouble is," Rose remarked quietly. Perfectly seriously too, at least at first, then she ruined the effort with a giggle.

Spike grinned despite himself. "Now see here, sweetheart," he protested. "I'm totally serious. Twice now we've gone out, and twice now you've been in danger because I couldn't protect you."

Rose shrugged. "So we don't go out, if it's that much of a problem. Answer me this, though. If something comes up tomorrow night, do you think Fred will be able to protect me? Or maybe it's just that you consider me completely helpless."

She had him backed into a corner now. Spike struggled to find something to say that wouldn't just get him in deeper. "Oh hell," he muttered. "It's not you, it's me, pet. I just feel so totally bloody useless."

Her rising temper began to ebb away. "Then you know how I feel," Rose said softly. "Because I've been trying as hard as I can and I can't do anything to help you, either."

"The cases aren't parallel, precious girl," Spike pointed out. He shadowed Rose to the kitchen, watched her get herself a cold drink, then followed her back to the living room and sat beside her on the sofa.

"I just don't see how you can say that," she said. He couldn't believe how utterly charming she looked with her forehead wrinkled in thought. "You don't protect me because you aren't able to. The same reason that I don't restore your body. If I find the right spell, the necessary artifact, then both problems are solved. Looked at that way, the failure is entirely mine."

"Oh no you don't," he argued. "You are most definitely not taking responsibility for my deficiencies." He looked into her soft gray eyes, and lost it again. "I keep thinking that if I really loved you, I'd get the hell away from you before something really bad happens to you. Because I'm useless to you. Maybe I don't love you as much as I thought I did."

"Or maybe you love me so much that you can't stay away." Rose bit her lip, trying to keep from crying. "I wish you wouldn't talk like that, Spike. It feels like someone's sticking a knife in my heart and twisting it. Can't you just accept the fact that I love you no matter what? No matter what limitations you have, I love you."

"Damned if I do and damned if I don't," Spike observed. Despite his good intentions, he caved in. He just couldn't stand to see her so unhappy. "I'm sorry, luv. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But I'm afraid that that's going to happen no matter what. So, I guess that I'll stick around until you see the light and get tired of me."

"It'll never happen," Rose vowed. "So why don't we forget about St. Spike the martyr? I really don't care for him much at all. I prefer the Spike that wants to see me laugh. The one who talks me into wearing outlandish outfits because he thinks I look nice in them. The Spike who watches me sleep to make sure that I'll wake up again. The person who looks at me like the one in that picture." She indicated Angel's drawing. "That's the Spike I fell in love with. The one I want to be with."

"You're a very stubborn lady, pet," Spike observed. "Against my better judgment, I'll give in." He smiled wryly. "Truth to tell, my heart wasn't in it, but I had to give it a shot."

&&&&&&

So far, the evening had been a fairly easy one for Rose. All she had to do was ask an occasional question, and Fred would answer it, at length. She didn't understand a fraction of what Fred was saying, but her bubbly enthusiasm was so friendly and well-meant, that she could hardly be accused of being a bore.

"Oh my goodness." Fred finally realized how much she had been rattling on. "You must think I'm so rude to go on and on like that."

"Not at all," Rose replied. "You like your work, you're good at it, and you like sharing what you know. From what I've seen, Fred, you're a very fortunate person." She started disinterestedly painting her toenails, as their girls night out had more or less become a girls night in and possibly a sleepover.

"But you like your work too, don't you?" Fred asked. "I've heard that you've practically set the entire research department on it's ear. They are totally impressed with how good you are."

Rose grinned, but it was embarrassment as much as anything, and her face started to go hot. "I don't think I'm all that impressive, Fred. All I do is look things up. You create new things, and figure out ways to solve problems, not on the same level as what I do at all."

"Enough with the shop talk," Fred decided. "I want to hear what's with you and Spike. Just about everybody is talking about it."

"Everybody?" Rose looked dismayed. "Don't they have lives of their own? Besides, I don't see why they would care one way or the other."

"People love to talk," Fred pointed out. "And in a place the size of Wolfram and Hart, well, it's like living in a small town. Everyone knows everyone else's business. Speaking for myself, I think it's terribly romantic." Fred got a little dreamy eyed. "Star crossed lovers and all that."

"Who says that a scientist can't have a little romance in her soul?" Rose observed. "Fred, I did want to ask you a sort of serious question. Just your opinion on something."

"Fire away," Fred replied. "I owe you just for sitting through all my ravings."

"It's about Spike," Rose said, not sure about putting the thing as bluntly with Fred as she had with Wesley and Angel.

"Surprise, surprise." Fred smiled. "Spike is a terrible flirt, but I'm sure he didn't really mean anything..,"

"Oh no." The blush bloomed in full force. "I wasn't going to ask anything like that," she mumbled. "I just wanted to know what you thought.., or rather how you felt about.., about whether or not you think Spike deserves to go to hell."

"I'm not sure I'm the person to ask," Fred answered. "I don't exactly have an objective opinion on the subject."

"I wasn't looking for one," Rose assured her. "I just want to know what your feelings are about it."

"He likes to make wise-cracks all the time, no matter who is the victim," Fred mused. "Especially if it's Angel. He can be rude and obnoxious when he wants to be. But I think deep down, he's really a nice, gentle person. So, no, I don't think he deserves to go to hell. If I had thought that, I wouldn't have put so much work into trying to bring him back."

"So you felt that way even before he saved your life?" Rose re-capped the nail polish and wiggled her toes. She couldn't imagine that anyone would look at her feet enough to make it worth the effort.

"Put a lot of time and a whole lot of Wolfram and Hart's money into it." Fred grimaced, remembering that little conference with Angel and Eve. "The saddest part of all, was that it did work, just on the wrong person."

"But if it had worked on the right person you would have died," Rose pointed out. "How many people could make a choice like that," she wondered aloud.

"I can't imagine that many people have been in Spike's particular position," Fred said matter-of-factly. "But I see your point. Spike may be a pain in the butt to a lot of people, but I trust him."

"I just wish he could trust himself." Rose sighed. "Fred, tell me again why we're doing this? I don't mean the talking part, I mean..," She waved her hand in a sweeping gesture at the chaos of make-up and munchies around them.

"Didn't you go on sleep-overs as a teenager?" Fred asked. "I mean, I lived a pretty sheltered life, but even I spent the occasional weekend over at a girlfriends house, playing with the make-up, eating junk food and talking about boys."

"So we're regressing?" Rose guessed.

Fred sighed. She found that she really liked Rose, but she wasn't sure she understood her. "Something like that," she answered.

&&&&&&

"Isn't there anyone else, anyone at all you can bother?" said Angel irritably. He'd been trying to read, but hadn't gotten through one whole paragraph yet.

"I can't remember being at such a loose end since Rose got here," Spike confessed. "Can't believe it's only been a couple of weeks. In some ways, it seems like a lifetime. I just don't know what to do when she's not around."

"I'm surprised that you haven't crashed in on their ladies night," Angel observed.

"I wasn't invited," Spike pointed out.

"Doesn't stop you from hanging around me and driving me up the wall." Angel finally gave up on the book and put it down. If Spike felt like talking, then talk he would. And keep at it till Angel paid attention.

"Well, that's different, ain't it?" Spike's eyes twinkled merrily. "I think I'd rather tackle a pack of hungry demons before I'd bust in on a pair of gossiping women. And don't try to tell me you don't feel the same way." He'd been wandering around restlessly. Right now he was by the table where Angel had set his book. Biting his lip in concentration, he neatly slid the bookmark out of the book.

"You jerk," Angel said tiredly. "Don't you ever get tired of being a thorn in my side?"

"More like a pain in your ass." Spike smirked. "Which covers a lot of territory, you being all ass." He fidgeted with the bookmark for a few seconds until he hit a gap in his concentration and the object slipped through his fingers. "Bugger."

"You're being awfully antsy tonight," Angel observed. "Even for you. So why don't you get it off your chest, metaphorically speaking. Then, maybe you'll get tired of harassing me and go on your merry way."

Spike flopped down in a chair, but still acted twitchy. "Wouldn't be so merry if Rose had paid the slightest bit of attention to me trying to be noble last night," he remarked. "I tried to talk some sense into her, but I couldn't make her see reason."

"I certainly won't set myself up as an expert on affairs of the heart," Angel said slowly. "But don't you think that trying to talk sense to a woman in love is a waste of breath?"

"I can hardly waste something I need even less than you do," Spike remarked. "And I really did want to do what was best for her. I mean, not only am I useless, but I seem to be a jinx as well. Two out of two dates ending in disaster..,"

"Hardly constitutes a statistical universe," Angel interjected. "Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself?"

"Never thought I'd hear something like that from you," his companion remarked. "From Rose I more or less expected it, minus the sarcasm. I didn't think she had that in her."

"Rose? Sarcastic?" Obviously Angel didn't think she'd had it in her either.

"Called me St. Spike the martyr," Spike muttered. Suddenly he grinned. "Seems kind of funny, now. It didn't at the time, though. Guess I was kind of wallowing in it. But I'm getting sick to the teeth of having her threatened and having to sit back and wait for you to rescue her."

"And it's another blow to Spike's ego," Angel mocked. "Listen, Spike, maybe you were really trying to be noble, trying to do what was best for Rose. But she's a big girl. Don't you think she deserves a chance to make her own decisions? Even if it should turn out that they're destructive ones?"

"I want her to be safe," Spike said softly. "I want her to be happy."

"But what if they're not the same thing?" Angel asked.

&&&&&&&

Rose stirred restlessly on Fred's living room floor, just a few feet away from her hostess. Fred had unearthed sleeping bags and insisted on going through the slumber party routine with a vengeance.

"Rose."

Rose: "I'm here."

Viridian: "Do you have any further progress to report?"

Rose: "I've talked to Angel and to the girl named Fred. Angel seems to feel that Spike earned redemption by saving the Slayer. Fred had already thought that he was worth saving even before he sacrificed a chance at corporeality to save her."

Citrine: "And what are your feelings on the matter, Rose? Have they changed at all?"

Rose: "Yes, and no. I still feel that whatever he's done in the past, he certainly doesn't merit hell now."

Violet: "That was only half a reply. What was the rest?"

Rose: "I've fallen in love with him."

Sienna: "You were warned of the dangers of that."

Rose: "I couldn't help myself. He loves me so much that I find it impossible not to respond to it."

Cerulean: "Do you believe that you have been there long enough to appreciate the complexities of the emotion?"

Rose: "I don't know. I just know that when I have to come back, it's going to feel like losing a part of myself. And that is if the judgment is favorable. If it isn't, I don't know how I'll continue."

Citrine: "Since you are immortal, you will continue, so not continuing is not a possibility."

Rose: "I didn't say that it was. But if I fail him..,"

&&&&&&&

Rose woke with a start, sitting up and bathed in a film of sweat. Fred snoozed on nearby, undisturbed by the sudden movement. She sat there for a moment, forcing slow, deep breaths. What could they have meant, cutting the interview short? They obviously hadn't rejected her proposal out of hand yet, or else she wouldn't be back here. But why had they sent her back so abruptly? And why was her heart threatening to pound a hole in her chest? She laid back down and cuddled her pillow to her instead of resting her head on it. She felt disconnected and alone. She didn't have the secure feeling of being a part of a greater whole, as she did on that other plane. And she missed the comfort she always derived from Spike's presence. She closed her eyes again, and could almost visualize his pretty blue ones, could almost hear his voice. And at last, she drifted off to sleep. Thinking of Spike. Dreaming of Spike.


	13. There's Many a Slip

75

Angel stepped into Rose's office the first day after the week end. He moved so quietly and she was so intent on what she was doing that she didn't hear him enter.

"Rose?" Angel said softly.

Rose sat bolt upright with a startled yelp. She sat there looking at him a moment, hand pressed to her chest. "Why does it take so long to slow back down?" she inquired.

He almost asked what she was talking about when he realized she was talking about the frantic beat of her heart, which was quite audible to him. "Adrenalin," he replied. "A chemical the human body produces in times of stress. If you want the particulars, you'll have to ask someone else. My knowledge of biology has always been more.., basic."

"So what brings you to my tiny piece of Wolfram and Hart?" Rose asked. "Aside from trying to scare me into fits."

He perched on the corner of her desk, and Rose wondered what it was about nearly every male that came into her office that they chose to sit there rather than a chair. "I wanted to ask how your research is going," he answered.

Rose made a face. "Very discouraging. If it was for anything less important, I think I'd give up."

Angel subjected her to a careful scrutiny. "Is that why you have those dark circles under your eyes?" he queried. "Or was it something that happened to you over the weekend? I know you didn't have them Friday night."

"To tell the truth, I..," Rose began, then suddenly broke off, looking very alert. "Spike? It's very rude to eavesdrop, love."

Spike slowly appeared. Extremities first, then working inward. He beamed with self-congratulation. "Pretty good, innit? 'Lo, luv." He went to stand right behind Rose's chair, hovering over her protectively.

"Spectacular," Rose agreed, but without any enthusiasm.

"You don't like it." Spike's face fell. "Thought it was kind of impressive, myself," he muttered.

"But a bit juvenile, don't you think," Angel remarked. He flinched slightly as the toe of Rose's shoe connected with the bottom of his foot. "Still, given your current limitations, yeah, I guess it was impressive." He gave Rose a cautious look. So, she was trying to protect Spike's feelings. It did nothing for him to see the smirk on Spike's face that showed he had witnessed the byplay.

"Am I interrupting something?" Spike asked. "It's just that I thought that what with Rose being on her lunch break and all..," The sentence and Spike trailed off into nothing simultaneously.

Angel was stunned. Tact from Spike? He wondered which was the greater influence, a soul, or Rose. "He's really gone, isn't he?"

Rose's eyes grew distant for a moment. "He is. I don't know why it is, but I always know when Spike is around. Always."

"Do you want to finish what you were telling me before Spike arrived and departed?" Angel prompted. "A reason for those dark circles?"

"I was contacted again," Rose confessed. "By my peers. They know that I'm in love with Spike, but they gave me no indication whatsoever as to whether or not they consider it a point in his favor." She closed her eyes briefly, fighting down a sudden surge of panic. "In fact, they said little or nothing, and when I was there, I couldn't..," Once again she had to find a word in human speech to describe something distinctly inhuman. "I couldn't feel them. It was like a conversation with another human being. Communicating, but not truly connecting. Oh dear, I'm putting this very badly, I'm afraid."

"Maybe not," Angel encouraged her. "Are you saying that the rest of the Powers are distancing themselves from you?"

"Something like that," Rose conceded. "And I don't understand why. It scares me, for myself, and even more so for Spike. The only ray of hope in the whole situation is that they didn't call me back. If I'm still here, it means that a decision hasn't been arrived at yet. It means that I may still have a chance to sway them. But I should be a part of that decision."

"Has there ever been a decision made on anything that excluded one of you?" Angel asked.

"Never," Rose stated flatly. "Not once in forever. If one of us was away, like I am now, that one was always called back to take part in the decision. I don't know what's going on, Liam. For the first time ever, I really don't know what's going on. And I haven't been sleeping well as a result."

"Maybe it's a positive sign," Angel suggested, but without much hope.

"And maybe it's not," Rose sighed sadly. She seemed calm enough, but Angel could once again hear the frenzied thump, thump, thump of Rose's heart.

&&&&&&

The week was dragging by at a plodding pace. Rose was now like so many of the people she had seen, merely going through the motions. She only came alive when Spike was around, and did her best to cover in front of him. The only work she could really throw herself into was her research on Spike's behalf. In addition to sleeping poorly, she was scarcely eating, and soon the effects of such a lifestyle began to tell on her.

Wesley had called Rose to ask her to bring some forgotten papers to a senior staff meeting, so pretty much everyone who was anyone, i.e. Angel's original team was there when she fainted.

Angel whipped off his jacket and folded it into a pillow and tucked it under Rose's head. "Wes, call the company doctor and tell him that if he's not up here in five minutes, he's fired."

Wesley nodded and went to the phone.

Rose started muttering, without regaining consciousness. "He doesn't deserve what's happened to him. Everyone I've spoken to agrees with me." She began thrashing around, and everyone gathered around, wanting to help, but helpless. Angel considered that if this was what Rose's nights had been like of late, it was no wonder she was starting to look like a zombie.

"Please," the still unconscious Rose pleaded. "Let me restore him." Lorne, ever sympathetic, as well as empathetic, knelt on the other side of her and took one of her hands and gently stroked her forehead.

"You can't make decisions without me," Rose's midday nightmare went on. "I am a part. We are all Powers, together."

At that revelation, Angel glanced around at his companions, and saw that not only had they heard it, but it had struck a chord. Suddenly, Rose shrieked out, "No!" and sat bolt upright. A moment later, her open eyes began to focus.

Any discussion was delayed by the arrival of the doctor. He gave Rose a quick once over, and asked a few questions that Rose answered automatically.

"Stress," the doctor pronounced. "Resulting in disrupted sleeping and eating habits. Not uncommon, these days. I'll prescribe a mild sedative for her. That, and eating on a more consistent basis should help. But it's only palliative. If she can't resolve her problem enough to get her lifestyle back in order, I'd suggest therapy." He looked at Rose again. "Not everyone is emotionally equipped to work here," he observed, recalling seeing Rose after her run-in with a demon. "She may not be, sir, and it may be in her best interests for you to consider letting her go." Angel began to glower, and the doctor backed down. "Get her home, get some food and the sedative into her. She needs food and rest. But most of all, she needs some peace." His job done, he left.

As one, all eyes turned from Rose to Angel, with more than a hint of accusation. "Later," he said firmly. "I need to get her home first." A thought struck him. "She ought to have someone to stay with her."

"I'll go." Lorne volunteered before anyone else could open their mouths. "My department can run itself for the rest of the day, and the only other one of us that I suspect that Spike wouldn't object to is Fred, and our princess is much too busy to take the day off."

"Fine." Angel helped Rose to her feet, half carrying her. He just wanted to get out of here and have a quick word with Rose, if possible before the barrage of questions began raining down. He set such a brisk pace that he ended up having to carry Rose, and Lorne was practically running to keep up.

Angel was thankful that Lorne kept silent, he wasn't sure he could cope right now, the way it was all blowing up in his face. He handed Rose in to the demon, preferring her safely in the back seat with someone to keep an eye on her so he could concentrate on his driving.

Since she had regained consciousness, Rose had said nothing other than to answer the doctor's questions. As far as Angel knew, she had no idea what she had let slip while she had been out of it. She looked drained, almost literally, to Angel's eye, who had seen a few drained people. Usually ones that he had drained.

Lorne tagged along like a puppy while Angel carried Rose up to her apartment. As he headed into her bedroom, he said, "Lorne, could you give us a minute?"

Lorne shrugged and stopped where he was. He glanced around and saw the picture on the wall and went over and began studying it as if there would be a test on it at the end of the day.

Angel set Rose down on her bed. "Rose," he said. "Are you up to talking? I need to have a word with you before I go back."

"I can talk." Rose's voice was lusterless, lacking timbre.

"Do you have any idea what you said while you were unconscious?" Angel asked.

"I talked?" Rose looked confused. "How can you talk when you're not awake?"

"We don't have time to go into that now," Angel replied. "The point is, you said something about being a Power. Everyone in the office heard you. And they put two and two together. I may be able to keep them quiet, I might not, just because it's so big that someone might let something slip when they don't realize that Spike is around."

Rose gasped and fell back on the pillows. "Spike can't find out, Liam, he can't. You've got to ask them not to speak of it, at all."

"He's going to find out sometime," Angel pointed out.

"Yes," she agreed. "But just before I leave. It has to be that way. No one was supposed to know." She covered her face with her hands. "What have I done?"

"We'll figure out a way to work things out," Angel promised. "If I see Spike, do you want me to send him here?"

"Do you think you could keep him away?" she asked. "If the tables were turned, I know that I would want to be with..,"

"Rose!" Spike came through a wall. "They said you'd fainted." He sat on the edge of the bed. "You want to take a powder now, mate?" He addressed Angel without looking at him. "The A team is here now."

Angel got up. He'd better get back to the firm and start effecting some damage control before things got out of hand. He trusted his team to be discreet, but one word at the wrong time with the wrong person in hearing distance, and there'd be hell to pay. "Make sure you follow the doctor's instructions, Rose," he ordered, as he reached the doorway. "Lorne will stay here in case you need any help." He spared a glance for Spike who just sat there, gazing intently at the wan figure on the bed. "If you're not feeling up to it, take the day off tomorrow. You're not going to be any good to anybody, least of all yourself unless you take care."

But evidently Spike had been listening. "She'll be a good girl," he promised. "Because you're going to do it for me, aren't you, pet?" The last was obviously directed at Rose. For good measure, he said to Angel, "Now bugger off, ya poncey git."

Lorne was still absorbed in his study of the picture on the wall when Angel re-entered the living room, but he was aware of the vampire's presence. "This is big league stuff, isn't it?" He turned to face Angel. "I hope I'm right in assuming that you'll fill me in tomorrow?"

"What I can," Angel promised. "Just make sure she takes her medication and gets something to eat. I have to get back to the office now and try to..,"

"Put the genie back in the bottle?" Lorne asked. "Easier said than done, Angelcakes. As for the Rosebud, I promise she's in good hands."

&&&&&&

When Angel got back to the conference room, the remaining trio were still waiting expectantly. At least, he thought with relief, they hadn't been out and about and speculating where other ears could pick up on things.

"How long have you known, Angel?" Wes asked quietly.

"About a week," he answered. He didn't even try to lie, it had gone to far to be covered effectively with lies now. "She wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but she needed someone to talk to."

"Well why didn't she tell Spike?" Gunn inquired. "The two of them being so tight, I would have thought that he was the first one she'd clue in."

"Spike is definitely off limits as far as telling him anything goes," Angel said firmly. "In fact, I'd like to ask you to keep it all within the confines of this room. Don't even talk about it among yourselves. It would be a big help if you could all just forget it, but I don't suppose that's an option."

"Forget that I had a sleepover with one of The Powers That Be?" Fred said incredulously. "I think it would be easier to forget my name."

"But what is one of the Powers doing here?" Wesley wanted to know. "It must be something really serious, for one of them to step in personally."

"It's about Spike," Angel answered. He sat down at the table and rested his chin on his hands. "Evidently there's been some discussion about whether or not Spike got a raw deal out of saving the world. Rose is here to try to prove her case, but she got a little more involved than she was supposed to."

"Falling head over heels for the guy is not what I'd call a little more involved," Gunn pointed out. "Do you buy that stuff, boss?"

"If I didn't, I'd be calling the nearest mental hospital," Angel responded. "Because Rose really believes it. But I believe it too. I think the best thing we can do is just go on as before and pretend that Rose is just another employee."

"Wait a minute." Fred had a thoughtful look on her face. "Is there anyone here that Rose hasn't asked about whether or not they felt that Spike deserved to go to hell?"

"Me," Gunn admitted. "But then, I haven't been around her much. What about the rest of you?"

"She asked me," Wes replied.

"And me," Angel said. "And I think she probably got the same answer from all of us."

"But will that be enough to convince the rest of the Powers?" Wesley wondered.

"And what is it going to do to Spike when she has to go back?" Fred mused. As Wes and Gunn looked at her querulously, she asked, "Well, she will have to go back, won't she?"

"She'll have to go back," Angel confirmed.


	14. A Demon in Need

80

"Will you listen to me now, luv?" Spike asked. "I told you that you needed to eat or you'd keel over."

Rose seemed very intent on looking anywhere but at Spike.

"Rose, please look at me." Voice warm and soft as velvet. When she finally complied, he just looked into her eyes for long minutes. "I want you to promise me you're going to take better care of yourself, pet." The words were demanding, the tone, pleading. "Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? Feels like I've bloody well failed you, again."

"Oh, Spike, no," Rose protested. "It wasn't your fault at all. It was my irresponsibility, not yours."

Spike's face looked grim. "I still haven't heard that promise," he prompted.

"I promise," she replied meekly. "Only please don't be upset with me."

The storm clouds passed, and his face brightened. "I'm not upset **_at _**you, pet, just for you. You worried me."

There was a soft tap at the door, and Lorne entered, carrying a bowl of something steamy. The Pylean had made himself at home to the extent of removing his jacket and untying his tie. He sat on the other side of the bed and dipped a spoon into the bowl. "Open up," he commanded, holding a spoonful of the soup to Rose's lips.

Rose started to open her mouth to protest, and Lorne neatly slipped the spoon in, forcing her to eat.

She swallowed, glaring at Lorne. "I can feed myself," she muttered through barely parted lips.

"Let's just do a quick little test then, shall we?" Lorne suggested. "All you have to do is hold out your hand, sweetie."

Rose did so, and the hand was visibly shaking.

"Looks like you'd better let the nice demon spoon-feed you, luv," Spike remarked.

Something about the words nice and demon together struck her as amusing, and a broad smile crept over her face.

"That's better," Spike murmured. "I haven't seen too much of that the last few days. You've been so serious that I almost thought you'd forgotten how." He stretched out beside her, just to be close to her, not that close meant all that much in his current condition.

"Listen kids, that's very sweet and all," Lorne interjected. "But the soup's getting cold. So, let's get this into you and put the bloom back on our Rose."

Rose sighed, rolled her eyes and obediently opened her mouth.

&&&&&&&

Wesley walked back to his office, lost in thought. Well, that threw off a few of his plans. Rose had been so good at what she had been doing that he had planned on promoting her rapidly through the ranks to be his second in command. He rather thought that would be a waste of time, now. It struck the ex-Watcher as more than somewhat incongruous that he had one of The Powers That Be as one of his subordinates. But even more curious to him, was what was so important or special about Spike that one of the said Powers felt moved to go to so much trouble in his behalf. Not that he wished Spike any ill, per se, but he rather hoped that Rose's tenure on the physical plane would last quite a while. She was going to be nearly impossible to replace. Of course, now, he knew why.

&&&&&

"Open up the hangar, here comes the airplane," said Spike in a sing-song voice.

Rose nearly choked on her mouthful of soup. Once she had successfully down, she turned to him. "Will you please stop that? I'm supposed to be eating the stuff, not wearing it. Which I nearly was. And Lorne, too."

"Yeah, Spike, can you hold off on the joking until she's done?" Lorne asked. "My dry cleaning bill is already not to be believed." He looked back to his temporary charge. "And if she's a real good girl and makes all gone, maybe Uncle Lorne will even let her get up long enough to put on her jammies."

Rose giggled. "You're as bad as Spike, Lorne. But I hope there's not too much of that left. I already feel like I'm about to burst."

"Just a couple more bites," Lorne assured her. "You're doing fine, sweetpea." He fed her the last of the soup. "Let's see how you're doing now, punkin."

Rose held out her hand again, and while not rock-steady, the tremors had subsided considerably.

"Okay, doll-baby." Lorne stood up. "Why don't you get changed while I go get your medicine?"

"It's the middle of the day, Lorne," Rose pointed out. "Why on earth should I put on nightclothes?"

"Because, pet, you're spending the rest of the day in bed," Spike informed her. "And if you think I want to see Lorne undressing you, think again." He laid back and put his hands behind his head. "Kind of interested in seeing what you wear to bed." He grinned at her.

Rose got up slowly and carefully and retrieved a bundle of fabric from under her pillow. She moved with great deliberation, but made it to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Useless, she knew. If Spike had really wanted to see such sights as there were, he could have many a time already. But to date, he had been a perfect gentleman.

Spike may have been a little disappointed at her nightwear, but he wasn't at all surprised. It fit in with what her wardrobe had been before he had taken a hand. Full-length pajamas, gathered at the wrist with a little ruffle. White, sprigged with tiny blue flowers. Very sweet, or it would be on a five-year-old. Not, to his mind, fitting togs for a full-grown woman. He wondered if he could talk her into another shopping trip to purchase something a bit more.., inappropriate. Not that he could do more than look at present. But he did like to look. He smiled at the thought of her wearing his idea of women's nightwear.

"Does that mean you like it?" Rose inquired, climbing back into bed.

He made a face. "Not really, pet," he said apologetically. "I was imagining you in something satiny and slinky in black. Something that would show off the assets."

A tinge of pink crossed her features. "Does it really matter?" she inquired. "Who would see me in it?"

"Me, hopefully," Spike answered. "You've got a very nice figure, luv. Seems a right shame to hide it in kiddie p.j.s." He tried on a leer, but it was hard to do when she was wearing those godawful pajamas. "I'd like to see you in something really sexy, babe. Like it even better if..,"

"Time for your medicine," Lorne announced, coming back. He held out a couple of pills and a glass of water. "Down the hatch, kitten."

Rose took the pills and looked at them dubiously. "What are they supposed to do to me?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's just a little something to help you sleep well, punkin," Lorne explained.

"I don't know if I can sleep in the middle of the day," she mumbled.

"Trust me," Lorne said. "Take those and you'd sleep through Armageddon."

&&&&&&&

Lorne was sitting in the living room sipping a glass of tea unenthusiastically when Spike ghosted back through the bedroom door. "Is she asleep?"

"Out like the proverbial light," Spike replied, flinging himself down on a chair. "You want to open that door a crack, Lorne? Just in case she gets the frights or something."

"Not likely," Lorne remarked, but following up Spike's suggestion. "I've seen what that stuff can do. Funny, back at the firm, the doctor said a mild sedative. That stuff is not what I'd call mild. It would put down a charging rhino."

"Wonder why he changed his mind," Spike mused. "Makes me a bit nervous, it does. Maybe you'd better call Angel and tell him about it. He might want to ask that doctor a few pointed questions."

"Sounds like a plan." Lorne made the call and explained things to Angel with a promise of further reports as deemed necessary.

"God, what I wouldn't give for a smoke," Spike observed. "I may not have nerves in the technical sense, but something's so keyed up that I could climb the flipping walls."

"Ah, young love," Lorne sighed. He raised his glass of tea in a mock salute. "Very touching."

Spike flipped him off. "So what's your interest in this? Still trying to tempt Rose onto the stage and into the bright lights?"

Lorne shook his head. Knowing what he did now, he knew that it was a waste of time. "Just a concerned friend, sport, that's all. And you've got to admit, the lady is a charmer." He glanced up at the wall to the picture. "Is that some of Angel's work?"

"Yeah," Spike answered. "Our first date. Right pain it was, having to drag him along. But we had.., fun." It sounded kind of lame, really. Not the sort of thing he'd have gone in for in the old days. But now, it seemed his whole existence, such as it was, revolved around Rose.

"Is it just me, or were you two up on a stage in a couple of those pictures?" Lorne asked.

"Karaoke bar," Spike confirmed. "I was kind of hard put to think of things we could do together." He grinned. "We knocked 'em dead."

"I'm not surprised," Lorne remarked. "I've heard both of you sing." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine the two voices blended, and came away with a very pleasant impression. "Wish I'd have been there to hear the two of you."

"Maybe some other time." Spike's face got serious. "If there is another time. Seems like every time we go out, I get to sit back and watch something or someone threaten her and wait for my big ponce of a grandsire to come and rescue her. Very bad for my knight in shining armor instincts."

"Well, unless she bounces back within the next day or so, I'd say another time isn't going to be for a while," Lorne observed. "Might make a kind of fun party, though. All the old gang, plus you and Rose out for an evening of fun and song."

Spike made a face. "Bad enough having a third along on a date. But I was never really into group activities. I've always been a one on one kind of guy."

"And I take it that if you get your hunky little bod back, that you're planning a little one on one activity with her?" Lorne asked. "If you don't mind me getting so personal."

"A gentleman never tells," Spike remarked.

"I know, that's why I was asking you."

&&&&&&

Angel may not have been psychic, but he was definitely getting some bad vibes from the doctor. He'd hedged and hemmed and hawed, trying to explain the change in Rose's prescription without actually explaining it. He almost wished that they didn't have to keep Rose's identity a secret. Even someone deep into the darkest intrigues that Wolfram and Hart had ever had to offer would probably think twice before messing around with one of the Powers. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, he had no real idea of what was wrong, but he knew he didn't like it. He picked up the phone. "Lorne? Angel. I couldn't get a straight answer out of that doctor, but I don't feel comfortable with what's going on. So, until or unless you hear otherwise, I'd suggest that you don't give her any more of those pills. Yeah, I'll let you know." He hung up, and reflected on the kind of world it was where a demon was more trustworthy than most people.

&&&&&&&

Lorne was half-dozing, and Spike was pacing around nervously when a low moan came from the bedroom. They were both there in moments.

Rose thrashed around restlessly, moaning as if in pain, but didn't speak, and didn't wake.

"This shouldn't be happening," Lorne remarked worriedly. "She should be so completely out of it that the last trump wouldn't disturb her."

"I don't like this," Spike muttered. "Can't we do something to calm her down?" He didn't know why he was asking Lorne, other than that the demon was the only one there to ask.

"Well, I do have one idea," the Pylean admitted. "Why don't you sit beside her and sing to her?"

"So you can do one of your famous readings on me?" Spike asked. "Get stuffed."

The demon sighed. "I don't need to do a reading on you. But if you could sing something nice and soothing, it might calm her down."

"Why can't you do it?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"I could," Lorne replied. "And it might even work. But I think you have a better chance, ace. Because your voice is the one she's most used to. Someone she trusts and loves. Just sing to her and let her know that you're here for her."

Spike knelt by the head of the bed. "Hold her hand will you? I would but..," He shrugged, knowing he had gotten his point across. Lorne sat on the bed and took Rose's hand in his.

The vampire's shade gave the demon a look. "If the subject should ever come up, you never heard this. It would bloody well ruin my reputation." He began to sing softly, "Blow the winds southerly, southerly, southerly. Blow the winds south o'er the bonnie blue sea. Blow the winds southerly, southerly, southerly. Blow bonnie breeze my true love to me." And Rose quieted and fell into a more natural, peaceful, restful sleep.


	15. Whodunit

84

While Lorne settled for dozing on and off on the sofa, merely checking on Rose periodically, Spike didn't stir from her side for the rest of the night. Occasionally, Lorne would wake to hear Spike's baritone voice softly crooning and know that Rose had become restless again.

A thin shaft of light drifted into the bedroom window, then intensified, and Spike reflected how odd it was that he of all people, should be glad to see the sun rise. It had been a long night. A very long night. Right now, though, all was well. Rose was curled up in a ball like a kitten, soundly, peacefully asleep. Snores coming from the next room suggested that the same held true for Lorne.

Spike gazed down at his lady love fondly. A stray lock of hair had fallen across her face, and her nose twitched irritably. Frowning with concentration, he carefully pushed it back out of the way, and watched her features resume their serenity.

There was a brief strangled sound in the living room, then, the snores ceased. Lorne poked his head in. "How's she doing?" he whispered loudly.

Spike rose from the bed with a languid grace. "Sleeping like a baby," he reported softly, joining Lorne, who had retreated to the living room at Spike's approach. "Been that way for a couple, three hours now without getting the fidgets."

"Do you think we should wake her up for work, or let her sleep?" Lorne went to the kitchen and started rummaging around. "I can't believe that she doesn't have any coffee, not even the instant stuff," he muttered. "Where was I? Oh, yeah, in my totally unprofessional opinion, she still looks pretty fragile."

Spike shrugged. "Let her sleep if she can. The Watcher can do without her for one day. Besides, Angel should be calling back to clue us in on the switch in prescriptions."

Lorne nodded. "Probably for the best. I'll wait till she's awake before I turn my cell on. That's all I really need to keep things running for the most part." He went back to ransacking the cupboards again. "You're around her a lot, Spike, what does she usually eat for breakfast? Do you know?"

"She usually skips it," Spike informed him. "Lunch too, as a general rule. Don't know how she keeps going on as little as she eats. It's not like she needs to watch her figure." A naughty grin crossed his features. "I think I can handle that much."

"That's not any help," Lorne complained. He shifted a few things around. "Neither is this. I can't find anything even remotely breakfast-like here."

"Does it really matter?" Spike asked. "As long as she eats something, can't see it makes any difference what it is."

Lorne held up a couple of packages. "So, what do you think?" he asked. "Frozen pizza or a t.v. dinner?"

&&&&&&

"Wes," Angel said. "Maybe we've been going at this the wrong way. What exactly has Rose been working on? Aside from her private research."

"Just cleaning up translations of reference works," Wesley replied. "Nothing particularly sensitive. I certainly couldn't imagine anyone trying to do her any mischief because of it. What about her own research? Maybe there's someone with a vested interest in keeping Spike the way he is, and Rose may have been getting too close to a solution."

"But why would anyone want to keep Spike a specter?" Angel mused. "Or keep Spike at all, for that matter. I think I'm going to have another talk with that doctor."

"Have you got the medication that Rose was supposed to be taking?" Wes asked. "It might not be a bad idea to have Fred analyze it and see if it is actually what it is purported to be."

"Good idea," Angel agreed. "I'll send someone over to pick it up." He pulled out his cell phone. "Maybe I'd better call Lorne first, and let him know that someone is on the way." He tried the number for Lorne's cell phone and got no answer. "Must have it turned off," he muttered. He tried Rose's number, got Lorne, had a brief chat, then dialed another number. This conversation took a bit longer, and Wesley listened in unashamedly.

"Did I just hear you order breakfast for Lorne and Rose?" He sounded slightly amused.

"Lorne was complaining that Rose didn't have anything nutritious in her kitchen," Angel explained. "Besides, I intend to spare no expense where Rose is concerned. All things considered."

"Treading carefully." Wesley nodded in agreement.

"And, it never hurts to have friends in high places." Angel tipped Wesley a wink.

&&&&&&&

"Well," Fred said, a few hours later. "The drug is what the label says it is. I don't know why it didn't affect Rose the way it should have. A dosage as high as that should have nearly put her in a coma, yet both Spike and Lorne said she had a restless night."

"Could it have anything to do with who she is?" Wesley asked.

"I don't think so," Fred responded. "If it did, she probably wouldn't have fainted in the first place. It's a human body, reacting like a human body. Mostly. Except for the effects of that drug. What we really need is to have a medical doctor give her a really thorough physical, plus a battery of tests." She turned to Angel. "The problem is, it might look a little strange, or more than a little strange if you went to all that trouble for an employee at her level."

"It might also tip our hands," Angel observed. "Let whoever set this up know that we're suspicious. I think we'd better carry on business as usual for now, but keep our eyes open." He looked at the pill bottle in Fred's hand. "And lock that up somewhere. Rose is not taking any more of it."

&&&&&&

"Sugarplum, you haven't eaten enough to keep a bird alive," Lorne protested.

"I really don't feel like eating, Lorne." Rose pushed her plate away. Against the demon's protests, she had insisted on getting out of bed for breakfast. "I feel kind of queasy. And my head feels like it's full of sand." She picked up her glass of orange juice and drained it. "I'd like some more juice, though, if there's any left. I'm awfully thirsty."

While Lorne was re-filling her glass, his cell phone rang, again. He hadn't been off it for more than five minutes running since turning it on. He listened intently, with just the occasional acknowledgement.

"Well, it's official," he said. "That drug was what the label on the bottle said it was. What we can't figure out is why it didn't put your lights out, doll."

"Bet I know." Spike hadn't said much since Rose had gotten up, he'd mostly just hovered around her, watching her. "You went and palmed those pills, didn't you, luv?"

Rose didn't have to answer, the furious blush said it all. "I just didn't trust them," she mumbled.

"Well you sneaky little puss," Lorne exclaimed. "I wouldn't have thought such a sweet little girl could put something over on me like that."

"Just as well she did," Spike pointed out. "Or we might have had to take her to an emergency room instead of being able to keep it all in the family."

"Can I get ready to go to work now?" Rose asked plaintively.

"No." Spike and Lorne said in chorus.

&&&&&&

Shortly after sunset, Angel came by Rose's apartment, where Lorne ushered him into Rose's bedroom, then went back to the other room, continuing to talk on his cell phone all the while. She had protested vehemently against spending the day in bed, but her protests had fallen on deaf ears.

"I hear that you pulled a fast one on us, Rose," Angel remarked. He looked around the room for someplace to sit, but there was no place except the bed, so he sat gingerly at its foot.

"Give it a rest, Angel," Spike advised. "That was old news this morning. Anything new?"

Angel shook his head. "Wes is pretty sure that her work for him didn't have anything in it that would put her in harm's way. So that just leaves her search for a way to bring you back to unlife."

"But who knew?" Rose asked. "You, me, Spike, and Wesley. I didn't tell anyone else, did either of you?"

"None of their sodding business," Spike remarked. "What about you, ponce?"

"I didn't think it was anyone else's business either." Angel didn't much care for agreeing with Spike, but the truth was the truth. "And I can't see Wesley talking about it."

"Not with that overblown upper-class sense of propriety of his." Spike didn't like agreeing with Angel any more than Angel liked agreeing with him. "So what does that leave?"

"Those access codes," Rose murmured. "With the kind of security Wolfram and Hart has, I bet that no one can use those codes, authorized or not without it sending off warning signals all over the place."

"What access codes?" Spike inquired.

"I gave Rose my personal access codes so she could extend her research," Angel explained. "Damn, it makes sense. Either you were getting close to something that someone didn't want seen, Rose, or at least, they thought you were. Can you remember the last reference you pulled up?"

"The Chronicles of Ahmed Al-Shere," Rose answered. "I can't see why anyone would get upset over me seeing that. I know it was placed in the classified information, but it reads like the rantings of a madman."

"It's the only lead we've got right now," Angel pointed out. "Weekend or not, I think I'll get Wes looking into it, see what he can ferret out." Now that the problem was partially solved, at least, Angel remembered his manners. "How are you feeling, Rose?"

"Over-protected." She grimaced. "I'm fine, really I am. But I can't convince Spike and Lorne that I am." She turned to glare at Spike, but he just gave her a warm smile, and her irritation, and her heart melted. "Cheater." Spike just sat there looking smug.

Angel watched the byplay with a grin. It was something of a change to see Spike use his powers of charm and persuasion for someone else's benefit.

"Play your cards right, pet, and maybe we'll even let you get dressed tomorrow." He looked at Angel. "Did you get what Lorne asked you for?"

Angel pulled a bottle out of his pocket, an over the counter sleeping aid. "Hopefully this will do the trick," he said. "You really do look a kind of frail, Rose. You need an undisturbed night's sleep."

"And we're on to you now," Spike observed. "Tonight, those pills are going to go where they're going to do some good." He stood up. "You be okay on your own for a few minutes, luv? I need to have a little talk with the pouf, here. Away from your shell-like ears."

Rose thought a moment, and made a gesture that she'd seen Spike make several times, even though she had no real idea what it meant.

Angel busted up laughing. Spike gave her a wicked grin. "I'd be happy to if I could, sweetheart," he said, in tones so naughty that Rose started to catch the implications and blushed.

&&&&&&

"So, what's the big secret," Angel asked, when they were safely in the other room.

"You saw what she was wearing and you have to ask?" Spike was incredulous. "No self-respecting twelve year old would wear that."

"I thought it was kind of.., sweet," Angel muttered, seeing where the conversation was going. It occurred to him that Spike was awfully free about spending his money. But he really couldn't bring himself to object when the request was made on Rose's behalf.

"Sweet my ass," Spike said disgustedly. "It's kid stuff."

"So what?" Angel asked. "You want me to walk into Victoria's Secret and buy Rose sexy nightwear? I think I'm going to have to draw the line there."

"You ought to know better than to draw lines with me," Spike remarked. "I just step over 'em anyhow. If it's too much for your nancy-boy sensibilities, just send a car, someone to drive it and a credit card, I'll do the rest."

"Lorne's been cooped up here all day," Angel said resignedly, pulling out his wallet and extracting a credit card. "And, he's had to put up with you, too. Of course he still will, but he might like the chance to get out. I'll stay here with Rose till the two of you get back."

"Works for me." The trademark Spike smirk was much in evidence.

"Just try not to bankrupt me," Angel requested.


	16. The Chronicle's Curse

91

"Trust me, Spike, stick with the classics." Lorne held up a full length, narrow gown of black satin. "Reveals as much as it conceals. Very sexy, but not over the top."

Spike eyed it dubiously. "I had kind of pictured something that showed a little more skin," he said.

"And if you get something too extreme," Lorne argued, "even you will never be able to get her to wear it."

Spike grudgingly conceded that Lorne had a point. And the nightgown did fit all the criteria he had mentioned to Rose, satin, slinky, black. He just didn't like giving in so easily. Then he got an evil gleam in his eyes with a matching smile on his face. "What say we get her some titillating undies while we're here? I'd bet money that everything she has in that line is white cotton."

Lorne sighed. He liked Spike, he really did, but he could be an incredible pain. Lorne strongly suspected that he did it on purpose, too. "Now I see why Angel delegated me," he commented. "Spike if you think I'm going to go rummaging through the thongs and bikinis, you're out of your ever-lovin' mind."

Spike smirked. He hadn't really meant it anyway, at least, not entirely. He'd made the suggestion, as Lorne had suspected, simply for the irritation value. "Okay, demon, you win." He felt he could afford a strategic retreat, now that he'd scored one. "The black one, the gray to match her eyes, and the green one to set off her hair," he directed.

Lorne took a quick glance at a price tag. "They ain't cheap, Spike. And it is Angel's money. Could I possibly suggest a little restraint?"

"Nope." Spike was wearing an incredibly self-satisfied expression.

"Fine." Lorne sighed again. "Then let's pay for this stuff and get out of here. I think that salesgirl thinks I'm getting it for you."

&&&&&

"I hope those pills really do make me sleep soundly," Rose said, worriedly. "Because I have the feeling that Spike is going to be watching over me again tonight. And it's just lucky I didn't start talking again last night. Even just a little hint would probably be enough. Spike isn't stupid."

"No, he isn't," Angel admitted. "Add to that the fact that he's incredibly attuned to you. You want me to talk him out of it?"

Rose looked at the vampire with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. "Angel, what is Spike's reaction when anyone, especially you, tries to talk him out of something?"

Angel grimaced. "To go ahead and do it anyway. And, as you pointed out, he's not stupid. Reverse psychology never works on him, either. He might do it if you asked him, though."

Rose shook her head. "When he's got his mind made up, I can't budge him. Which is why I spent the day in bed even though I'm perfectly fine. He's especially stubborn if he's worried about me."

"I've never seen him like this before," Angel said softly. "You're a good influence on him, Rose."

"Where exactly did he and Lorne go?" The question popped up out of thin air.

"Guess." Angel grinned at her. He'd promised Spike that he wouldn't tell her, but he wasn't above giving her a subtle hint. He reached out and touched a ruffled pajama sleeve.

Rose's eyes widened. "He isn't..," she sputtered. "You didn't.., oh dear."

That won a full-fledged laugh. "Try to act surprised, Rose. I wasn't supposed to let you know." A slightly pained look crossed his face. "I just hope Lorne can restrain him enough to keep him from maxing out my credit card."

"I don't understand why you gave it to him in the first place," Rose said, with a trace of irritation.

"Have you ever tried saying no to him?" Angel asked. "I've known him all his unlife, Rose, and if nothing else, Spike has always been a charming rascal." Angel's cell phone rang. "Hello. Yes, Wesley. Really? Keep digging, but be careful."

"What did Wesley find out?" she inquired.

"With the exception of you," Angel said slowly, "everyone who has read anything in the Chronicles of Ahmed Al-Shere has died within twenty-four hours of reading it."

"A cursed text?" Rose suggested.

Angel shook his head. "I've never seen anyone win out over a curse without finding a way to actually break it."

"And Ahmed Al-Shere is a demon sorcerer of great power," Rose mused. "If he cast a curse it would be pretty hard to break it."

"You said is, not was." Angel spotted the incongruity immediately. "Surely he's not still alive?"

Rose shrugged. "I can't watch everything, everywhere all the time," she said apologetically. "That's why we are many. So we can try to keep an eye on everything. But I never heard of the demon-mage being killed, or simply dying, so I'm not going to rule out the possibility that he's still alive." Abruptly, panic set in. "You didn't tell Wesley not to read it!" she exclaimed. "Angel you must call him and tell him."

"I told him to be careful," Angel assured her. "Wes was trained as a watcher. I'm sure he knows the proper precautions to take." He frowned. "When Lorne and Spike get back, though, I think we're going to have to move you, Rose." He considered the possibilities, and saw only one viable one. "The spare bedroom in my apartment." Seeing she was about to protest, he added, "If it's a curse, help is close. If there's a person behind it, my place is much more secure."

Rose got up so suddenly she had to sit back down from the dizzy spell she gave herself.

"Where do you think you're going?" Angel demanded.

"To get dressed," she replied. "If you think I'm parading around in public in my pajamas, you're crazy."

&&&&&

Spike and Lorne returned to find Angel and a fully dressed Rose sitting in the living room talking. A suitcase sat conspicuously near the door.

"What are you doing up and dressed, pet?" Spike started in a little heatedly. "I thought we agreed..," Then, he saw the suitcase, and the extra serious expression on Angel's face. "What's going on?"

"We're not entirely sure," Angel admitted. "But Wes says that everyone who's ever read from the text Rose was studying died in less than a day. We don't know if it's a person, a curse or coincidence, but just to be on the safe side, I'm moving her into my place." He waited for the outburst he was sure would come from Spike.

"Place is like Fort Knox," Spike mused. "Probably about as safe as she could be. And she wouldn't even be bothered by advances by strange men, you bein' such a big pouf and all."

"You never cease to amaze me, Spike." Angel was stunned. He'd said that Rose was a good influence on Spike, but he hadn't realized just how far-reaching that influence was.

Spike shrugged and went to stand near Rose. "It's what's best for her," he said flatly. "I'm not bloody well going to argue with that. Besides, if you suddenly decide that you're a real man after all, I'll be there with her to remind you..,"

"What a pouf I am," Angel finished for him. "Don't you ever get tired of being a pain in my ass, Spike?"

"Everyone needs a hobby." Spike flashed a grin. "What say we get this show on the road? You got those pills packed away, luv?"

"Yes, love," Rose answered meekly. "Aren't you going to tell me what you were shopping for?"

Spike's grin grew wider. "Wait till we get to the ponce's place first, pet." His eyes got a little glazed thinking about Rose modeling his purchases. A private viewing, naturally.

"Well if our blushing Rose is going to be staying at Hotel Angel," Lorne remarked, "then maybe you could drop me off at my place on the way. I need a shower and a change and some sleep in an actual bed."

"No problem, Lorne," Angel replied. "Thanks for staying with Rose, but I think you can take a break now."

"It was my pleasure," Lorne said. "Couldn't have had a prettier patient," he added, just to make Rose blush, which she did.

&&&&&&

They had barely gotten the door of Angel's place when Spike started issuing orders. "It's getting late, pet, so you're off to bed as of right now."

"I've been in bed all day," she protested. "And I'm not the least bit sleepy." A frown crossed her face. "Wait a minute, why am I begging to stay up like a small child? I'm a grown woman, and..,"

"You're going to do exactly what is best for you, aren't you, precious?" Spike interrupted. "Hurry up and give her the grand tour so she knows where everything is, Angel, then I'll get her all tucked in."

Angel gave Rose an I-told-you-so look and escorted her around, dropping off her suitcase and Spike's shopping in the spare room.

&&&&&&

"C'mon, pet," Spike pleaded. "Ain't nobody going to see you but me." He laid on his stomach crossways on the bed and propped his face in his hands, gazing up at her with a winsome look on his face.

Deep down, Rose knew that she'd been arguing merely for form's sake. She knew that Spike would eventually wheedle her into doing things his way. "Pick one," she said resignedly.

"The gray one," he decided. Actually gray was something of a misnomer, the color shimmered back and forth between gray and silver. "And you want to stop acting like you're going to your own hanging, luv?" He had to say it rather loudly, as Rose was walking towards the bathroom.

When she finally emerged, Spike had to admit that Lorne had known what he was talking about. The gown clung to Rose's curves and accentuated them in a way something more revealing wouldn't have done. He gave a mental groan and buried his face in the covers for a moment. If it had been the old days, he'd have had the thing off her in about ten seconds. He had to admit that the relationship he had with Rose was in all other ways eminently satisfying, based on all the things love was supposed to be based on. And he knew he'd rather go on like he was forever than to do without her. But, he thought wistfully, it would be nice and then some to be able to act on the attraction on a physical level too.

"Spike?" Rose sat carefully on the bed next to him. "Is something wrong? Doesn't it look all right?"

He rolled over so he could look up at her. "It looks fine," he muttered hoarsely. "You're gorgeous, babe. I just wish..,"

Rose's eyes grew soft. "That you could.., touch me?" she said gently.

"That I could make love to you," he elaborated. He scooted around and lay in the right direction, facing her. He patted the covers invitingly, and Rose lay down beside him, facing him. "It's just getting so damned frustrating," he muttered. "I want to be able to be a man, a real man for you."

"And being a man rests entirely upon being able to perform a physical act?" she queried. "I admit that I'd like to know what it's like, but I don't think that that is what being a real man is all about. And I don't think you do either, do you, love?"

"I used to," he admitted. "Thought that bein' a man was all about..," He broke off suddenly, something she had said had sunk in. "You've never.., slept with anyone before?"

"Just you." She looked a little puzzled, as if she had never heard the euphemism before. Which of course, she hadn't.

"That's not what I meant." It was Spike's turn to look puzzled. Some of the things his sweetie didn't know would make you think she'd come down with the last shower of rain. "I meant that you haven't had sex with anyone, that you're a virgin."

"Oh." She was beet-red now. "I haven't. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No," he replied. "A bit unusual, I'll have to say though. Girl as pretty as you are, I'd have thought by now some guy would have sweet-talked his way into your..," He'd been going to say pants, but somehow, for Rose, that sounded just a bit too crude. "Into your good graces," he finished a bit lamely. Well, this was certainly going well. Making a complete ass of himself, he was. But hell, how could you credit that a girl like her was still untouched? He still had a way out of the uncomfortable conversation, this time. But he didn't doubt that the subject would come up again. With no refuge for Spike. "Why don't we finish this later?" he suggested, hoping that she would forget in the interim. "You need to take your medicine and get some proper rest."

Rose wondered what had been going on in Spike's head during the pauses, but she could see that something wasn't sitting right with him now. She disappeared into the bathroom again and came back with a glass of water, then let Spike see that she actually took the pills, this time.

"Under the covers, pet," he instructed her. "Fragile as you are now, last thing you need is a chill." He watched as she settled herself down into bed. "Do you need anything?"

"Can you sing to me again?" she asked. "A couple of times last night, I woke up enough to hear you. It was very sweet."

"The things I do for you," he said softly. He smiled at her to let her know he wasn't really complaining. "Just lay back and close those pretty eyes, luv." He watched as she complied, then started singing. "They told me last night there were ships in the offing. So I hurried down to the deep rolling sea..," He lay beside her and sang to her until her soft, regular breathing told him she was asleep. He got up. "Back in a minute, pet," he whispered to the sleeping figure. Then, he went to see if Angel was still up. He loved her to distraction, but at this point in time, he needed another man to talk to.

&&&&&&&

Angel was sitting in the living room with his nose in a book. "Is she asleep?" he asked without turning around.

"How'd you know I was coming out here?" Spike asked. "You getting tuned into my presence like she is? Because that is so not right."

"I heard the singing stop," Angel said. "And, I just had a hunch that you'd be out here. If for no other reason than to brag about how she looks in whatever you picked out for her."

"Not what I wanted to talk about," Spike said. "God, she's beautiful. I still can't believe that she's never.., been with anyone before."

"Never been with anyone?" Angel asked. Then he remembered who and what she really was, and just how long she'd been human, and it hit him right between the eyes. "And you're hoping to get your body back so that you can be the first?"

"I want my body back all right," Spike agreed. "And I do want to be with her. But, it's a little.., oh hell, it scares me. Suppose I do something wrong and put her right off it for life?"

"That never bothered you before," Angel pointed out. "And first time or tenth time or thousandth time, that's still a possibility. If it ever happens, I guess you'll just have to lead with your heart and hope it works out."

"A fat lot of good you are," Spike grumbled. "Is that the best advice you can give?"

"Probably the best that you can get," Angel said. "But if you're that worried about it, maybe you ought to do some serious thinking about it now, while the question is still theoretical."

"Like I'm going to be able to think about much else." The troubled expression on Spike's face eased a bit, and traces of a smile became evident. "Almost like she's been waiting for me."

Angel sighed. He had a very unpleasant feeling that when everything blew up, he was going to be the one to deal with a heart-broken Spike. And he couldn't see a possibility where it wouldn't happen that way.


	17. False Alarms

94

After his less than satisfactory talk with Angel, Spike resumed his self-appointed post as Rose's protector. And it wasn't that much of a hardship. Being incorporeal, he could move about as he liked without fear of disturbing her, and he never tired of looking at the lady.

&&&&&

Angel sat in reflection. He found the change in Spike's personality almost beyond belief. True, he'd always shown a certain amount of solicitude towards the lady he was with, but his total selflessness where Rose was concerned was completely unprecedented. Could it be possible that Spike was finally growing up? At least insofar as relationships were concerned.

&&&&&&

The first thing Rose saw upon opening her eyes was Spike, gazing at her with a look on his face that warmed her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She was unaware that the look she gave him in return was equally revealing.

"Morning, luv," Spike murmured. "You slept like a babe in arms last night. How you feeling?"

"Just fine," she answered. "Am I allowed to get up and dressed now?"

Spike pretended to consider. "I don't know," he teased. "Didn't do too well at obeyin' doctor's orders."

"And if you're not going to be serious," she replied, sitting up. "Then I'm just going to do as I please." She got out of bed. Her back was to Spike as she bent to remove some clothes from her suitcase.

Spike whistled.

Rose stood up abruptly, face aflame. "What was that for?"

"Nice ass." Spike smirked at her. Over the long, uneventful hours of the night he'd come to a decision about presenting a cheerful front. No more dumping his depression and frustrations on Rose.

She forced a smile, even though the blush flamed hotter. But she wasted no time in retreating into the bathroom to change.

&&&&&&&

When they went into the living room, Angel was already up and on the phone. "Are you sure? You need some sleep too, Wes. I'm sure she will." He turned and looked at Rose. "She looks fine, and she does have a certain amount of interest in the subject. Yeah, later. Get some rest." After he hung up, he turned his full attention to Rose. "Are you up to a little research work, Rose? Wes has been up all night, but the leads go off in so many directions he hasn't been able to pursue them all."

Before Rose could express her assent, Spike jumped in. "Hang about," he protested. "You're trying to put her to work and you haven't even offered her breakfast yet, you flaming idiot." A suspicious look crossed his features. "You did think to get something she could eat, didn't you?" Seeing the look on Angel's face, Spike's expression became disgusted. "Don't tell me you've got nothin' but blood in the fridge."

"We were in kind of a hurry," Angel said mildly, but looking rather shamefaced.

"I don't usually eat in the morning," Rose put in. "So it's not really..,"

"Oh yes it is," Spike interrupted. "One, you haven't been well, so you need to eat." He gave Rose a stern look. "Two, please don't interrupt, luv, I'm trying to teach the big pouf some manners."

&&&&&

Wesley rubbed his eyes, but it didn't help, they felt like someone had dumped sand in them. He hadn't really intended to pull an all nighter, but the project did involve a certain sense of urgency. And it was terribly distracting, having things going off in half a dozen directions. He'd had a few tantalizing hints, but nothing he'd been able to follow through to completion yet. So far he had steadfastly refrained from scanning the actual Chronicles themselves, but had confined himself to peripheral works. Then, there was the ever present difficulty of differentiating what was true, what was a lie, and what was simply blown out of proportion mythos. He blinked groggily. He'd just read one sentence several times and still had no idea what it had said. He wasn't even alert enough to drive, so he just dragged himself over to the sofa, a perk of being a department head, and flung himself on it, and was asleep before he even hit it.

&&&&&&

Rose crept into Wes' office and smiled at the comatose figure on the sofa. She sat down at his desk and began bringing herself up to speed on his progress. It certainly was peaceful here. She had tippy-toed out of Angel's apartment unnoticed while Angel and Spike had been engaged in a heated argument. As far as she knew, they were still at it.

Wesley's phone rang, but since it didn't disturb the sleeping Watcher, she decided not to announce her presence here. It was nice that people cared enough to be so attentive, but she hadn't had a moment to herself since she'd had her fainting spell, and she had been human just long enough to appreciate the occasional bit of privacy. Eventually, the phone ceased ringing, and Rose buckled down, happy to be rid of the disturbance.

She'd been working for about an hour when Spike showed up. One glance at his face was enough for her to tell that he was furious.

"What'n hell did you mean, sneaking off like that?" he shouted. "I been from one end of this place to the other, plus your digs. The whole point of you staying with Peaches was to keep you safe and secure. Do you have any idea how bloody scared I was for you?"

Rose hung her head, not bothering to try to defend herself, or even reply. It hadn't occurred to her, she simply hadn't thought. Not until she had seen how angry Spike was, and she realized just how big a mistake she'd made.

Finally, his tirade wound down. "Got anything to say for yourself, pet?" he asked. He was no longer shouting, but he still sounded way and beyond pissed.

"I'm sorry," she squeaked. Her throat was constricted, trying to fight back the threatening tears. He was upset enough, and she didn't want to add to it. "I just didn't think, Spike. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Worry?" Spike knelt beside the chair and looked up at her. "I wasn't worried, babe, I was terrified. I was afraid something had happened to you."

Rose at last was able to bring herself to look at him and felt a stab of the frustration Spike had displayed at being denied a physical presence. Because she suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch him, stroke his cheek, some small gesture that would say more than words possibly could. She must have made some tiny movement, quickly retracted, but that he detected, because his features immediately softened, as he realized what she had wanted to do.

"Sucks, don't it?" he observed in much gentler tones. "Please, sweetheart, promise me that you won't ever do that to me again."

"I won't do it again, love, I promise." Rose's powers of speech were still a bit iffy.

He stood up. "Any progress?" he asked, just as if the previous conversation had never taken place. Forgiven and forgotten.

"I've just about figured out where Wesley was when he stopped," she replied. "As you can see, he wasn't in any shape to fill me in when I got here." A perplexed look crossed her face. "I just don't understand why he would stay up all night like that, though."

"Don't you really?" Once again Spike thought that he had never met a woman, or anyone, indeed, with so little vanity. "Because he likes you, darling girl. Haven't you sussed that out yet? Why everybody's been going to all this fuss? It's because they care about you." He quirked a grin at her that contained a hint of apology in it. "It's why I was half, well, maybe more than half insane with anger. Because I care about you most of all."

Rose practically glowed. Spike might not be able to touch her in a physical sense, but the intensity of his feelings were almost palpable. "I love you, too, that's why no matter what happens, all this will be worth it if we can find a way to bring you back. But I am truly sorry I caused such a fuss with my thoughtlessness. Is Angel upset with me too?"

"Almost forgot about the ponce," Spike admitted. "You want to be picking up that phone and calling him, luv. He said the numbers on one of those speed dial buttons. Percy ought to have it labeled."

"Percy?" He'd lost her again.

Spike cocked his head towards the sleeping Watcher. "That one," he explained. "Now why don't you make that call, pet?"

Rose found the right button and pushed it, and became aware that her hands were shaking. The only light on the horizon was that Angel was just a friend, so, hopefully he wouldn't be as angry at her.

"Angel?" So soft and tentative, that if he hadn't had a vampire's excellent hearing, he would have missed it.

"Rose?" Angel's voice was flooded with relief. "Where are you?"

"Wesley's office," she said. "Spike found me and told me I ought to call you." She knew she ought to explain, or apologize, but her voice was shaking as badly as her hands.

"I'm not going to read you the riot act," Angel said. "I'm sure you already got that from your boyfriend."

"You could say that," Rose agreed. Since he was being so calm about it, she was able to steady herself. "I'm sorry I was such a bother."

"As long as it doesn't happen again," he replied. "I'll be down there in a few minutes." He hung up abruptly.

"He tear a strip out of you, pet?" Spike asked.

Rose smiled, a little grimly. "No. I think he figured I'd gotten enough of a lecture from you. But he's on his way down here. I wonder why?"

"'Cause you took off before your breakfast got there, that's why," he explained. "And I seem to recall a certain, very pretty lady promising me to look after herself. I hope you keep your other promise to me a little better than that, luv. I'm a bit disappointed in you."

Rose felt one of those stabbing pains in the region of her heart. Another thing she hadn't thought of. But what hurt the worst of the whole sorry business was that she had let him down, again.

Spike saw her face fall as the realization hit, and it struck him that he had as much power over her as she had over him. Not for the inconsequential things, like wearing pretty clothes, but for the really important stuff, and it left him a little awestruck. None of the ladies in his unlife had ever given him the emotional return that Rose did. "I know you're not feeling quite yourself, pet," he said gently. "Because you're too considerate to do that to a person as a rule. So why don't we try to forget this nonsense ever happened? How about showing me those adorable dimples?"

And because he was smiling at her, Rose couldn't help smiling back.

Then, Angel arrived.


	18. Light on the Horizon

101

Angel was followed in by a nondescript person pushing a wheeled cart with a domed cover on top. Tantalizing scents drifted out from under the cover. Once the cart was well inside the room, the menial turned and left.

Angel came around the desk, grabbed hold of the chair back and wheeled Rose over to the cart. He removed the cover with a flourish. "Eat," he ordered.

"Blimey," Spike muttered. "Where'd all that come from?"

"Executive dining room," Angel explained. "I kind of forgot it was there."

"Well, it's not like you got much call for it, do you, mate?" the specter quipped. "Dig in, luv," he urged Rose.

Rose was looking at the array somewhat dismayed. "How many people did you order for, Angel? I can't possibly eat all this."

"Then I'll give you a hand with it," came a groggy voice from the other side of the room. When telephones and even a shouting ghost had failed to wake Wesley, the smell of food had. "How long have I been asleep?"

"No more than two hours," Angel replied. "Since that's about how long ago it was when you called me."

"Have you found anything yet, Rose?" Wesley started tucking in unashamedly.

"I may be on the track of something," Rose said slowly, between nibbles on a croissant. "But I'll have to double-check a few things. I got distracted."

"Distracted?" Wesley said through a mouthful of food. He swallowed. "Sorry. I didn't have any dinner last night." He looked back to Rose, waiting for an answer.

Crimson flame crept up Rose's face. "I can't believe all that yelling didn't wake you up," she muttered.

Angel turned on Spike. "You yelled at her?"

Spike glared back defiantly. "I bleedin' well did. She about scared it out of me, and all things considered, that's quite a trick."

Rose turned to Wesley. "And now you can see why I snuck out. I had had about all I could stand of hearing those two bicker and fuss."

Wesley gave her an understanding grin, while Spike and Angel whipped their heads around to look at her, with identical expressions on their faces. It struck Rose that the two of them were more alike than either one of them would care to admit, but the similarity of countenance.., she giggled.

"What's so funny?" Spike asked suspiciously.

Rose glanced at Wesley and saw that he had gotten the joke as well. The two of them went off into gales of laughter, leaving the debaters staring at them in confusion.

"Well?" Spike demanded, when they finally wound down.

"I really don't think you'd appreciate the joke," Wesley said.

"I'm sure of it," Rose agreed. Then, she saw the two of them watching her, again with similar expressions, and she just couldn't resist. "Absolutely amazing, they're almost identical."

"What?" From both Angel and Spike. With equally disgusted looks on their faces.

"Well, they spent quite a number of years in each other's company," Wesley reflected. "I'm sure that the time they shared left it's mark."

Angel threw up his hands in defeat and left. Spike was glaring at Wesley. "I am not in the least like him," he muttered. "See you later, pet." He disappeared.

Rose abandoned breakfast. She did, however, appropriate a couple of items from the cart. The salt shaker, and a linen napkin.

"What are you doing?" Wesley queried. It looked like Rose was trying to tear the linen square in half, but with no success. But why she was doing it was beyond him.

Rose gave up on tugging on the thing. "Do you have a pair of scissors in here somewhere?" she asked. "This stuff's just too hard to tear." She thought a moment. "I'll need some twine, too."

Wesley went to his desk and unearthed some scissors and string as well. He forbore from asking her any more questions, but merely watched her. Rose neatly cut the napkin in two, then divided the contents of the salt shaker between the pieces of fabric. Then, she twisted the fabric up around the piles of salt, wound some string around it, then made a largish loop of the string on each one. She slipped one around her neck and handed the other one to her department head.

"Mojos?" Wesley inquired. "You're going to go back into the actual Chronicles, aren't you, Rose?"

Rose nodded. "If I'm right, we'll need the protection, but the salt alone ought to be enough. You see, I don't think it really is a curse, or anything particularly malicious. I think it's a mistake."

"A mistake," he echoed. "You'd better show me what you mean, Rose."

"I think we're going to need the original copy," she said. "Your magic books won't quite do, since we may need the Chronicles themselves to undo the damage."

"I'll have to get Angel to release the text," Wesley muttered. "Do you think you could give me a good enough reason to give him for it? Considering how much trouble it's already caused?"

Rose dimpled. "Just tell him that I said so, and that it will be all right." She thought a moment. "And make sure that he doesn't tell Spike."

"A reasonable precaution," Wes agreed. He called Angel , and it seemed that Rose's word was enough for the vampire to go on. Soon, the two of them were on their ways to the bowels of the building to retrieve the original copy.

&&&&&&

Several hours later, still holed up in Wesley's office, the two heads were bent over the obscure tome. "There it is," said Rose triumphantly. She called up the copy of the text in Wesley's reference book. "That phrase is very crabbed and hard to read," she explained. "And it's quite possible that the scribe himself was illiterate, they often were."

"Yes," Wesley murmured in agreement. He rummaged around and found a magnifying glass. "I believe that you're right, Rose. The phrase in the copy text reads, 'death unto him who reads this', while the original seems to read the same way. Until a little imagination, and a magnifying glass are applied, then it seems to make it come out as, 'whosoever reads these words will release..,'"

Rose clapped her hand over the Watcher's mouth. "Be careful with that," she cautioned. "I don't want to let the demon-mage out until I'm ready to deal with him."

"Until you're ready..," Wesley was still looking a little shamefaced from what he had almost done, but the thought that she wanted to do it on purpose.., "Why would you want to release him?"

"Think about it, Wesley," she said. "If Ahmed Al-Shere was powerful and knowledgeable enough to seal his essence in a book to be released at a future date, what else may he be able to do?" Seeing that he still hadn't gotten her point, she added, "Spike."

"Oh." Understanding dawned. "Do you really think that he'll be able to help you with Spike? And more to the point, why would he?"

"Oh, I think he'll be repaid and plenty just by us releasing him," Rose replied blithely. "But we're definitely going to need some stronger protection than a couple of bags of salt. Just in case."

"I agree." Wesley stood and stretched. "Is there any coffee left?"

&&&&&&

They had let Angel in on the secret, they had to. Wesley felt it expedient to have a fully armed team ready to dispose of the demon should it prove unreasonable. Spike, they hadn't seen since breakfast, and Rose felt a certain amount of reluctance in regards to telling him about her plan. He might dismiss it as being too dangerous. Also, she was afraid of getting his hopes up in fear of having to dash them to the ground again. Then, there were all sorts of magical protections to arrange, bless, and bespell. At last, all was in readiness.

"That's it, I think," Rose said, tiredly. "But I think we'd better wait until tomorrow, we're both done in."

"I agree." Wesley stifled a yawn. "We're going to have to be sharp to deal with Al-Shere." Another yawn overtook him.

"What about the book?" she asked. "I don't think it should be left out. It's too dangerous. Should we return it to the vault?"

"And have to go through all that rigmarole getting it back again tomorrow?" Wes asked. "Tell you what, Rose, why don't I just walk you, and the book up to Angel's apartment. It ought to be safe there." Accordingly, the pair left the office. Wesley with the volume in question tucked under his arm.

"Do we have some kind of warding we can put on it, just in case?" Rose inquired. "If one mistranslated phrase could cause so many deaths, and nearly cause mine, I'd rather play it as safe as possible."

"Put it on some flat surface and ring it with salt," Wesley directed. "That ought to be enough. Remember, when we really started looking into the deaths, they would all have been avoidable if the persons involved had known enough to take precautions. We do know."

"All right," she said dubiously. "But only if Angel says it's okay. If he doesn't, then we'll just have to put up with the inconvenience of returning it to the vaults and getting it back in the morning."

"Have you thought about telling Spike about it?" Wesley asked, as they left the office.

"I don't know," she confessed. "I'd like to tell him. If Ahmed Al-Shere consents to help us, he may need to do some kind of reading on Spike to know exactly what kind of spell he needs to use. On the other hand, I'm afraid that Spike may have some reservations about accepting help from him. At least, unless we present it to him fait accompli."

"Why wouldn't Spike want to get his physical body back?" Wesley was mystified.

"I didn't say he didn't want it," Rose remarked. "It's just that if he finds out what we're contemplating, he may get a bit.., tetchy. About me doing something so potentially dangerous."

"I see." Wesley stood to one side to allow Rose to get in an elevator. "Do you really think that it was that misfired curse that caused the doctor to mistakenly prescribe for you?"

"Evidence to date suggests that it did," she pointed out. "There are a lot of dead bodies that are directly attributed to that book. I think I just got very, very lucky."

"Are you sure it was just luck?" he asked. "Couldn't it have something to do with..," Wesley let the sentence trail off, afraid of letting more out. He was certain that Rose would get the point.

Rose shook her head. "I sincerely doubt it. When one of us as an individual has a particular assignment, the rest of us don't interfere. And there have been occasions when one of us has returned prematurely because of the destruction of the host body."

"Host body?" Wesley repeated. "You didn't take someone else's body, did you, Rose?" He was utterly appalled at the notion.

"Of course not, Wesley." The elevator stopped and they stepped out. "I made it."

The ex-Watcher rolled his eyes. "I should have known better than to ask," he muttered. "What happens to it when you're done with it?"

"It will.., disperse," she murmured thoughtfully. "At least, that's the theory. I've never personally done it before. But since it's made from odds and ends floating about that I coaxed together, without my awareness to hold it together, that's what ought to happen."

"Incredible," he muttered. "You know, our information is sketchy at best, about you and your.., friends. I don't suppose that you would..,"

"Nice try." She smiled at him. "You're not supposed to know. If you did, you might get ideas. Like that you know better than we do." The smile became a frown. "Oh dear, that sounds terribly conceited, doesn't it? But we do have rather more perspective than you do."

"Conceded," Wesley agreed. He knocked on Angel's door, which was flung open almost instantly. Despite the sound-proofing, Angel had probably heard them coming. Even sound-proofing had its weak points.

Angel's eyes bugged a little when he saw what his head researcher was carrying. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked.

"The Chronicles of Ahmed Al-Shere," Wesley confirmed. "With your permission, I'd like to store it here for the night. Rose and I will need it again tomorrow."

"Will it be safe here?" he inquired. "Or, more to the point, will Rose be safe with it so near her?"

"I've given her instructions on warding it," Wesley replied. "It should be safe enough for one night. And Spike is still keeping an eye on her, isn't he?"

"You're damned right I am," Spike said, coming through a convenient wall. He walked up to Rose and peered at her solicitously. "Seeing as it was supposed to be a day off, you look all done in, luv," he observed. The mojo caught his eye. "What've you been up to?"

"Take my advice, Wesley," Rose said. "Make a strategic retreat while you can. And try to get a decent night's sleep."

Wesley's jaw was almost snapped by an enormous yawn. "That, I suspect," he mumbled, "will not be a problem." He set the book down and half-stumbled out of the apartment.

"Do you think he's fit to drive home?" Rose asked Angel.

"I'll have someone head him off in the parking garage and give him a lift," Angel assured her. "I don't think he's up to it any more than you do."

Rose moved away a bit to give Angel a bit of privacy while he made his call.

"You didn't answer my question, pet," Spike accused. "What's with the bag of magic tricks?"

"Just a little safety precaution," she soothed him. "Nothing dangerous." Then honesty compelled her to add, "at least, I hope not."

Before Spike could question her further, Angel rejoined them. "Wes said something about warding that book," he reminded her. "Is there anything you need for the wards?"

"Just a quantity of salt," she replied. "With luck, tonight will be the last time that book is in any way dangerous. We could have gone on, but Wes and I were both so tired, that we thought we'd better wait."

Angel nodded. "When Wes called me, I ordered you some dinner. It ought to be here soon. We can tell whoever delivers it to bring the salt you need." He felt kind of restless, in need of some soothing himself. He walked over to his entertainment center and started flipping through c.d.s.

"If you put on Barry Manilow," Spike warned. "I'll walk through that thing and screw up the circuitry."

"You can do that?" Rose asked.

"Did it by accident in the lab one day," he admitted. "Mucked up a rather delicate and expensive piece of electronic equipment. Fred wasn't half pissed. Something to do with what there is of me having some kind of electrical signature."

The room was suddenly filled with the strains of Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. Spike rolled his eyes.

"I like it," Rose defended Angel's choice of music. Spike shrugged his shoulders and gave up. He wasn't going to argue with her over something so petty. One of these nights though, he thought, he'd get his nancy-boy grandsire to take them out somewhere where Rose could hear some decent tunes.

&&&&&&

Rose climbed wearily into bed. Tonight she was wearing the green gown, and looked every bit as alluring as she had in the other. Spike settled in beside her.

"You going to take some of those sleeping pills, pet?" he asked.

Rose shook her head, burrowing it into the pillows. "I don't think so," she mumbled. "I'm already so tired that I feel like my head's about to fall off. I don't think I need the pills."

"If you get too antsy during the night, I'll wake you up and make you take 'em," he promised. "You wearing that thing to bed, sweetheart?" He indicated the bag around her neck.

Rose frowned, sat up and put the bag on the bedside table. "I'd better not," she remarked. "It might fall apart."

Spike forgot his resolutions about not letting her see his discontent with the current state of affairs. "Wish I could at least kiss you good-night," he muttered.

"So do I," she murmured sleepily. "Good-night, love."

"Sleep well, precious." And once more, Spike began a night-long vigil, watching over his beloved.


	19. The Demon's Kiss

106

Rose was tired enough to sleep soundly, but nervous enough to be up betimes.

"What's the rush, luv?" Spike asked. "It's still dark out. Give Percy a chance to get his beauty rest."

Rose tried to smile at the lame jest, but it was a feeble effort at best. Even though it was inordinately early, she got up, showered and dressed anyway. She knew that trying to got back to sleep would have been an exercise in futility.

Spike didn't know what to make of it. Rose was so keyed up he could almost swear he could see her vibrate with nervous energy. He knew well and good it wasn't the first demon she'd dealt with, so this had to be something more. At present, though, she wasn't volunteering any information, and Spike decided that now was probably not the best time to ask. She looked ready to jump out of her skin.

Rose had finally puttered about in the bedroom as much as she could, so she moved the act into the living room. There, dead center of the coffee table sat the book, a protective ring of salt around it, just as it had been left the previous night.

She sat down, propped her face in her hands and stared at the volume as though she expected it to speak to her. Even sitting, though, she radiated an energy that almost hummed in the air.

Spike took a nearby chair. "It's behaved itself all night, pet," he remarked. "What makes you think it's going to start acting up now?"

"Spike," she began, ignoring his question. "I have to ask you to do something for me, and it's very, very important."

Normally, Spike would have enthusiastically offered to do whatever she pleased, if only it would make her happy. But this favor, he suspected, was in an entirely different category. "What do you want me to do, luv?" he inquired cautiously.

"When Wesley and I.., perform the ritual." She stopped for a deep breath. She'd almost said summon the demon, and that would have ruined everything. "I want you to wait in the next room until I call you, please."

Of everything Spike could have imagined she'd ask him, that one had never even made the list. "Why don't you want me there?" he queried a bit suspiciously.

She summoned up an almost natural smile. "Because you're a distraction, darling, even when you're not saying anything." The smile grew and her eyes got a little dreamy. "At least, I find you very distracting."

Spike grinned back at her and made it work. He was a lot better at this than she was. He was dead certain that she was up to something now. "So what are you not telling me, sweetheart?" he asked casually. "I can tell you're keeping things from me, so I can only assume that it's something you don't think I'd like."

She sighed. Aside from the fact that she didn't like trying to deceive him, she still found untruths very unpalatable. But she couldn't tell him everything. He'd object and create a fuss and perhaps ruin a chance, however slim to make him corporeal again.She decided to give him a little of the truth, and see if he'd accept it as the whole. "The rite we'll be performing isn't entirely to banish the demon," she said slowly. "Actually, it will summon it." Seeing a big objection coming up, she hurriedly added, "But not to worry, Wesley and I will be taking every precaution imaginable."

Somehow, Spike found that he wasn't too surprised. "It's been my experience in dealing with demons," he observed calmly, "that the precautions you need are the ones that aren't imaginable." He regarded her steadily. "So why exactly are you planning on summoning the demon?"

"We need to ask him something," she mumbled. Why did she think she could even start to hide anything from Spike. He obviously saw right through her. The question now was, would he keep at her, let her keep what little was left of her secret, or work it out for himself?

"There's only one thing I can think of that's important enough to you to go to that kind of risk," Spike responded, looking into her eyes. "The same reason you were reading that effing book in the first place." His voice became a little heated. "Did you really think that I'd want you doing something that damn dangerous on my account?"

Rose, looking shamefaced, muttered, "Of course not, why do you think I wasn't going to tell you?" She forced herself to look him in the eye. "But think about it, Spike. If Ahmed Al-Shere could put himself into a book like that his knowledge might cover what we need to know to..,"

"Get yourself into a whole lot of trouble, precious," Spike finished for her. "Sweet girl, trust me on this one. I've been around demons a lot longer than most. And the last thing you want is to owe a demon a favor. Just get rid of him and have done with it."

"But we won't owe him a favor," she argued. "He'll owe us one for freeing him. Wesley and I have gone over the whole thing from top to bottom more than once. And there'll be a listening device in the room so that Angel and that special ops team can hear and come running if things get sticky."

Despite himself, Spike was starting to see an insane kind of logic in her arguments. "Why not have Peaches and his pals in the next room with me?" he asked bluntly. "The farther away they are, the farther they'll have to come to pull you and the Watcher out of the fire, pet."

"They won't be very far away," she promised. "But we thought that the next room might be too close. We don't want to tip our hand too soon. The demon might get suspicious."

"They usually are," Spike remarked. "Is there any way at all I can talk you out of this, Rose? I really don't like the idea of you putting yourself in harms way like this."

"The greater the risk, the greater the potential gain," she said softly, gazing at him with a look that would have melted his heart had he had one. It still did all kinds of strange and wonderful things to him. "I happen to think you're worth any amount of risk."

Spike sighed. He'd lost this one, and he knew it. In her own sweet way, the lady was every bit as stubborn as he was. He vanished suddenly.

Rose was startled. She'd expected more arguments, questions, something. But not a disappearing act. She sat there, heart thumping uncontrollably while she tried to figure out what she'd done to send him off like that. Then, she felt something drop down over her head, and saw the protective charm she'd constructed the day before.

"You forgot it," he observed mildly. Carrying that damned mojo that far had fair taken it out of him, metaphorically speaking. "Since I can't make you see sense, the next best thing I can do is to make sure you cover all the bases."

&&&&&&&&

Rose and Wesley finished the final lines of the wards around them. They'd actually be summoning the demon into the circle with them, that couldn't be helped. But the circle should keep the demon from going elsewhere until and unless they were ready for it to go.

Rose felt the uncomfortable and unaccustomed bulk of the gun in her pocket. When Wes had handed it to her, she had protested, pointing out that she had never handled a firearm before. Wesley had stood firm.

"At the range we'll be at," he'd pointed out. "It would be almost impossible to miss. If the demon looks to be ready to cause any trouble at all, I want you to draw that gun and shoot and worry about what you're hitting later. I'd rather die in the attempt than to set Ahmed Al-Shere loose with no constraints."

In fact, the gun was a very small caliber weapon, a 'ladies handbag gun', Wesley had called it. She'd practically have to shoot someone right in the eye to do any serious damage with it.

Wesley and Rose exchanged a glance. "Ready, Rose?" Wes asked.

"As ready as I can be," she said a little shakily. "I really hope this works."

"Demons are notoriously slippery customers," he remarked. "Don't put too much faith in this, Rose. All things considered, you're still probably Spike's best hope."

Rose didn't quite know how to respond to the statement, so she just said, "Let's have this over and done with."

Wesley picked up the book and opened it to the pertinent section. "Do you want to read it, Rose? You seem to have a better grasp of the accent than I do. I've never been too good with demon languages."

Rose took the volume like it was going to bite her. She knew why the Watcher had had her read the spell, and it wasn't because he lacked any talent with languages. It was because he was better able to defend her than the other way around. With a tremulous voice, she read out the necessary words.

There was a noise like a thunderclap, that nearly knocked the pair of them off their feet. Then, standing in front of them, still within the confines of the warding circle, stood Ahmed Al-Shere.

The creature stood easily six and a half feet tall, green and scaly with a definite reptilian mien. Somehow, the middle-eastern style of dress seemed incongruous on such an inhuman creature.

"At last," the creature muttered in a guttural bass voice. "To be free. To be able to use the senses." It started to take a step, and was stopped by the wards. It turned its gaze to its summoners. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Nothing's for free," remarked Wesley calmly. "Including freedom itself. We have freed you, partially. If you want the rest of your freedom, it will cost you something."

"Pitiful mortals," it said in disdain. "I could end your lives in a heartbeat. How dare you make demands of one whom you should be worshipping?"

"Perhaps you would allow us to make our request before you dismiss it out of hand?" Rose asked tentatively. She was trying to be brave, but she was shaking like a leaf.

"What a lovely child," the demon observed. "State your proposal. I will listen."

"There is a.., friend of ours," Rose said shakily. "He died while wearing a magical amulet. When the amulet was returned here, he was brought back, but as spirit only. We thought you might know how to..,"

"Bring him back?" Ahmed Al-Shere laughed, and it was a spine-chilling sound. "Where is this specter?"

"I'm here." Spike walked through the door. True, Rose hadn't summoned him, yet. But it did seem to be his cue.

The demon eyed him with little apparent interest. "It will be a difficult task," it observed. "I find that the payment is insufficient."

"What else do you require?" Wesley asked. He'd been prepared for this, even if Rose hadn't.

The demon's attention seemed to be fixed on Rose. "So untouched," it murmured. "So pure. I can practically taste the sweetness of it." The demon addressed Rose directly. "Is the restoration of your friend worth your virtue, child?" It reached out a taloned hand to caress her cheek, and she flinched back.

It laughed again. "So you like not this visage, do you? Perhaps this one will be more to your taste." A shimmer of light, and instead of the reptilian demon stood what appeared to be a man. Tall, tall as the demon form had been. Swarthy of skin, with jet-black hair waving down to his shoulders. Face set in a permanent sneer. Eyes so dark as to be almost black, and a vivid, jagged red scar running the length of his left cheek. "Answer me now, child," he said, in the self-same voice as the demon. "Will you lay with me to bring your friend back?"

"She bloody well will not!" Spike responded sharply from without the circle. "Keep your meathooks off her, demon, she's mine."

"I did not ask you, spirit," Ahmed said mildly enough. "I asked her." His eyes fixed themselves on Rose once more. "I await your answer, child." This time, his hand shot out so quickly that Rose could not evade it, and wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. "Do you care enough about him to let me taste your innocence?"

"Let go of her," Spike demanded, going to game face.

"A vampire?" For the first time, the demon seemed surprised. "You wish me to regenerate a vampire?"

"Not at the price you're asking," Wesley stated firmly. "Release the lady. Either make a more reasonable request, or consider the deal to be off."

"She has not yet given an answer," Ahmed Al-Shere rasped. "I will hear it from no other lips but hers." He looked down at the aforementioned lips, and started to bend down as if to kiss them. He suddenly doubled over as the report of Rose's weapon gave her answer. Wesley calmly produced something a little more lethal and emptied the clip into the demon's head. It fell to the floor and lay still. There was another soft thud as Rose's small weapon dropped from her limp hand.

Spike hovered outside the circle in impotent fury. This was the worst, the absolute worst. He wanted to be inside that circle. He wanted the demon to be alive so he could wrap his hands around its throat and slowly choke the life out of it, to beat it to a bloody pulp for daring to lay a hand on Rose.

Angel and the team of toughs raced in, only to find that they'd missed everything. It was over, including the shooting.

Wesley hurriedly began undoing the wards. He wanted to get Rose out and away from the demon's corpse. She was most decidedly a little green around the gills. He'd barely opened the protective circle then she went bolting to the loo, where she could be heard being violently sick.

Angel turned to the now unnecessary team. "Get that thing out of here," he ordered. "Burn it, scatter the ashes, whatever seems the best way to make sure that it won't be coming back again." He turned to Spike. "Do you want me to..," he jerked his head in the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll call you if I need help, ponce," Spike muttered, allowing his features to slip back to normal. He vanished, and then Angel and Wesley could hear him speaking softly and soothingly to Rose.

&&&&&&

"It was a nice try, luv," Spike said later, when Rose was ensconced comfortably in bed. "I'm afraid I could have told you it was doomed from the start."

"I had to try," Rose said dispiritedly. It had been Spike's best chance to date, and it broke her heart that it had blown up in her face.

"No more mucking about trying to make deals with demons," he said firmly. "I'd rather see that Amalyar demon trying to make a meal of you than that poncey bastard macking on you."

Rose summoned up a wan smile. "Was it really that bad for you?"

He favored her with a tender smile of his own. "You'll never know, pet," he said softly. "But I'd rather be like this forever than to have anything happen to you. In case you haven't gotten it through your pretty little head, I love you."

"If the tables were turned," she asked softly. "Would you have taken the risk for me?" A small pause. "And I love you too."

"Dirty pool, precious," Spike murmured. "I'd walk into the daylight with a cross in each hand for you. So I guess we're even."

"I guess we are." Rose snuggled down in the pillows, feeling warmed as much by his love as the blankets covering her.


	20. Warm Fuzzies

111

While Rose and Wesley's preparations for summoning the demon had taken some time, not to mention the time they spent actually engaged in the pursuit, it was still quite early in the day when Rose, against her protests, had been put to bed. She had slept, however, the physical and emotional strain had taken their toll. Spike, as was becoming his habit, laid on the bed beside her. In his current state, he didn't really require sleep, but he found that laying there, listening to the regular sounds of her breathing was very relaxing. And after the sights he had witnessed that day, he felt in serious need of some relaxation.

The problem with going to sleep so early, Rose reflected upon waking, was that one woke up extraordinarily early as well. Through the window she could see that it was still full dark outside. Spike lay still, eyes closed, and she thought that as long as she gave no sign of wakefulness, he would probably stay that way. She repressed a sigh. It was so incredibly frustrating! To have been so close to her goal and then to have it all fall through. Well, at least now, she could read the rest of the Chronicles without fear of something untoward happening. She hoped. She rolled over on her side to face Spike, hoping that he would take the movement to be one natural to sleep and continue with his own rest. She just wanted to look at him.

As soon as Rose moved, though, Spike's eyes snapped open. "What's the matter, luv? Can't sleep?" He turned to face her as well, and they lay there, almost nose to nose.

"No," she answered. "Or rather, yes. I slept most of the day away. I think I'm all slept out." She stretched without changing position much, arching her back like a cat's. "I'm all wide awake now, and practically the whole world seems to be asleep."

"You think so?" Spike rose from the bed and went over to stand by the window. "Come here a minute, sweetheart." Rose joined him. "Look down there at the city, Rose. All sorts up and about at all hours. But the really smart ones are tucked up safe and sound. Lots of dangerous things lurking out there in the night."

She saw what he was getting at. Points of light from the headlights of cars moved about the landscape, little dots like a horde of frantic fireflies. "The city itself seems like a living thing," she marveled. "Never either fully awake or asleep."

"Some cities are like that," Spike agreed. "Have a life all their own. Usually stuck to the larger cities, till the last few. Easier hunting, and harder to be detected."

"Do you miss it?" Rose asked softly. "The hunting, the feeding off humans? I know that as a vampire, it's in your nature."

Spike shrugged. "I still like a good fight, but there's plenty of things that need fighting without preying on innocent people. As far as feeding, blood is blood. Some better than others, but it's all good." He gave her a quizzical look. "Why are you coming over all curious about this now, babe? You've known what I am, or at least, what I was, almost from the get go."

Rose looked up at him. In the half light, he looked a little odd, since the light didn't reflect off him normally. He was still heart-breakingly handsome. She knew that his appearance was as it had been before he had gone up in flames, and there were hard planes to his face that suggested that hard things had happened to him. Not the lines of age, since he was immune to that, but rather the marks of experience. She didn't realize how long she had been looking and thinking until he spoke again.

"Something wrong, pet?" he asked. "Are you still brooding over the thing with the demon? Take my advice, leave the brooding to my grandsire. He's got it down to an art form."

"Nothing's wrong," Rose assured him. "I was just admiring the view." A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth.

He answered her grin with one of his own. "There are prettier sights to see here than me," he murmured, gazing down at her. "You're so lovely, babe. I guess I can't really blame that demon for wanting you." He reflected for a moment. "If I hadn't been there, would you have taken him up on his offer?"

"It was a little tempting," she confessed. "Not because I wanted to be with him, he made my flesh crawl. But if I had thought I could trust him to keep his word..,"

"You might have done it for me," Spike finished for her. "I don't want you making that kind of sacrifice for me, luv. Not ever. And whether or not I'll ever be able to be with you, or if it's someone else, I hope it will be with someone who loves you." He laughed humorlessly. "I still keep hoping against all odds that it will be me."

"I hope so too," she answered. "Because I don't want it to be anyone else. I can't imagine being in love with anyone but you."

"We're a pair to draw to, aren't we?" Spike smiled down at her. "I don't know which of us is the worst hopeless romantic."

"I thought we agreed that we were even," Rose reminded him. She cocked her head at him. "I wish you wouldn't say it was hopeless, though. There's tons of information that I haven't even touched yet. And, there may be.., other possibilities."

"Are you still going on about the sodding Powers?" he asked. "I hate to burst your bubble, precious, but I think the chances on that one are slim and none. And slim left town."

"You're awfully gloomy," she observed. "I think you've been hanging around Angel too much."

&&&&&&&

Wesley was in the office early, but he still found that Rose had gotten there before him.

"You're up bright and early," he observed. "No ill effects from yesterday, I trust?"

She smiled at him. "Nothing except for getting up in the middle of the night because I slept all day. How are you doing, Wesley?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't that bad, for me. But then, I wasn't the one who got sick, either."

"Even if I thought he'd keep his word," Rose muttered. "Even for Spike, I don't think I could have gone through with it. I started feeling nauseous the moment he touched me."

"Trust your instincts, Rose," Wesley instructed her. "I did some more reading after you turned in yesterday. Ahmed Al-Shere had reasons other than lust for trying to get you to sleep with him. From what I could gather, there was a spell in his possession that would have granted him almost unlimited power if an innocent gave herself to him willingly. That was why he was so insistent on hearing the answer from you."

"I guess that it's a good thing that I didn't..," Rose faltered. "Could we not talk about this any more, Wesley? I think I'm starting to feel queasy again."

"Are you giving up on the Chronicles then?" the ex-Watcher queried. "There's quite a lot of material there, Rose, and I think it might be a mistake to dismiss it out of hand."

"I suppose that I ought to finish what I began," she hesitated. "But it does present a certain amount of conflict for me."

"What sort of conflict?" he asked.

"Between taking care of myself properly, which I promised Spike I'd do," Rose explained. "And not eating so I can read that mad demon's ravings without becoming ill."

"Would you like me to take that one over?" Wesley inquired. "I don't have quite the associations with it that you do."

"But this is my own project," she protested. "And you have a department to run. Why would you do this? For me? Or for Spike?"

"I've been checking here and there ever since Spike arrived," he admitted. "But not with the amount of dedication that you have. But as long as there's nothing really pressing going on at the moment, I suggest that we split the material down the middle. Leave the translations for the time being. We'll concentrate on helping Spike." He looked at her wan features. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

&&&&&&

Rose was busily slogging away, when about mid-morning, she had a completely unexpected visitor. Harmony.

"Hello, Harmony." She greeted the vampire. "What brings you here?"

Harmony eyed Rose speculatively. "Is it true that what they're saying? About you and that demon?"

Rose's eyes went wide. "I don't know, Harmony. I suppose it depends on what they are saying. I had no idea that news of it had gotten around."

Harm shook her head. "You just keep your face stuck in a book or that computer terminal, don't you? You don't have the first idea of what is going on." She glanced around the office. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Go ahead." Rose indicated the chair. "It's kind of refreshing to have someone in here who would rather sit in the chair than on my desk."

"I think it's a guy thing," Harmony said vaguely. "So, why don't you tell me about that demon?"

"I don't mean to be impolite, Harmony," Rose remarked. "But why are you even here? Since I began work here you've acted like I was an interloper. If you want to be friends, I don't have a problem with it. I just don't understand."

Harmony looked embarrassed, and a little ashamed. "I had a little talk with Bl.., with Spike the other day," she confessed. "And after I'd had some time to think about what he said, I wanted to meet the woman who made so much of a change in him."

"Do you miss him?" Rose asked softly.

"Well, the sex was pretty fabulous," Harmony said. "But, you know, most of the rest of the time he just acted like I was the most incredible pest. I don't know why I thought he was in love with me." She shrugged. "But that's old news. I'd really like to hear all about that demon. The ops guy I'm dating didn't really have very many details."

"I'll try to keep my breakfast down and tell you about the demon if you'll answer one question for me, Harmony," Rose replied. "I understand that Spike treated you pretty badly when the two of you were together, but do you think he really deserves to go to hell forever? And don't say what you think I want to hear," she added. "Say what you think, I promised you a story for an answer, not a story for the right, or wrong answer."

"Spike could be a real creep sometimes," Harmony admitted. "But there were other times when he was so sweet. I was pretty mad at him for a long time, but I don't think I could ever be mad enough to want him to go to hell." She sat up straighter with a little bounce. "There's your silly answer. Now, I want my story."

&&&&&&

Spike popped into Rose's office at about the time she usually took her lunch break, just in time to see a familiar backside disappearing out the door.

"Was that Harm?" he asked. "She been bugging you again, luv?"

Rose looked thoughtful. "Actually, I think Harmony and I have come to terms with each other. She's a very unusual person," she mused. "Almost like a child in a woman's body, I think. But she can be quite nice when she wants to be."

"She can also be a royal pain in the ass," Spike remarked, sitting on the desk. "You sure she wasn't giving you a hard time now? You're looking a little peaked, pet."

"Harmony wanted to hear about the encounter with Ahmed Al-Shere in all it's gory glory," Rose said with a grimace. "She's dating one of the men in the ops team that was with Angel, that's how she knew anything about it at all. But giving her all the details nearly made me lose my breakfast. I'm just glad Wesley took over researching the Chronicles, it..,"

"He what?" Hearing that Wesley had taken over part of Rose's private research was even more of a revelation than a kinder, gentler Harmony.

"He said that there's nothing really pressing going on right now," she explained. "So, he's going to help me with my research, and that's all I'm going to be doing until further notice."

"Why would Percy give a rat's ass about whether or not I get a body?" Spike asked suspiciously. "Has he been hitting on you?"

"Wesley wouldn't harm me," Rose said in shock. "What made you say that?"

Spike couldn't suppress a grin. A common enough phrase, and yet it went right over her head. "I meant that he was coming on to you, luv." Her expression didn't become any more enlightened. "Making overtures?"

He had finally hit on one that she understood. "Don't be silly, Spike. Why would he want to do that? Besides, he was doing a little research on the subject on his own since you arrived here. He just didn't put much time into it."

"It's a bloody marvel," Spike mused. "You get Harm's feathers unruffled, no easy task, I can tell you, and then you get the Watcher to help try to get my body back. I still haven't got you figured out, precious. Who exactly are you?"

"Someone who loves you," she replied, and he had to be satisfied with the answer.

&&&&&&

Rose climbed into bed. Her own bed in her own apartment. Since the danger from the cursed book had been abated, even Angel had to concede that she was as safe on her own as she had ever been. He had, however, extended her invitation to stay with him for as long as she liked. She had thanked him sweetly and genuinely, and moved out anyway. She liked Angel, but she didn't want to spend all her time under his watchful eye. From the look of relief that Spike had displayed at her answer, she figured that he had felt pretty much the same way.

As she settled down on her pillow, Spike climbed in with her as was becoming his habit. "You don't mind me stopping along all night, do you, pet?"

"No," she responded. "I kind of like it, really." She giggled briefly. "It does look a little incongruous, though, with you being fully dressed and wearing that jacket."

"That can be easily taken care of," Spike remarked. "Should have thought of it myself." A brief shimmer, and he was wearing silky black pajama pants. And nothing else. "Never was much of a one for wearing anything to bed." He gave her a naughty grin. "But I figured this would be about all that your maidenly modesty could take at this point."

Rose started feeling a little dizzy, until she remembered to breathe. "Is that really how you look?"

The smirk was out in full force. "It was," he replied. "Like what you're looking at?" he asked, knowing full well from the expression on her face that she did.

"I was just wondering if this was how you felt when you look at me," she said softly. "Sort of all tingly and warm?" She didn't seem to be able to take her eyes off him.

"Something like that." He refrained from reminding her that he didn't have any physical sensations at his beck and call at the moment. Then, practicality reasserted itself. "You can't get any sleep with your eyes wide open like that, luv. So why don't you turn out the light and shut them?"

"Maybe I'd just like to stay awake and look." She felt an almost uncontrollable urge to reach out and touch him, to see if he felt as good as he looked. Only the sure knowledge of what would happen if she tried, prevented her.

"You'll just make yourself crazy, sweetheart, trust me." Spike was beginning to think he had made a mistake in his change of attire.

"Maybe I already am." Rose reached over and flicked off the light.


	21. Be Careful What You Wish For

116

A few days later, Rose was plugging away at her research. And still, getting nowhere, fast. Wesley had stopped by periodically to exchange notes with her, but he wasn't making progress any faster than she was. She was beginning to feel that Spike was right and that she wouldn't find anything. Only sheer stubbornness and a genuine desire to do whatever she could for Spike kept her going. She didn't know what was motivating Wesley, and wasn't sure she cared, she was simply grateful for the help.

She was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't hear her department head enter the room, and was unaware that he was there until he spun her chair around away from the desk.

"Wesley!" she yelped. "Give a person a little warning, will you?" She pulled a strand of hair around in front of her eyes and stared at in intently.

"What are you doing?" he asked in confusion.

"Seeing if it's gone white," she explained. Then, she relented and grinned. "How's your end of things going? Any luck? I mean good luck, of course."

Wesley shook his head. "Not yet, I'm afraid." He opened a paper sack he'd brought in with him and started removing paper-wrapped objects from it. Seeing Rose's puzzled expression, he handed one of the objects to her. "Lunch," he said. "You've been working practically without let up, Rose. You need to take a break now and then." He unwrapped one of the sandwiches himself, then looked at her expectantly until she followed suit and started eating.

"Have you heard.., anything from.., anyone, recently?" Wesley asked discreetly.

"Not for about a week and a half," she replied. "I don't know what to make of it, but it is different when time doesn't really count for much. I guess they don't remember what it's like to be somewhere where it does."

"You know," he observed. "I always thought that you were a bit, odd, but I'd never have guessed in a million years that you were anything but what you seemed to be. You've fitted yourself in marvelously well."

"I've tried," Rose responded. "And there's only one person who noticed that something wasn't quite.., I don't know, as it should be. And he's the one person that absolutely can't know."

"Spike?" Wes' eyebrows shot up. "He suspects what you are?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly, but ever since we started.., seeing each other, socially, he's had suspicions that I was.., different. I've been putting him off and changing the subject, but if this goes on much longer, I'm afraid he's going to back me into a corner about it one of these days." She sighed. "I really hate having to keep secrets. Especially from Spike."

"No matter what happens, Rose, you've done all that you could," Wesley pointed out. "More than anyone else could. I know that you find it frustrating, but you can't beat yourself up about it if it doesn't work out."

Rose abandoned her half-eaten sandwich. "Unacceptable," she snapped. "I've got to find a way. And one way or another, I will, if it takes till the end of days."

"Nice sentiment, luv, and I'm deeply touched." Rose whirled around to see her beloved standing behind her. For once, she had been so absorbed in her conversation that she hadn't been aware of him there. How much had he heard? "But," Spike went on, "I don't want you banging your pretty head against the wall. If there's nothing to be done, there's nothing to be done." He noted the picnic atmosphere. "Trying to make time with my best girl, Percy?" He gave Wes a dirty look.

"Contrary to whatever it is you may believe, Spike," Wesley said with a long-suffering sigh. "And not to be at all disparaging of the lady's charms, not everyone is as enamored of her as you are."

"Says you." Spike seemed unconvinced. He noticed that Rose had given up on her meal. "If you don't eat up, pet, you're going to end up being as insubstantial as me." Rose gave him a long look without saying anything, but got her point across to him. "Oh hell," he growled. "I know there ain't anything going on." A sheepish look stole over his features. "Sorry, luv, old habits die hard." He saw from her expression that he hadn't gone quite far enough. "No hard feelings, Percy?"

"Only if you stop calling me Percy," Wesley replied.

&&&&&&

Rose was getting frustrated beyond tolerating. The latest book she had been consulting had seemed to be so promising in the beginning, but it hadn't lived up to its promise. A sudden desire to express her irritation took over and she hurled the tome towards the door. Angel had just been entering, and caught it against his chest. "I take it that things are not going well," he observed mildly. "I can understand that you're a little stressed, Rose, but that book is company property."

"I'm sorry, Liam," she apologized. "But I'm just about at the end of my patience." Her voice began to wobble a bit. "It's not fair, he just tried to do the right thing, And more than ever, I keep feeling that he was requited dishonorably." She sniffed and rubbed her eyes.

"I suppose that you've already heard the speech about how you've done your best and can't do any more?" Angel asked.

"More times than I can count," Rose agreed wearily. "And mostly from Spike. It almost seems that he's more accepting of the state of affairs than I am. I can hardly remember the last time when he complained about not being able to do anything."

"Did you ever stop to think it's because of you?" he suggested. "Spike knows how hard you're trying, and he doesn't want to add to your disappointment. Trust me, he's every bit as frustrated as he ever was, I know, I see it. But he's bending over backwards to try to protect your feelings."

"He is?" The stressed lines on her face smoothed away to be replace by an awed expression. "And I've been griping and whining about my lack of success." She buried her face in her hands. "What must Spike think of me?"

"That you love him more than anybody ever has," Angel replied. "That you care enough to take his problems so much to heart. Believe me, that's what Spike sees, what he thinks of you. Spike loves you, Rose, and he's going to keep loving you whether you can help him or not."

"But how could I stand it if I fail him?" she sniffled. She stopped a minute and listened to herself. "I'm just thinking about me again, aren't I?" she remarked ruefully.

"I wouldn't call worrying about letting down someone you love thinking about yourself," he replied. "Come to that, you sound the way Spike did those times when you needed someone to protect you and he couldn't do it." He paused in thought. "Rose, is there any way, any way at all that.., the others will let you stay with Spike? Seeing how devoted to each other the two of you are, I don't see how anyone could be so hard-hearted as to keep you apart."

"I can't." Rose looked down at her hands, twisting and twining around on her lap, fighting a loosing battle against the tears. "And I don't want to go. To go back to not feeling anymore. To just considering things as a whole and not seeing individuals. I just want to be with Spike." The tears started flowing with a vengeance.

Angel stood behind her and laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. He was starting to think that the larger issue wasn't the matter of Spike's corporeality, or lack thereof, but the love between him and Rose. He wished he could speak to The Powers themselves on their behalf.

&&&&&&

Angel stirred restlessly in his sleep. He could hear the voices, but he couldn't wake up.

"Angel." This time instead of trying to fight his way to consciousness, he just let go. And could hear.

"Hello?" Wherever his dreams, mind's eye or whatever had taken him, it was pitch black. If he could hear, shouldn't he be able to see? As if in answer to his thoughts, a light shone down on him, but all was still in darkness around him.

"Where am I?" A silly question, really. Where could he be but inside his own head?

Then, he saw the colors.

Sienna: "It would mean nothing to you, Angelus." A pause. "Or would you prefer Angel?"

Angel: "Angel, please. Who are you?"

Citrine: "Haven't you guessed? After spending so much time with our other part?"

Angel: "You're The Powers That Be. Shouldn't you be speaking to Rose?"

Violet: "At present, we wish to speak to you." A pause. "About Rose."

Angel: "I'll do what I can to help Rose."

Cerulean: "Is she really in love with the specter? Do you know?"

Angel: "They're very much in love with each other."

Viridian: "Is the attachment such that it will cause them pain to be parted?"

Angel: "What kind of stupid question is that?" He was irritated enough to forget to whom he was speaking. "Of course it will. It's already hurting Rose because she knows she's going to have to leave."

Citrine: "You speak with much vehemence, vampire. What are your feelings about Rose?"

Angel: "She's made a place for herself. Spike may be the one who loves her, but everyone that has come to know her cares for her."

Violet: "Rose is doing a credible job as a human, then?"

Angel: "Look, maybe you could tell me what exactly it is that you want, instead of dancing around the edges."

Sienna: "We are worried that Rose has created too much of a place for herself amongst you. It disrupts the balance."

Angel: "I don't understand. Why should the fact that Rose fits in be a problem?"

Viridian: "Not because Rose fits in, Angel. Because Rose has made contact, touched hearts. In other terms, a vacuum will be left when Rose is gone."

Angel: "I will admit that there will be a.., gap when Rose is gone. But all of us have had to move on, leave loved ones behind. We'll adapt." He thought a moment. "Except maybe for Spike. She's become his whole reason for existence. Such existence as he has."

Cerulean: "The attachment has gone deep then. This is Rose's first time among you. We did not expect such a thorough adaptation. What sort of activities does our other part engage in when not in your employ?"

Angel: "At the moment, the same thing as when she is working. She and her department head are trying to find a way to help Spike. I don't know if it's that she fears an adverse judgment or that she's just impatient, but she's been working on it almost since she arrived."

Citrine: "We thank you for the information, Angel. But now we must confer amongst ourselves."

Angel: "Wait, why are you excluding Rose from your discussions? Shouldn't she be here?" He sat up in bed. They had sent him back before hearing him out, apparently. He looked at the time. Four a.m. Too early to call anyone and talk to them. He decided that first thing, he'd talk to Wesley. Maybe Wes could help him put some perspective on it and help him come to a decision about whether or not to tell Rose. Although, the more he thought about it, the more it seemed to him that the fact that the rest of The Powers had consulted him behind her back would alarm her. He gave his pillow a vicious punch and laid back down, but sleep was a long time returning.

&&&&&&

Rose was starting to get that look about her again, Spike was learning to spot it. She was going into a blue funk because her research was going nowhere. There were other signs too. She didn't speak as much, and smiled hardly at all. He fought an inner battle with himself, trying to decide whether or not it would be better to get her to talk it out or just let her work it out on her own. Given her track record so far, he figured that leaving her to her own devices hadn't been too effective. He effected the change to the nightwear he'd started appearing in of late, since she was making her own preparations for bed. He lounged on the bed waiting for her.

Rose emerged from the bathroom looking wan and delicate, and the black nightgown just accentuated it. Spike realized with a bit of shock that he was noticing things like that as much if not more than how much the togs accentuated her figure. He'd also noticed that she had expended a great deal of effort to avoid looking him in the eye this evening, and had a good idea why. He was sure of it when she climbed into bed and lay on her side with her back to him.

"You've been crying again, haven't you precious?" Since he didn't have a body, how could he be feeling the gut-twisting sensation that always overtook him when he knew she was hurting?

"What makes you think that, love?" she murmured evasively. She still hadn't turned to face him, even though they usually lay face to face talking for a while before she turned off the lights.

Spike wished that he had more than words to comfort her with. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, to take her worries and troubles on himself so that she didn't have to suffer. "Aren't you at least going to look at me, babe?" he asked. "Let me see your pretty face? It's been getting so that I look forward to this time of the day with you more than anything, luv."

Rose rolled over to face him, but kept her eyes downcast. Not that that made any difference, he could see that they were red and swollen, and he was mentally kicking himself for not catching on to it earlier. "I'm sorry," she barely whispered. "I guess I'm not very good company tonight."

"Haven't you heard that Spike's a self-centered bastard that thinks only of himself?" he inquired. "Wouldn't be wasting my time if I didn't enjoy the company."

"You're not," she protested. Her head came up and she looked into his eyes, then realized just why he had said what he did. Because he knew that was how she would respond. Rose summoned up a faint shadow of a smile. "You're cheating again."

"Only with your best interests at heart, pet," he murmured. "I just wish you wouldn't waste your tears over me. I'm not worth it."

"I beg to differ," she responded. "I don't consider anything I do for you to be wasted. But I didn't want to upset you, either."

"Let's make a little deal, shall we?" Spike suggested. "We'll do what we can when we can to remedy the situation, and the rest of the time, we won't worry about it. It's not really so bad, is it? What we have?"

"It's wonderful." This time the smile was a ray of sunshine straight into his soul.

"Do we have a deal, then?" he pressed on. "Don't worry about what we can't fix and just love each other. Deal?"

"Whatever you want," she agreed. She snuggled down into the pillows with a look of contentment and was asleep without remembering to turn off the light.


	22. Crash Test

118

Cerulean: "Think you that we should interview the specter? Compel him to make a choice?"

Violet: "We know from what we read in Rose's mind, that he has already made a choice, of sorts. Did he not say that he would rather remain as he was than to be without her?"

Sienna: "But it pains Rose to see him as he is and not be able to do anything. The last contact was unpleasant in the extreme. The welter of emotions spilled over and made the reading difficult."

Citrine: "Angelus expressed himself with much passion on the subject. He knows what Rose is, and yet he insists on acting the protector."

Viridian: "The empath demon tended to the body's needs when it was ailing. He even volunteered to do so, without recompense."

Sienna: "More thought needs to go into the judgment yet. Are we agreed?"

Violet: "We are."

&&&&&&&&

Angel stumbled along the dark streets in a half-daze. Being a vampire didn't make him entirely indestructible, and he'd just taken a serious wallop to the head. Well, actually he had fallen out of a second story window on it. The one small consolation in the whole concern was that the demon that he had been fighting had made the same trip and hadn't survived it. But his brain felt dislocated. He couldn't even remember where his car was, or indeed, if he had even been in one. His head throbbed, and a sluggish trickle of congealing blood oozed from the scalp wound down his forehead. He looked around and blinked, trying to get his bearings. Something about the neighborhood looked familiar. He swiveled his head around again, and winced at the pain. That building, there. Something about it called to him. He was pretty sure that it wasn't home, but there was something about it that was beckoning to him. He went inside, leaning on the walls for support. Up, he was pretty sure that he wanted to go up. One, two, three long flights of stairs. His knees nearly gave out when he finally fought his way to the top, but he forced himself to go on. Doors, all the doors looked the same. He tried counting down the hall, but kept losing his place. Damn, his head hurt. He tried one at random, pounding on it with all his might, he thought, though his efforts produced a feeble thump thump. He leaned against the doorframe, hoping there was someone here to help him. He didn't have enough left in him to try another door.

&&&&&&&

Spike and Rose were engaged in their ritual nightly pillow talk, although the label was slightly misleading unless interpreted literally. Spike had just told her a naughty joke, and was laughing at the blush it produced, once Rose had finally gotten it. He was gearing up for another one when there was a weak tapping at the door. He got up. "If it's some drunk so plastered he can't even find his own door, I'll bloody well scare him sober." Rose got up and padded along after him. Spike stuck his head out of the closed door for a look around. He pulled it back in abruptly. "Sodding hell, luv. Open the door, quick."

Rose obeyed without hesitation, and saw a battered, bloody Angel. He tried to look at her, but his eyes weren't focusing properly. "Oh my heavens," she gasped. "What on earth happened to you?" Angel blinked, trying to decide which one of her to answer. She looked at Spike. "He doesn't have to be invited in again periodically, does he?"

Spike shook his head. "No, pet, it doesn't work that way. Once invited, always invited. Looks like something or someone's rung his chimes good and proper." He gave her slender frame an assessing look, then measured it up to Angel's bulk. "I hope the silly sod can keep to his feet," he observed. "If he hits the floor you'll never be able to shift him, babe. But you'd better get him in here fast, or gravity is going to beat you to the punch."

Rose wriggled her way under Angel's arm and wrapped hers around his waist. "Angel, I don't know if you can hear me, or understand me, but I'm going to try to get you into the bedroom. Can you try to help me?"

Angel replied by releasing his death-grip on the doorpost and falling against her, nearly knocking her off her feet. "Ooof," Rose grunted. "He's terribly heavy. Come along now, Angel, try to walk for me." Angel obediently started a flat-footed shuffle, as Rose staggered under his weight. Spike watched the whole scene, going from being worried to being pissed as hell at not being able to do his bit and spare Rose the effort.

Miraculously, Rose actually managed to get Angel into bed. She would have liked to just stand and catch her breath for a moment, but the urgency of the situation demanded that she keep moving. She picked up her phone. "Wesley? It's Rose. Yes, I know it's late, but Angel's here, he's hurt, and..," She hung up. "He didn't let me finish," she said.

"It probably means that he was half-way out the door before you realized he'd hung up on you," Spike comforted her. "You might want to consider cleaning up that wound before he bleeds all over your bed, pet." He gave Angel a visual once over. "Whatever happened, he took a hell of a shot to the head. Gotta be what saved him, seeing as there's so little there to damage." He looked at Rose's serious face. "It's just a harmless joke, pet. He's a vampire. It would take a lot more than this to put him out of commission permanently."

Rose started washing the lacerations in Angel's scalp, growing whiter herself by the minute. "Steady on, babe. It's just a little blood. Nothing to get all wobbly in the knees about." Spike paced around, wondering how long it would take the bloody Watcher to get here.

"There's an awful lot of blood here," she remarked weakly. "His hair is absolutely stiff with it." She was setting new records in just how pale a person could get, and it was starting to alarm her spectral sweetie.

"Are you sure it's blood or just hair gel?" Spike quipped. "Are you going to be able to hold it together till the Watcher gets here, luv? 'Cause if you can't, best you back off now before you pass out."

"I'll be all right," Rose murmured. "It's just that it's worse when it's someone you know, I guess." She finished the job, and gently stroked Angel's cheek, provoking a pang of jealousy in Spike. It occurred to him that he'd be more than happy to suffer the kind of damage that Angel had taken if only Rose could touch him.

There was a quick knock at the door, which didn't sound quite right, followed shortly by Wesley's appearance. "You left your door open," he scolded gently.

"Well, she was all done in after dragging the pouf in here, wasn't she?" Spike muttered. "Can't expect her to think of everything."

Wesley ignored him. "Has he said anything at all, Rose?"

She shook her head. "He seemed to understand what I was saying, though. Is he going to be all right, Wesley?"

"Don't worry about Angel," he assured her. "It would take a lot more than this to take out a vampire."

"That's what I've been telling her," Spike said. "Will you believe me now, luv? Wonder what it was that managed to give him such a crack to the cranium, though."

"Fell," Angel muttered, opening his eyes with great effort. "Second story window." The small effort seemed almost to exhaust him.

Wesley sat on the edge of the bed. "Angel, is there anything you need?" He gave a short humorless laugh. "They didn't exactly teach us how to nurse a vampire back to health in watcher's school."

"Blood," he answered weakly. "Need it for healing. For replacing what was lost." His eyes started to focus. "Rose? What are you doing here?"

"It's her apartment you nit," Spike informed him. Angel's eyes swiveled to look at him with a nearly audible creak. They widened when they saw what the spirit was, or perhaps what he wasn't, wearing. "Did I interrupt something?"

Wesley stood up, an amused expression on his face. "I'll go and get that blood. You stay put." He turned to Rose. "He probably ought to stay where he is for the night. Do you mind, Rose?"

"I don't mind," Rose said softly. "He gave me a place to stay when I needed it. It's the least I can do." Wesley left on his quest.

"Very sweet, babe," Spike said. "But where in hell are you going to sleep tonight? That sofa has lumps in it bigger than you are." He at least had realized that if the pouf had the bed, there was nowhere he could spend the night with Rose, and he didn't bloody like it.

Rose had been concentrating on the fallen Angel so much that she had scarcely noticed Spike, until now. "It's just for one night, love," she murmured, rising to stand in front of him. "Don't we owe him that much?" The look she gave him would have melted an iceberg. Spike capitulated on the spot.

"Got me wrapped 'round your little finger, you do," he grumbled, but without feeling. "You're calling the tune on this one, pet." He gave Angel a disparaging look. "You better be back on your feet by tomorrow night, ponce."

Angel gave him a weak grin. "Thought I'd be a pain in your ass for a change." He took another look at Rose. "You've got better taste than I thought, clothes and women." He closed his eyes again.

Rose checked the gash on Angel's head. "The bleeding seems to have stopped," she remarked with relief.

Spike shrugged. "Vampires heal fast, sweetheart. He'll be up and out in no time." He paused, briefly. "The sooner the better, for all of me."

"I'll try not to inconvenience you too much," Angel muttered without opening his eyes.

"Too late for that," Spike remarked. "Next time you fall on your head, would you mind doing it in another part of town?'

&&&&&&&

Rose took the next day off work, with Wesley's blessing, to keep an eye on Angel. Both of them ignored the protests of the two vampires, solid and insubstantial. Besides, as Wes had pointed out, all Rose really needed were a couple of reference books, and she could continue her research at home and still be there if Angel needed her.

Rose had dragged a chair into the bedroom to keep Angel company, and Spike sat at the foot of the bed. Sometimes giving Rose surprisingly helpful comments, though Angel guessed he shouldn't have been startled. Spike had still retained many of his bookish qualities, even if he had kept the fact well hidden. Occasionally, he felt moved to heckle Angel, though his grandsire suspected that it was for form's sake as much as anything.

About halfway through the long day, Rose suddenly looked up from her book, something just having occurred to her. "Angel, I can understand you giving me those access codes for my research, but how can you justify paying both me and my department head for research that could only be termed personal?" Her brow was creased in thought.

Angel shrugged. "I'm not exactly what you could call a typical executive," he remarked. "As far as Wolfram and Hart is concerned, I mostly do what I think is best and worry about what the senior partners will think when I have my nose rubbed in it. Which is more often than I'd care for."

"Poor little you," Spike said, without a trace of sympathy. "Don't try to tell me you aren't enjoying having everyone at your beck and call. King of all you survey."

"Too much responsibility," Angel argued. "I thought I had enough already. Now it just seems that they keep on piling more and more on me."

"My heart freakin' bleeds," Spike said sarcastically. Suddenly, his features smoothed out and became tranquil, and lost some of the hard edges. "Reckon I ought to thank you, though, seeing as how you're paying two people to try to get me put back together again."

Angel's eyes bugged out a little. A grateful Spike? He'd shake his head, but it still hurt to do so. "Wait till you get the bill," he muttered, suddenly ill at ease. A smart-ass Spike he could handle. But he wasn't sure he knew how to deal with this.

Rose had mostly been ignoring them, and had gone back to her reading, but she had heard that remark. "You're not serious, are you, Angel?" She looked a little alarmed.

The vampire summoned up a smile. "Just joking," he assured her. "Besides, you can't get blood from a stone, and I've never known Spike to be gainfully employed."

"'Spose it's something I'll have to think about, though," Spike mused. "Since I sincerely doubt that you'll let me sponge off you forever. Got to have some way to pay for pretty trinkets for the lady." He favored Rose with a loving look, eliciting a smile that was just for him. He mouthed the words I love you, at her, and she did likewise.

Angel turned his head away, feeling even more of an interloper than he had when he'd taken the two of them on dates. "Do you mind?" he asked. "The atmosphere's getting a little cloying in here for those of us who are trying to recuperate."

Spike smirked at him. "Just giving you a bit of incentive to get your nancy-boy ass up and about, mate. Don't want you getting too addicted to the scenery here." He fixed his gaze on Rose, in case there was any doubt as to what his referral was in regards to.

"I'd be more than happy to leave now," Angel mumbled. "I did make the offer, if you'll recall."

"You're not going anywhere until Wesley comes and picks you up this evening," Rose said sweetly. "In the meantime, you'll stay put." She looked over at Angel, arching an eyebrow.

Angel looked at Spike. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think she was enjoying this."

Spike laughed. "You could be right. Since it usually seems to be one or the other of us insisting on tucking her up into bed. I guess she's getting a bit of revenge now." A thought occurred to him. "Heaven help me if I'm ever on the sick list. She'll never let me out of bed."

"Like you wouldn't be loving every minute of it," Angel remarked with a smile. Then it hit him. "You've been talking like you expect to be made corporeal again. What made you decide that there was hope after all?"

"Her." Spike cocked his head towards his lady-love. "She's just stubborn enough that if she can't find a way, she'll bloody well make one up." A sappy and very un-Spike-like grin crossed his face. "Still don't understand why the silly little wench puts up with me."

"If you're asking me," Angel observed. "You've come to the wrong place. I don't know why anyone would put up with you."

Still grinning, Spike cheerfully flipped him off.


	23. All Work and No Play

126

"We need to plan another night out with Rose," Spike announced.

Angel's eyebrows shot up. "We? When did I get taken into the decision making process? As I recall, you make all the plans and just tell me where to go."

"I always tell you where to go, but you never take the flippin' hint." Spike threw himself into a chair with a little too much force and a little too little concentration, and went right on through it. "Bugger," he muttered, getting up and sitting down with a bit more care.

"Listen," Spike went on. "I'm dead serious about this. The last couple of weeks, all she's done is that bloody research, either here or at home. Some nights she's so deep into it that I can't even get her to talk to me, except for the few minutes we have at the end of the night before she turns in. She's getting obsessive, and I'm getting worried."

"Okay, I'll grant you that she needs to get out," Angel conceded. "But I still don't know where this 'we' stuff is coming from. As I recall, I'm just a necessary evil on these outings."

Spike cocked his head thoughtfully. "I want to do something really different. Like, maybe, oh I don't know, a concert, opera, ballet, something like that."

Angel was stunned. "You'll be bored to tears," he predicted. "Besides, I don't think your current attire would pass muster at one of those events."

Spike grinned, waved his hand theatrically and was suddenly in white tie and tails. He stood up and spun around for effect. "That's the easy part." In the blink of an eye he was back to Spike as usual.

"So that's how you were wearing.., what you weren't wearing that night I took that fall." It was Angel's turn to look thoughtful. "Doesn't that just make things harder?"

"Nothing there to get that way at present," Spike quipped. Then, he got serious again. "Sometimes it does. Sometimes I'd give the earth just to be able to hold her."

This was getting too personal for Angel to be comfortable with, even though he had opened the subject. He therefore decided to change it. "As it so happens, there's a concert Friday night," he mentioned. "Just mixed pieces, a little something from all the great composers. Will that fill the bill?"

"Sounds like it," Spike agreed. "'Course, you know what else this means, don't you?"

Angel didn't, but he didn't much care for the gleam in Spike's eye. "What is it going to cost me? Pride? Or money?"

"Money," Spike replied. "Rose hasn't got anything suitable for the occasion. And a shopping trip would do her some good. Get her out and about a bit."

Angel sighed. "On one condition."

Spike eyed him suspiciously. "And what would that be?"

"Stay away from the 'basic little black'," he elaborated. "It makes her look too pale. Unless, of course you can talk her into getting some sun between now and then."

Spike was gazing off into the distance, imagining what sort of evening gown would best suit his beloved. "Not black," he agreed distractedly. He came back. "Of course, even if she wore a flour sack she'd have us outclassed."

"You, me and everyone else there," Angel remarked. "Well? Aren't you going to go popping down to her office and ask her?"

"I can't." Spike looked disgusted. "Bloody watcher warded the place so I couldn't get in. He's been about as much fun as the plague lately too."

"Didn't Rose object to the wards?" Angel couldn't believe that she would just sit still for Wes deliberately shutting Spike out.

"Rose doesn't know about them," Spike explained. "He did it the other day while he had her off running some fool's errand or another for him."

Angel picked up his phone. "Harmony? Will you call Rose down in research and have her come to my office, please? Thank you." He hung up. "Will that do?"

&&&&&&

"Wes, can I have a word with you?" Angel had slipped out of his office as soon as he'd sent for Rose. What Spike had told him about the ex-Watcher's activities bothered him for some reason.

"Certainly, Angel, what did you want?" Wesley reluctantly dragged his nose out of a book.

"Why did you ward Rose's office so that Spike couldn't get in?" Angel asked bluntly. "Especially behind her back like that. Spike is the reason that she's here, after all."

"And he's been driving her to distraction," Wesley remarked. "Every time I went into her office, there he was."

"Did Rose complain about it?" Angel inquired. "Or is this just something you took upon yourself?"

"Do you have a problem with the way I run my department?" he asked a little belligerently. "I'm just trying to create a productive atmosphere where work can be done. Spike was a disruption."

Angel was beginning to see Spike's point about Wesley. "What kind of hours have you been putting in lately, Wes? You're not usually like this."

Wesley ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. A lot, I guess." He looked a little sheepish. "Made an ass of myself, have I?"

"A bit." Angel felt a wave of relief wash over him. So much depended on the research department, he needed them to be sharp. "Take down the wards, please. Then take the rest of the day off and get some rest. You're not going to be doing anyone any good if you wear yourself into the ground."

"Rose has been working just as hard," Wesley pointed out. "I thought you'd be worrying about her, too."

"I generally leave worrying about Rose to Spike," Angel replied. "Besides, that is being taken care of even as we speak. In fact, I've been so absorbed in the details, that I wouldn't have known what was going on if Spike hadn't mentioned it." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, Spike may even have thought you had some justification in putting up those wards. He didn't mention them until I asked why he didn't go tell Rose that we were going to take her out."

"I'm sorry I did it at all, now," Wes remarked a bit ruefully. "I'm really not thinking straight, am I?"

"It's called all work and no play," Angel observed. "And it's going to stop, isn't it, Wes?"

"I'll be good," he promised.

&&&&&&

"Hullo, luv." Spike greeted his lady.

"Spike? What are you doing here?" Rose asked. "I was told that Angel wanted to see me."

Spike gestured for her to sit down. "No, pet. Unless the message got garbled, you were told to come to Angel's office. Basking in the warm glow of the big pouf's company was not explicitly stated."

Rose grinned at the allusion. "Well, if Angel doesn't want to see me, then why am I here?"

"Well, I know how full your social calendar's been of late," Spike teased. "I wanted to make sure you keep Friday night open for me."

"I thought you didn't want to go on any more dates," Rose remarked. "What changed your mind?"

"You," Spike said simply. "You've been working yourself too hard, precious. And while I appreciate the dedication on my behalf, I don't want you putting yourself in an early grave on my account."

"I haven't been paying much attention to you lately, have I?" Rose asked quietly. "I've been so absorbed in trying to make you corporeal again that I've been ignoring you. I'm sorry, Spike."

"Have I been complaining?" Spike asked.

"You should have been," Rose replied. "If you had been as distant to me as I've been to you lately, I'd think you were mad at me." She got an impish look on her face, and in a passable imitation of Spike's accent said, "Don't know why you put up with me, luv."

Spike laughed. "That's my girl. And it's not hard to put up with you, pet, 'cause I love you."

"Am I allowed to know where we're going Friday night?" she asked.

"Somewhere that's going to involve another shopping trip," he answered with a grin.

Rose rolled her eyes, then giggled.

&&&&&&

Spike surprised Angel by not only not disrupting the concert, but by actually seeming to pay attention and enjoy the music. Rose was held rapt by the music, and Angel found almost as much enjoyment in watching her reactions as Spike did.

Rose kept stealing glances at Spike. She couldn't believe how handsome he looked. Not that he didn't always, but she was slowly starting to appreciate that there was a lot more to him than met the eye. And that was entirely by Spike's design. She sighed contentedly, but the content received a slight check when she remembered that things couldn't go on like this forever. Indeed, probably not for much longer at all. She recalled her deal with Spike and tried to put the unhappy thought out of her mind, but it persisted, and it took some of the shine off the evening for her.

Spike saw her features cloud over, and leaned to whisper in her ear. "Stop that, pet. Only happy thoughts."

Rose turned to smile at him. "You're my happy thought," she said softly.

"Then think about me." Smirk.

&&&&&&&

"Did you have a good time tonight, pet?" Spike asked, as Rose emerged from the bathroom in her nightgown.

"I had a lovely time," she replied. "You looked very nice, Spike. Why don't you let people see you like that more often?"

"Like what?" He deliberately misunderstood her. "Togged out like a pouf?" He smiled at her. "I do have a reputation to uphold, luv. People expect Spike to be the Big Bad."

"Is that what you want to be, though?" she asked. "You could be anything, Spike. So why do you insist on playing the bad boy when that's not really what you are?"

"Then what am I?" Spike was more than a little interested in hearing what her answer would be.

"You're kind, generous, intelligent and loving," Rose responded. "Or am I the only one you show that to?"

"Mostly," Spike smiled at her. "You bring out all the best in me, precious. Besides," he went on. "The persona does have its uses. Saves me no end of getting my ass kicked."

Rose settled down under the covers, to be joined in the bed by Spike. "Don't get me wrong, Spike, I would love you no matter what. I just think that you're wasting yourself."

"If it was anyone else saying that I'd say that it's mine to waste," he remarked. "But for you, pet. Well, I'll think about it."

&&&&&&&

"Rose."

Rose: "It's about time. I was starting to think that you'd forgotten about me. Are we ready to make a decision?"

Citrine: "The decision has already been made. We didn't need you here for it. We know your feelings on the subject."

Violet: "We have been impressed by the depth of emotions that surround the subject. And you."

Viridian: "The weight of the evidence seems to agree with your original assessment."

Sienna: "The judgment is favorable."

Cerulean: "Given the special circumstances, though, the regeneration will take some time. We will instruct you."

Rose: "Just tell me what to do."

&&&&&&&

Rose woke with tears on her face. She felt torn in half. She was happy that Spike was finally going to get his body back, definitely happy. It was what he deserved, what she'd worked so hard for. But when it was over, it was going to feel more like loosing a piece of herself then leaving the rest of The Powers had. He wasn't just entwined around her heart, but her soul as well. She looked over at him without stirring, just drinking in the sight that would all too soon be denied her. Then, she realized that now she had at least some of her powers back, she could have all in readiness without disturbing him. Once she had everything prepared, then she would hand it to him, wrapped with a big bow, metaphorically speaking.

She placed a small area of stasis around Spike, then climbed out of bed, knowing that he wouldn't notice it now. She went in the other room and picked up the phone. "Angel? Sorry to bother you, but I'd like to ask you a favor. Yes, it's about Spike, the judgment was for him. But I'm going to need a few things. Oh, he can't hear me right now, I've taken care of it. I want to surprise him."

&&&&&&&

Angel reflected that one of the good things about being in a big city, was that no matter what you needed, no matter the hour, day or night, you could usually find a place open where you could get it. He ran his errands as quickly as possible, then went to Rose's apartment.

&&&&&&

Angel had scarcely tapped on the door than Rose opened it.

"Thank you, Angel," she said, relieving him of his packages. "This means more to me than you could possibly know. And I hope that I'm not out of line if I ask you to do one more thing for me."

"You ought to know by now that all you have to do is ask, Rose," Angel replied. "We're all going to miss you, though."

"And I will miss you, and.., everyone," she answered. "But it has to be this way. Could you tell everyone at the office good-bye for me? And give them my love?"

"Of course," he said softly. "Good-bye, Rose." He gave her a quick, awkward hug and then left.


	24. One Last Kiss

129

Rose sighed. As far as she could tell, all the preparations had been made. So why was she delaying? But she knew, of course she knew. Her parting with Angel had been hard enough, but saying good-bye to Spike..,

She went in and sat on the bed, and spent several minutes, just looking at him, engraving again on her memory every little detail about his appearance. But of course, that was all it was, appearance, not the true Spike. The animated Spike, laughing, swearing, angry, loving, smart-assed Spike. That was who he really was. She removed the stasis. "Wake up, love," she said softly, carefully crafting a cheerful smile for him.

His eyes shot open. "How'd you move around without me noticing, pet?" He sat up and gave her a quizzical look.

Rose sat cross-legged, facing him, and gestured for him to do the same. "This may take a bit of explaining," she said slowly. "But please, please promise that you'll hear me out."

Spike still looked confused. "Of course I will, luv. Wish you didn't think you had to ask."

"Normally, if there ever was a normal, I wouldn't have," Rose replied. "But this is very important. Too important to take chances with."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Are you going to get around to it sometime today then?"

"Did you know that ever since you.., sacrificed yourself at the Hellmouth, The Powers That Be have been debating over you?" Of course, she knew he didn't, but it was a place to start.

"Over me?" His whole face was a question mark. Then, a hint of suspicion set in. "And just how did you manage to come across this bit of information, precious?"

"I think you've already worked that one out, haven't you?" she replied, looking down. "It's because I'm one of them. I was sent here to gather more information about you, about whether or not..,"

"I deserved an eternity of torment?" Spike suggested. "I said you'd argue with The Powers themselves for me, didn't I? Didn't know how on the mark I was. Or when I said you were something more than human." His gaze grew soft and loving, a little awed that one of 'them' cared that much about what happened to him. "So, what's the verdict?"

"We won." She smiled at him. "I get to give you your life back, Spike." When he didn't light up at the revelation, her face fell. "What's wrong? Why aren't you happy? Isn't this what you wanted all along?"

"I'm just a job to you, ain't I?" he asked. When she'd said she could give him his life back it occurred to him that one of The Powers couldn't possibly be in love with him. "Why the hell did you feel that you had to string me along like that? Part of your research?" His tones got louder and angrier. "Dammit, I really love you. How do you see me? A lab rat?"

"No, Spike, no, never," Rose protested. "I was sent here for the sole purpose of gathering information, true. I've never been here before, lived in a human body, lived like a human being. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. It just.., happened."

His face split into a grin. "That's all that really matters then, isn't it? I'm sorry I got so rude, pet. I was just afraid that you didn't love me as much as I love you. And that means more to me than getting my body back."

"I told you I'd never been in love before," she pointed out. "But that doesn't mean that I couldn't. And I do love you, Spike. So very much."

Spike blew her a kiss. "Is there anything else I need to know before we get started? Because all of a sudden, I just really can't wait till I can kiss you properly."

Rose noticed that he had ignored the fact that as a Power she'd have to leave. But she decided to leave it until later. "The whole process will take about twenty-four hours to complete," she said. "But long before that, you ought to start feeling things, be able to do things. Probably, I think, after about the first hour."

"Why so long?" he inquired. "Thought you'd just be able to wave your hand and hey presto! Spike's back."

"I'd have thought so too," Rose admitted. "But the others have been keeping things from me since I've been here. They elected to do it this way, and I was just so happy to be able to bring you back that I didn't much care how it happened."

"What do we do then?" Spike asked.

Rose held out her hands, palms up. "Just lay your hands on mine, Spike," she directed. "I know you can't feel it, but make it as close as you can. If there's a little overlap it will correct itself as you.., solidify."

Spike obediently did as he was told, and felt a tingle of energy immediately. "So," he said conversationally. "What's the catch? There always is one."

"We have to stay in physical contact with each other for the entire time." Rose smiled, thinking it was no hardship at all, considering how frustrated they'd both been being denied contact. "If we should lose contact, even for a moment, it all goes for nothing. And no second chances."

"I think I could go twenty-four hours touching you, luv," Spike said softly. "Or even longer."

&&&&&&&

That first hour dragged by slowly, but at its end, Rose could start to feel Spike's hands laying on hers. "It's starting to happen, Spike," she said excitedly.

"I know," he replied. One of his hands slid under hers, nudged it upwards, and he bent his head to kiss her palm.

A tingle ran up the length of Rose's arm, starting where his lips had touched her, eliciting a small, surprised gasp.

"Is there any sort of rule that says just what sort of contact is allowed, pet?" Spike inquired. "'Cause I'm thinking there are a lot of ways to be in physical contact with someone."

"Just.., just as long as we're touching," she stammered, feeling an unexpected attack of nerves.

"Good." Spike slid his hands up her bare arms up to her shoulders. With what little effort he could muster, he coaxed her wordlessly to lean towards him. He brought his lips down on hers, feeling them, tasting them, teasing them open to admit his tongue.

Rose's eyes closed of their own volition. She was entirely focused on just experiencing the delicious sensations his kiss elicited. She almost cried out in disappointment when he pulled away from her.

Spike saw the look on her face. "Didn't you like it, precious girl?" he teased gently.

"I didn't want it to stop," she whispered, blushing. "I had no idea..," Her voice trailed away as she found herself unable to adequately express what she was feeling.

Making sure to stay in contact with her, he brought one hand back down the length of her arm, delighting all the while in the soft, satiny skin he could now feel, until he could twine his fingers through hers. "Why don't you shift around this way a bit, luv?" he suggested. "When I have to lean towards you like that, I can't hold you. And I want to hold you."

Rose complied so eagerly that she bumped heads with him.

"Ow. Take it easy, babe. I'm not going anywhere." Spike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, feeling more real by the minute. "You feel good, pet." He inhaled the scent of her. "Smell good too. Is that the perfume I gave you?"

"Yes." Rose snuggled against him. And she'd thought the sensations she'd experienced when she first became human had been overwhelming. She traced a shy finger over his collar bone. "Curious things," she murmured. "So graceful and delicate, and yet so much depends upon them."

Spike suppressed a pleased groan and buried his face in her neck. Nuzzling, kissing and.., pulling away just in time before he bit into it. "What the hell?" He couldn't recall the last time he'd lost control and vamped out while.., necking? He felt more than a little embarrassed, but he couldn't get his features to go back to normal.

"It's all right, Spike," Rose assured him. "I was told that you'd be hungry, and I made provisions for it." She reached up and gently stroked his face, showing no fear or revulsion at his current appearance. She carefully got out of the bed, clutching his hand all the while. He tagged along with her to the kitchen, where she gestured to a thermos sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.

"How do you want to work this, Rose?" he asked. He wasn't at all sure that he wanted her to see him drinking blood, even though he was well aware that she knew that was what vampires did.

"How about like this?" Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, she slipped around behind him, arms wrapped around his waist, face pressed against his bare shoulder.

Spike ignored the bitsy little thermos cup and just tipped the whole thing up and guzzled it down. Normally, he'd have taken a little more enjoyment out of it, but right now, he wanted to concentrate on Rose. Once the thermos was empty, then, he picked up the cup and ran it full of water, took a mouthful and sloshed it around in his mouth before swallowing. He didn't want to be kissing her with blood on his breath.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"You tell me, luv," he answered, turning around without breaking her hold on him. "How do I feel?"

"Absolutely amazing," she mumbled into his shoulder. She could almost feel the burst of vitality the blood had given him.

"Rose?" he said softly. "Look at me, luv." He could say that, now. Now that the hunger had been abated, and he had his features under control again. When she turned her face up to him, he kissed her again, running his hands over her, savoring the feel of her. He began to feel the inevitable physical reaction to such activities. He pressed her close to him so that she could feel it too. "Let me take you to bed, babe," he murmured. "Let me make love to you."

"Yes, please," she replied, running her hands up his chest to twine around his neck.

He tried to pick her up, and surprised himself by actually being able to do it, and carried her back into the bedroom.

&&&&&&

Rose lay cuddled close to Spike, basking in the aftermath of their lovemaking. "Is it always like this?" she queried softly. "I know I didn't know what I was doing..,"

"Hush, pet." He traced the outline of her lips with his finger. "It's different with different people. It's never been like this before, and never will be again." He laughed softly. "I don't know if I could handle it getting any better," he confessed. "It would probably kill me before we got me all back together."

She looked at him in alarm, then realized he was joking. "I just didn't want to disappoint you," she said.

Spike hugged her closer. "You couldn't do that, luv. Not ever." He could feel her hands begin an exploratory journey over his body. "Trying to tell me something, precious?"

She blushed. "I.., I was just wondering if.., Could we do it again?"

&&&&&&&

They spent the whole time of Spike's regeneration in each other's arms. Sometimes making love, but in between, just holding each other and enjoying the closeness. Time sped past at break neck speed. As dawn neared, Rose could begin to feel that the transformation was nearly complete.

Spike was lazily nibbling on an earlobe. "What do you think, luv? You up for another go at it?"

"I don't think we can," Rose whispered. "I think it's almost finished, love."

"And why should that be a problem?" he murmured into her ear. He sighed. "Don't think I could ever get tired of this."

"Spike." At the alarmed and unhappy tones in her voice, he looked up and really took notice.

"What's wrong, babe?" He had a sudden sinking, twisting sensation in his stomach.

"Kiss me please, hurry." Her voice suggested a certain urgency, and since he was more than willing, he complied, pouring all his love and passion into it.

"It's over," Rose said. Her voice sounded a little.., thin. Come to that, something about her didn't look right, either, and he realized in shock and horror that she was becoming transparent.

"What's happening, luv?" He found that he was hugging himself now, as his arms passed right through her.

"I have to go back, beloved." There may not have been any tears on her face, she was probably beyond being able to cry now, but they were evident in her voice.

"No!" Pain and frustration echoed through the tiny apartment as Spike found that he was alone. Again.

&&&&&&&

Spike was trapped in the apartment by the daylight, and he kicked around morosely. He wondered what he was supposed to do when night fell, as the pajama pants he had been wearing had disappeared. When he made his way into the living room he saw the shopping bags, and curiosity got the better of him. And it was all there. Shirt, shoes, pants, even a new duster. He took the clothes in and set them on the bed. Better shower first, after all the activity. No, don't think about that, don't think about how bloody marvelous it had been just to touch her, to hold her, to kiss.., damn. He bathed automatically, and just distanced himself from himself. It did occur to him in a detached fashion that he was washing her scent off him, and reality struck just enough to produce a brief pang of regret. Bathed and dressed, he paced around the place until the sun set. He was just about to go out the door, taking one last look around where he had spent so many happy hours when his gaze fell on Angel's picture. He took it off the wall and tucked it under his arm and walked out, for the last time. He never wanted to see the place again. Without Rose it was dead.

&&&&&&&

Angel had just put his feet up, trying to relax after a long and trying day. And an emotional one as well. Delivering Rose's farewells had almost been as bad as saying good-bye to her himself had been. Fred had burst into tears. Lorne had sniffed and dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief. Wesley had stood there looking like he'd been poleaxed, then turned and left. Only Gunn had been relatively unaffected, because he had seldom had any contact with Rose.

Someone started hammering on his door. Angel swung his feet down and got up, angry at the intrusion. He flung the door wide open intending to give whoever it was hell for bothering him. Then, he saw, Spike. Standing there, looking utterly bereft with his drawing tucked under his arm. They just stood there gaping at each other for a moment, and then Angel remembered.

"Come in, Spike."

Spike entered and gently laid the picture down on the nearest flat surface. "She's gone, Angel. Rose is gone." He startled the hell out of Angel when he started openly weeping.

Feeling more than a little awkward, Angel took the sobbing Spike into his arms and let him cry.

&&&&&&

Epilogue:

Spike had been, at least temporarily, installed in Angel's spare room. He barely emerged, except for occasional trips to the fridge for blood. The rest of the time he spent alone in his room, nursing his broken heart. After a few days of this, though, Angel felt he had to take steps.

"Spike?" He knocked on the bedroom door. "Spike? We need to talk."

Spike flung the door open, then turned away and threw himself face down on the bed. "So talk," he invited in dead tones.

"You can't spend the rest of your life in this room," Angel pointed out. "I know you miss her, Spike, more than any of us. But do you think she worked so hard to bring you back so you could shut everything out?"

"Screw you, Angel," Spike muttered, flipping over. "What have I bloody well got to live for now?"

"Because she would have wanted you to," Angel said gently. "Rose wanted you to be happy, Spike."

"Then why'd she have to go and sodding leave?" Spike shouted, sitting up. "Why'd she leave me?" His voice broke on the last word.

"She's one of The Powers That Be, Spike," Angel explained. "Did you really think she could stay? She has responsibilities that we can't even imagine. Responsibilities that extend far beyond the needs of one vampire, even if he does have a soul."

"I know." Spike capitulated. "I knew all along, I think, once she told me. I just put it out of my mind 'cause I couldn't face it."

"Do you think you could try taking her place in the research department?" Angel suggested. "I know you're not used to keeping regular hours and doing actual work for someone else, but it will give you something to do."

"I guess," Spike answered dispiritedly. "I find that I really don't give a rat's ass."

&&&&&&&

Bright and early Monday morning, Spike reported to Wesley for work, listened patiently to his explanations of what his job entailed, and got down to it. Around mid-morning, though, he got a summons to Angel's office.

Spike entered the office to see the 'old gang' as Lorne termed them, all met. He flopped into a chair unasked and avoided looking at any of them.

"Something strange has been going on," Angel began without preamble.

"And that's unusual at Wolfram and Hart?" Gunn asked.

"People all over the building have been seeing something," Angel went on. "The figure of a woman. They describe her as being of medium height, with reddish-brown hair and gray eyes."

Spike's head snapped up.

"It sounds like Rose," Wesley observed. "But I thought she was supposed to rejoin the rest of The Powers."

"So did I, Wesley," Rose said, appearing in the midst of them.

Spike leaped out of his chair and ran towards her, intending to swing her up in his arms.

He went right through her. "What the.., Oh no, oh god no." It hit him like a ton of bricks. "We just switched places, didn't we, precious?"

"It would seem we did." Rose's apparition went over and stood by him. "I didn't know it was going to be this way, Spike. But it wouldn't have made any difference to me if I had. And we did have one whole day together," she added wistfully.

"Did the rest of The Powers say why they did this?" Fred asked.

"I haven't been able to contact them," Rose confessed. "I don't know what's going on. When I try to go somewhere on my own, I can't even get past the..,"

"City limits," Spike finished for her. He gave a bitter laugh. He looked at Rose. "What are we going to do now, luv?"

"I guess, just what we did before," she replied softly. "If you don't mind me being around. Because trading places didn't change anything. I still love you."

"And I'll always love you, babe," Spike murmured, oblivious to the audience. "You can haunt me forever."

"Upon such sacrifices, my Cordelia, The gods themselves throw incense." King Lear Act V Scene III


End file.
